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The Top 7... You love 'em, we hate 'em

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Hated by: Video Editor Joe McNeilly

GTA: San Andreas hit gamers like a rush of crack to the brainstem. It was universally loved for being the biggest, most open-endedest game world ever created. Its narcotic potency somehow managed to veil millions of delirious fans from the fact that the game looked like crap, had awful controls, and was so full of pointless side-missions that it was choking on its own grandeur. One thing is clear: there is no end to Wonder Bread suburbanites who want to experience urban America at a safely mediated distance. 

People loved San Andreas because it introduced scads of new gameplay ideas, like forcing you to take your character to the gym to buff up. Herein lies a major irritant: why waste time improving the "strength" of some clunky virtual being, when you could be at the gym learning to kick two-by-fours in half? Games should transport the player to another place, not serve as a nagging reminder of the neglected real world. It creates a cycle of self-loathing and recrimination in people who are interested in life beyond the couch. Better go work off those jumbo dogs, Dogg. Now that's realism.



Above: San Andreas can be summed up in one word: "excess"

So let's all take a moment to thank GTA: San Andreas for putting the Mature in immature, giving every maladjusted teen shooter a ready-made excuse for their actions and for reinforcing (or reinventing) negative stereotypes in the mainstream press. We'll fight to the end to defend your right to fantasize about running over hookers in purloined vehicles; we just wonder why anyone thinks that's fun.

"Open-world games were awesome, until GTA: San Andreas peed in the sandbox."  - Joe

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6 comments

  • RanTheAwesome - February 19, 2010 1:56 p.m.

    Maybe running over hookers isn't fun to you, because you'd rather sleep with them and have them take all of your hard-earned cash. I personally enjoy running them over/shooting them for my own personal reasons. Once again, the hate for some of these game are weak.
  • CreeplyTuna - October 10, 2009 1:36 p.m.

    i hate gta 4. san andreas is fun
  • Jox - November 21, 2008 11:41 p.m.

    1st one!!!
  • Lrd_Chikn - February 11, 2009 5:18 a.m.

    WTF Donkey country is one of the best games for SNES, its not as good as Mario but its still pretty fun, I still play the gameboy color port
  • dewfish - May 25, 2009 4:45 a.m.

    I never understood the appeal of Grand Theft Auto. Does anybody think this is how real gangsters or mobsters live? I don't care how much Counterstrike, Team fortress 2, and Call of duty I play, I will never know what it's like to be a real soldier. From a gameplay perspective, the GTA series is like those combination printer/fax/copier machines. Good at one thing, mediocre at another, and horrible at the rest. Except GTA doesn't really excel at anything. As a "third person shooter", it is clunky and slow, it's driving dynamics are abysmal, and the storylines are completely uninteresting. It tries to be everything to everyone, and winds up being a huge ball of mediocrity.
  • jackrabbitslims - March 18, 2009 10:13 a.m.

    Wait, No Super Smash Bros? How someone hate GTA:SA but not the button mashing yawn fest that is SSBb Or SSBM. Has anyone noticed how shallow the fighting in the game is? Either way, great article.

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