The Top 7... worst jobs for game characters

Nobody wants to dig bottomless pits, but some poor sap has to

Wanted: A level one boss.

Job description: To appear extremely intimidating. Note "appear" descriptor - applicant cannot actually pose any threat to anyone, regardless of actual talent. Must be willing to die an embarrassing death in front of all henchmen and heroes, in any given location in all existence. Those interested in applying must also be able to appear in later levels for comedic value.

Send resumes to: Any non-sports game in existence.

Suckage factor: Stratospheric. No matter how powerful you really are or tough you look, your job is to get your ass handed to you on a regular basis. If you're lucky, you'll die quickly and never be seen again. If not, prepare to show up again in later levels after the hero has become even more powerful. The first defeat is fine, but later on you'll be so overpowered they'll be making necklaces out of your teeth.

All the jobs on this list are shameful, but this is easily the worst. Most of the employees work in total secrecy, so their menial lives are hidden from public view. The first boss, however, is required to work in plain sight and ruin what little reputation he had, forever relegating himself to the position of "living joke."

The worst part of all? This position has practically been eliminated, as most games these days don't even have "levels" to speak of. It's all hub-worlds and zones and streaming landscapes. The modern-day equivalent, an enemy who starts off big and bad and slowly becomes laughable as the game wears on (cough Big Daddy cough), is even more deplorable - they don't even get to have the fancy management title of "boss." They're just more fodder for the hero to humiliate.

Need more lists in your life? Check out our custom-dug bottomless pit of Top 7s.

Wanted: A level one boss.

Job description: To appear extremely intimidating. Note "appear" descriptor - applicant cannot actually pose any threat to anyone, regardless of actual talent. Must be willing to die an embarrassing death in front of all henchmen and heroes, in any given location in all existence. Those interested in applying must also be able to appear in later levels for comedic value.

Send resumes to: Any non-sports game in existence.

Suckage factor: Stratospheric. No matter how powerful you really are or tough you look, your job is to get your ass handed to you on a regular basis. If you're lucky, you'll die quickly and never be seen again. If not, prepare to show up again in later levels after the hero has become even more powerful. The first defeat is fine, but later on you'll be so overpowered they'll be making necklaces out of your teeth.

All the jobs on this list are shameful, but this is easily the worst. Most of the employees work in total secrecy, so their menial lives are hidden from public view. The first boss, however, is required to work in plain sight and ruin what little reputation he had, forever relegating himself to the position of "living joke."

The worst part of all? This position has practically been eliminated, as most games these days don't even have "levels" to speak of. It's all hub-worlds and zones and streaming landscapes. The modern-day equivalent, an enemy who starts off big and bad and slowly becomes laughable as the game wears on (cough Big Daddy cough), is even more deplorable - they don't even get to have the fancy management title of "boss." They're just more fodder for the hero to humiliate.

Need more lists in your life? Check out our custom-dug bottomlesspit of Top 7s.

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