As much as we dig the idea of blazin’ bullet battles in Zero G, that’s not necessarily what defines Dead Space. Ambience? Take a look at the multiplayer maps we scientifically proved to be the greatest of all time… do you see any mention of “atmosphere” when talking about de_dust or Sandtrap? These are simple, generally well-lit environments that don’t resemble the claustrophobic corridors of derelict space ships.
Much more importantly, let’s recall the combat mechanic that made Dead Space stand out in the first place: Dismemberment. How exactly does one fire a weapon of extremely limited ammunition with no arm? Now, add the crucial ability to slow time, and you’ve got yourself online match fit for a Monty Python sketch. Seriously, if we wanted to engage in losing firefights with missing limbs, we’d join the US military.
Wait a minute, GamesRadar, Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show isn’t a game, you silly geese! Are you trying to pull a fast one on us?
Watching movies on your console is super-fantasmical, but what the experience doesn’t need is the equivalent of being on the phone with your dumbass friend while watching the same thing on TV. And while it isn’t technically a game, the 360 likes to suggest it is by pointing out who else is “playing” Netflix every time you open it. Maybe we should get Achievements for watching documentaries?
Above: This is just here because out-of-context video stills are funny
Anyway, the last thing we want is a bunch of goofy avatars chattering on while we try to enjoy the exasperated musings of Vince Vaughn and his Livestrong-bracelet-wearing friends. The upcoming Netflix implementation on Wii will probably lack this functionality, because, you know, the Wii is as capable as Jay Leno is funny, but we’d love to see them and their 16-digit codes try, just for our amusement.