Google+

The Top 7... Unsexy Femme Fatales

What makes a game successful? Graphics? Story? Gameplay? Don't be silly. All a game really needs are the two magic ingredients - blood and boobs.

Knowing this, developers will cram as much sex and violence into their products as possible. They always get the latter right. Forgive our stereotype, but since these teams usually consist of a bunch of geeky dudes, they tend to understand the guts and gore part. For the exact same reason, however, their attempts at creating beautiful and sexy women can be embarrassingly clumsy.

The seven pixelated ladies in our countdown were clearly designed to arouse and allure, to attain a pinnacle of hotness that would tempt any boy or man into forking over his hard-earned cash. But somewhere along the way, something went horribly wrong. What should have been sirens, vixens, seducers and heartbreakers... ended up monsters.



"The Fug Fatale"

Who is she? Shahdee. When she's not commanding an army of bloodthirsty sand demons, hijacking pirate ships or hunting Middle Eastern royalty through the far reaches of time, Shahdee enjoys long walks on the beach.

Where's she from? Prince of Persia: Warrior Within (2004 - Multi-Platform)

What the hell is wrong with her? From the neck down, Shahdee is a statuesque picture of female perfection. From the neck up, unfortunately, she looks more like a 13 year-old boy at a Marilyn Manson concert. The badly smeared eyeliner, the butch haircut and the petulant frown all scream, "Get out of my room, Mom! God I hate you!"

If Shahdee is ever resurrected for a sequel, we'd suggest spending less time on the meticulous placement of tiny leather strips over her crotch and more time on making sure she doesn't resemble a drowned teenage corpse.

Meet Shahdee in the video below.


Topics

Top 7

15 comments

  • edw0027 - October 17, 2009 4:23 a.m.

    the first one isnt that bad in the beginning of the video. and you could always put a bag over her head
  • SteelStreet - September 29, 2009 6:51 a.m.

    The funniest thing was when he tried to run away in the nomad soul.
  • thochaos - October 29, 2008 7:35 a.m.

    Holy shit, I'd forgotten how awesome I thought battle Arena Toshinden 1 & 2 were back in the Playstations' early days. Oh, good article too.
  • skyguy343 - October 29, 2008 12:17 a.m.

    slutty AND bitchy!?! HOT DAMN I'LL TAKE FOUR!!
  • mozaralio - October 28, 2008 11:56 p.m.

    w00t 2nd comment hmm ok well I agree all those characters were unsexy idk about you but some of the ermm prostitutes? in saints row one were pretty unsexy then again I odnt know if they were supposed to be any way nice article
  • GGsBeat - October 28, 2008 11:13 p.m.

    wow i did not know most of these so called "vixens" existed oh and uhm first i think
  • uz_mike222 - August 19, 2009 8:27 p.m.

    @geosteiner she's in a different Top 7 article dude but nice read
  • zombie95 - July 14, 2009 4:53 a.m.

    dood i know a chic named ashley, shez a cheerleader and she acts like a slut and she iz a bitch sumtimez and she is really hot(big titz 2) and she live like 5 minz away from me(walking). Also there is this other girl she isnt hot but she iz cute, she live close 2 but she has medium sized titz. lolz
  • AnonymouZ - July 9, 2009 11:42 p.m.

    who the hell minds thongs anyway? And... like a comment above, hadn't even heard of most of these ladies. Still a pretty entertaining read x)
  • AA95mp - January 18, 2009 3:52 p.m.

    @skyguy343:your not the only one
  • geosteiner5 - July 15, 2009 10:31 p.m.

    where the hell is that fat cop from dead rising?
  • sdmitch16 - July 14, 2009 4:39 a.m.

    Uranus in an angelic woman in that game.
  • TheHumbleSlave - July 9, 2009 11:52 p.m.

    I don't think Shahdee looks bad at all. I'm not saying that she is all too beautiful, but she looks okay.+
  • doomdoomdoom - July 9, 2009 10:14 p.m.

    My eye's are bleeding and my ears are screaming AT LEAST BLUR THE FACES!!!!!
  • kryptkeeper666 - July 9, 2009 8:11 a.m.

    maybe its just cuz ima fucked up goth kid... but i dont mind the PoP chick... Shes a royal pain to fight though..

Showing 1-15 of 15 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000