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The Top 7... worst jobs for game characters



Wanted: A level one boss.

Job description: To appear extremely intimidating. Note "appear" descriptor - applicant cannot actually pose any threat to anyone, regardless of actual talent. Must be willing to die an embarrassing death in front of all henchmen and heroes, in any given location in all existence. Those interested in applying must also be able to appear in later levels for comedic value.

Send resumes to: Any non-sports game in existence.

Suckage factor: Stratospheric. No matter how powerful you really are or tough you look, your job is to get your ass handed to you on a regular basis. If you're lucky, you'll die quickly and never be seen again. If not, prepare to show up again in later levels after the hero has become even more powerful. The first defeat is fine, but later on you'll be so overpowered they'll be making necklaces out of your teeth.

All the jobs on this list are shameful, but this is easily the worst. Most of the employees work in total secrecy, so their menial lives are hidden from public view. The first boss, however, is required to work in plain sight and ruin what little reputation he had, forever relegating himself to the position of "living joke."

The worst part of all? This position has practically been eliminated, as most games these days don't even have "levels" to speak of. It's all hub-worlds and zones and streaming landscapes. The modern-day equivalent, an enemy who starts off big and bad and slowly becomes laughable as the game wears on (cough Big Daddy cough), is even more deplorable - they don't even get to have the fancy management title of "boss." They're just more fodder for the hero to humiliate.

Need more lists in your life? Check out our custom-dug bottomless pit of Top 7s.

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Top 7

14 comments

  • santaclouse37 - November 18, 2010 12:48 a.m.

    The only Fatality that ever really genuinely disturbed me was the one where Ermac slams his own head against the ground until it explodes. That shit was creepy long before Dead Space copied it in the one corridor bit.
  • BurntToShreds - August 21, 2010 5:07 a.m.

    Manny: I believe that the turtle boss is from Contra 3 for the SNES.
  • WesJones87 - August 17, 2010 2:49 p.m.

    The fatality video was B-E-A-Utiful!
  • Da-Ku - August 31, 2008 6:01 p.m.

    The Comment System Is Good But Not I Have To Go Back To Every Article I Read And Say "Great Article"... *sigh*
  • Manny-Faces - December 9, 2008 4:09 a.m.

    what games the turtle first boss from again im having a brain fart any1? and good article never looked at games like this before.
  • Hurricrane - December 9, 2008 3:24 a.m.

    rofls, RPG villains only serve mute spiked hair dudes XD
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - December 1, 2008 11:38 p.m.

    Keep fighting the good fight, Da-Ku.
  • killemall - March 25, 2009 7:30 p.m.

    its been along time since i've wanted to play motal kombat... but the gruesomeness just makes me want more. I thirst for fatalities~~~
  • runninglizard55 - February 25, 2009 3:52 a.m.

    wow the mortal kombat video was great makes me remember why my mom wouldn't get the game for me when i was in the third and forth grade
  • dougle - January 12, 2009 12:57 p.m.

    great artical
  • Remake - July 7, 2009 4:13 p.m.

    I had to stop the movie after 2 minutes of Mortal Kombat fatalities... that's too much brutal violence for my eyes.
  • dewfish - May 23, 2009 9 p.m.

    the enemy who starts off big and bad and slowly becomes laughable as the game wears on is mostly found in RPGs. Remeber the giant snake in the desert in FFVII? The first time you face him, tough as nails. You get to disc 3 or disc 4 and return to that desert, you can kill him with one hit.
  • MOOSE1234 - April 5, 2009 4:50 p.m.

    aww..last...so far...good article lol at plumber one
  • dougle - January 12, 2009 1 p.m.

    oops *article...lol what a noob

Showing 1-14 of 14 comments

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