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The Top 7… worst games in great games


The game: Fable II
The in-game games: Fortune’s Tower, Keystone, Spinnerbox

We’ve worked our way through some truly awful games in games. But those games were free and easy to forgive since everything else was gravy. On the other hand, Fable II’s Pub Games are the only half-assed games this list that someone had the gall to try selling. For 800 Microsoft Points, which is about $10.00 or £6.80, you could download Fable II: Pub Games and play three casino-style games to earn some gold before Fable II released. The package included Fortune’s Tower (a pyramid card game), Keystone (Fable’s take on roulette and craps), and Spinnerbox (a random slot game).


Above: We’d rather play Free Cell 


Above: We’d rather download a random number generator


Above: We’d rather shoot ourselves in the face

Like the most casino-style games, Fable II’s Pub Games have a lot of obstacles to overcome right off the bat. First off, casino-style videogames suck. Casino-style games should be enjoyed in actual casinos. You know, those places where you can get free drinks, smoke indoors, and watch senior citizens gamble the last of their social security savings away. They’re also frustrating and often make you feel like the game’s “random” rolls are favoring your AI opponents. But really, our main gripe with Fable II’s pub games has to do with the principle of the matter. You don’t rip off your most faithful fans by selling the second-rate games that’ll come with the boxed copy of Fable II. And if you do, you don’t charge a whopping 800 points for them.

 
Good movie: Star Wars
Game: Dejarik

We love the Star Wars universe, but the first film hosts an imaginary game of questionable quality. The Millennium Falcon may have made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, but all Han’s got to offer his crew for entertainment during their downtime is a fuzzy FMV version of Battle Chess. What’s a Wookie to do?


Above: Chewbacca pits his wits against R2-D2, spawning volumes of dejarik-related fan fiction 

Feb 16, 2009


The Top 7... worst release dates EVER
How poor planning can wreck franchises both big and small

The most superior superior races
Gaming’s most supreme master species, stereotyped and rated

Topics

Top 7

79 comments

  • Assassin4than - April 11, 2009 2:47 p.m.

    you should make the best games in better games and have the entire ninja gaiden series in ninja gaiden for xbox,ffvii card game was so fun and also DOA xtreme 2 has half naked girls on jetskis waterslide playing cards and on poker machines so that should be in it somewhere.
  • blackninja2004 - April 10, 2009 5:13 a.m.

    hate Blitzball. when a game inside a game has to have lengthy tutorials then that ruins it for me. wakkas okay but doesnt do anything but wine like a little baby
  • RaIdEn - February 21, 2009 11:35 p.m.

    what about that piece-o-crap email decoder in double agent?
  • Stuffgamer1 - February 20, 2009 10:37 p.m.

    I liked Blitzball enough, I was kinda hoping they'd make a stand-alone version with improvements including multiplayer (online, maybe also off if they could manage it)! That's obviously never going to happen, though. I do fully agree about Pub Games, though. Well, except for the fact that I got it free with the reserve deal. The most annoying part was definitely the Achievements (which I do have all of, amazingly).
  • Flapjackturd - February 19, 2009 9:30 p.m.

    ive nevr played any of these games so i posted dis comment to show i dont care
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - February 19, 2009 1:25 p.m.

    @ Russianred90: They were more training games than actual minigames. Think of them as additional tutorials And In addition to Cyhsquid77's comment, what about the Quark Vid-Comics in R&C Up Your Arsenal? They weren't TERRIBLE, though needing to complete them at high speed to get Skill Points and collecting all the Quark Tokens to get the Titanium Bolts (Yes, these are just bragging rights, i know) was kinda irritating. But yeah, The Quark Vid-Comics were bearable. Not ALL minigames = evil... Just most of them. lol, ReCaptcha : "ignorant 10" - description of most people on XBL possibly? xD
  • crossed23 - February 19, 2009 2:03 a.m.

    Sorry Cronoman66 but Blitzball sucked. I actually quit playing FFX just because of the blitzball force on to the player segment of the game. But that is just me so I have to agree with the site on that one and OH.... Boba Fett didnt die but Im sure you guys really knew that, I mean come on could Lucas really kill off a Mandolarian that easily.... I think NOT!!!
  • Darthkeyblader13 - February 18, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    hey!!!Blitzball was actually a good game! I get how you could hate Wakka
  • Auron - February 18, 2009 9:36 p.m.

    I thought Blitzball was quite good -.-
  • Clownsarescary - February 18, 2009 9 p.m.

    Awsome article, but you missed out Fable 2 - a bad mini game in the overall game of life.
  • sadowolf - February 18, 2009 8:19 a.m.

    i absolutely loathed blitzball at first. but then after suffering thru over 90 games of it to get a goddamn jupiter sigil it kinda grows on you. i never lost a game (i was like 95-0...) so it became kinda fun seeing how badly i could beat the other team and if i could make a goal from over 3/4 fields length away with 3 people guarding me (actually did it a few times). but yea, blitzball sucks haha
  • triforcerpgfreek - February 18, 2009 5:35 a.m.

    yeah pazaak is the only boring part about KOTOR.
  • Spunkypikachu89 - February 17, 2009 11:20 p.m.

    Are you implying that freecell is a bad game? Huh beyatch, u wanna go. Iz gun kik ur azz wit mai roflcopter. See what you did. You made my I.Q. go down because of my frustration with you.
  • Russianred90 - February 17, 2009 11 p.m.

    old game but the god awful arcade games in spiderman 2 ya all the same crap then one in doom 3 and also hated the one in prey in the bar
  • noobeater - February 17, 2009 9:40 p.m.

    oh i menat to say on banjo kazooie if some of you need to know sorry for bouble post
  • Jordo141 - February 17, 2009 6:55 p.m.

    Oh God, the minigames in GTA:SA were truely crap, and hard too. And that cube one in GTA IV was a pain in the ass too.
  • BodyDamage - February 17, 2009 5:12 p.m.

    I actually really enjoyed blitzball in FFX, but man did i hate stupid wakka.
  • SOLIDSNAKE1983 - February 17, 2009 3:08 p.m.

    The mini games in bully were annoying especially the bloody sumo one that you had to do to progress the the story!!!
  • TheKraige - February 17, 2009 11:57 a.m.

    And a great game in a great game, Hero Klungo in Banjo Nuts and Bolts. I like Blitzball and the pub games and ME just needed more indepth version of quasar and an actual need for money seriously thats a game that needs to be like grinding on cetain planets and playin gambling games to get money it basically threw it at you thats my one critisism of that game maybe in ME2.
  • swinghi - February 17, 2009 8:58 a.m.

    C'mon. That air hockey game in Beyond Good and Evil is not on the list. That thing was crazy hard at the higher levels.

Showing 1-20 of 79 comments

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