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The Top 7... Worst games of 2010 (so far)

5) Naughty Bear

Platforms: 360 / PS3
Average Review Score: 42.4%

What the press release promised: “Players tired of the same old shoot-‘em-up, recycled gameplay are going to get what’s coming to them in Naughty Bear. The all-new scare-based points system introduces a whole new element of fun."

What the game actually delivered: If nothing else, Naughty Bear is new. That much should be obvious from the title and screenshot. Yes, you play as a cuddly stuffed toy who stalks, tortures and murders other cuddly stuffed toys. Yes, you can lay traps, sabotage homes, perform instant kill moves or even scare your enemies into committing suicide. Yes, there are ninja, zombie and alien bears. And yes, this is an awesomely original – if unbelievably silly – idea for a videogame that, in the right hands, could produce a surprise hit.

Could, but doesn't. In actual execution, Naughty Bear is a near-unplayable and mean-spirited mess, one so bad that even the concept – the only reason anyone was interested in this game to begin with – feels like a mistake. Why would we want to hunt down cute and fluffy animals for revenge when their sole crime was staying away from this psychopathic monster of a protagonist? Where's the fun in an arsenal of violent weaponry if you can't lock on and simply end up smashing the melee button while running around in a circle? Or in stealth, if the bear AI is too stupid to know when you're hiding and too slow to run away regardless? Or in finishing moves, if the golf club or baseball bat or machete knife just ends up clipping through the victim's body texture with no discernable impact?

Wasted potential – maybe. Waste – definitely.

The nicest thing anyone had to say: "Not completely devoid of charm." – D+PAD Magazine

The most scathing review quote: "An example for every game design classroom of what not to do." – Thunderbolt


4) Pure Futbol: Authentic Soccer

Platforms: 360 / PS3
Average Review Score: 41.3%

What the press release promised: "A new and unique vision of football videogames, emphasizing the intense, physical and spectacular aspects of the sport [and] placing the gamer in the heart of the action, as opposed to the feeling of watching a TV broadcast."

What the game actually delivered: "Pure" is no joke. This is soccer stripped down to nothing but the most minimal essentials. There are no stadiums and no crowds for atmosphere – instead, players compete in empty and often soulless settings, like a power station in London or a factory in Milan. There's no music or audio commentary, either – merely the sweaty sounds of grunting men and smacking balls in an echo chamber of extreme non-excitement.

Of course, such a bare-bones approach would be fine – welcome, even – if the developers were truly trying to focus on an "authentic" recreation of the sport, without distractions. Sadly, that's not the case at all. Goalies jump in the opposite directions of kicks. Penalties are handed out for meaningless reasons. Every team speaks with vague British accents, even when they hail from completely different continents.

Here's the worst part, though. You shoot by timing your button presses to a golf-like swing meter, and can't manually control the ball's ultimate destination. Crossing and side tackling are handled the same dumbed-down way. If you're thinking that Pure Futbol: Authentic Soccer suddenly seems an awful lot like a glorified quick-time event, masquerading as a realistic sports simulator,  well… we think we'd have to agree with you.

The nicest thing anyone had to say: "At least no spectators were subjected to this." – GameSpot

The most scathing review quote: "Strips football down and takes its soul." – Official Xbox Magazine UK


3) Prison Break: The Conspiracy

Platforms: 360 / PS3 / PC
Average Review Score: 39.7%

What the press release promised: "The ingenious plots and fast action of Prison Break thrill TV audiences around the world, and provide the ideal basis for a videogame."

What the game actually delivered: What's worse than a terrible game adaptation of a new summer blockbuster like Iron Man 2? Easy. Prison Break: The Conspiracy, a terrible game adaptation of a semi-successful television show, one that not only ended entirely over a year ago, but lost all relevance and popularity with the majority of viewers after its first season in 2005-2006. Timely!

And if you're unfortunate enough to play Prison Break, you'll immediately wonder what part of this shoddily constructed piece of programming could have possibly taken the developers so long to wrap up. We recently wrote how well a penitentiary theme could work in games – this extraordinarily unimaginative example of such a setting seems determined to prove us wrong. Environments so dull and drab that the sewers are a refreshing change of scenery? Guards that walk in robotic loops and don't react when you commit a crime or discuss secret escape plans within two feet of their faces? Missions that are rarely more involved than "fetch me a shiv"?

Not quite what we had in mind. Since you're not even playing as a character from the Prison Break series, probably not what fans had in mind, either.

The nicest thing anyone had to say: "The angle that the developers have taken is very unique." – RealGamer

The most scathing review quote: "You’d be better off picking up a bar of soap." – DarkZero

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62 comments

  • gatornation1254 - July 22, 2010 10:02 p.m.

    Yeah I also have no idea what happened to DoA.
  • PanzerDSS - July 21, 2010 9:29 p.m.

    Attack at the movies looks like a crappy Dreamcast game.
  • DagDabreemie - July 21, 2010 9:22 p.m.

    @thedonut - yeah I'm wondering if it is patched and fixed now to enjoy? Looks like it could('ve) be(en) thrilling 'Stay Alive' clone.
  • thedonut - July 21, 2010 1:36 p.m.

    It's too bad that "I'm Not Alone" actually looks really good
  • catherinehallows - July 21, 2010 10:25 a.m.

    I Like Naughty Bear though!
  • Smeggs - July 21, 2010 3:21 a.m.

    "Dimensionality"? Is that even a word?
  • Lilikka - July 21, 2010 1:02 a.m.

    As I said in my review of Attack of the Movies 3D (http://www.gamerswithcasts.com/review-attack-of-the-movies-3d-360/), if this is “the first-ever 3D shooter for the Xbox 360,” hopefully it will be the last. It gave me a terrible headache playing in 3D and it was just awful.
  • Zeb364 - July 20, 2010 10:07 p.m.

    Naughty Bear could have been great but despite there being a decent number of people who like it despite it's obvious flaws, it unfourtunately turned into a fairly crappy game. The rest of these however were clearly going to be shit from the get go. Crappy liscence tie-in's, DOA (a series that shouldn't exist), and a retarded "3D" game that if you were dumb enough to buy you deserve to lose your money.
  • GameManiac - July 20, 2010 6:11 p.m.

    No wonder the 3DS is glasses free. Speaking of those red/blue glasses... I remember wearing those glasses years ago for so long that I was unable to see white. I was seeing red or blue in different eyes for about two hours. I thought little of it back then but now I ealize how crappy those glasses were. I'm almost afraid to know what crap the second half of the year has to drop on us.
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - July 20, 2010 5:10 p.m.

    @FauxFurry Sorry to disillusion you, but many writers did give in to the temptation of clichéd bear puns when reviewing Naughty Bear. During my research, I saw "Unbearable" as a headline at least twice.
  • Nodoudt - July 20, 2010 5:03 p.m.

    I look at DoA as it is now and worry about Metroid.
  • WickedSid - July 20, 2010 1:16 p.m.

    Attention Commenters, Testicles. That is All.
  • shyfonzie - July 20, 2010 12:05 p.m.

    I want to personify Attack of the Movies 3d, then punch it in the face.
  • philipshaw - July 20, 2010 10:16 a.m.

    I thought Naughty Bear would win it but I didn't know about attack of the movies 3D, that does look awful
  • SwampRock - July 20, 2010 9:56 a.m.

    DoA, what happened to you? I remember when I played with your women so they could inflict bodily harm upon each other, now THATS what I call sexy.
  • AuthorityFigure - July 20, 2010 8:33 a.m.

    Will DoA appeal to sex-starved 30 year olds? Just asking...
  • FauxFurry - July 20, 2010 7:52 a.m.

    At the very least,we can be grateful that no reviewer saw fit to stir up a storm of cliche bear puns when putting down (and never picking back up) Naughty Bear. It has that going for it. As for the downwards spin-off spiral that the Dead or Alive series is on,this is all the more reason for folks to quit beating around the bush when it comes to women's bodies in M-rated games. A similar spin-off with the guys of DOA wouldn't work because there's literally nothing of a man's body that hasn't been seen yet in a game.(Then again,a bunch of shy men in bikinis might have some appeal yet! Look at how well cross dressing worked out for Guilty Gear's Bridget!) That and women gamers by and large thusfar would rather play the game at hand rather than with themselves. There are other electronic devices better suited to that end than a videogame.
  • CatrParrot - July 20, 2010 7:14 a.m.

    I really, REALLY wanted Naughty Bear to be good. I wasn't expecting it to receive universal acclaim, but at least get some decent reviews and not end up being one of the year's worst games. :(
  • TheWebSwinger - July 20, 2010 6:02 a.m.

    Charlie looks like Tony Stark. That is all.
  • Cwf2008 - July 20, 2010 3:05 a.m.

    I suppose the crappiness for that soccer game should have been evident in the description...Nothing is exciting about soccer!

Showing 1-20 of 62 comments

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