6. The Simpsons: Bart vs the Space Mutants
1991 | NES, Genesis, Game Gear, Sega Master System, Amiga, PC, C64
Yes, OK, this was the first Simpsons game, slammed out in a flood of clueless merchandising that hit when the show was still in its infancy. Yes, it was aimed at kids, and no, the geniuses at publisher Acclaim weren't about to hire anyone on par with the show's writers. Not when they could make just as much money ripping off the plot to They Live, a classic film in which ex-wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper uses sunglasses to see aliens wearing human disguises.
But even when we were slogging through this as children, there was one bit we realized was incredibly lame. Early in the first level, there's a payphone sitting right outside of Moe's Tavern. Hop up and get your quarters ready, and you can make Bart prank-call Moe Szyslak, thereby ensuring hilarity. Or it would, except that the fake names Bart gets Moe to call out to his customers - Isobel Ringing, Stu Piddiddiot, I.M. Adope - are only funny to little kids who like reading books about knock-knock jokes.
Above: Yeah, anyone who'd still pay money for this dreck
They also pale in comparison to the show's own gags, like Amanda Hugandkiss, Hugh Jass and I.P. Freely. Making matters worse, the most risqué name in the game is Jock Strap, a gag that that A) isn't actually funny on any level, and B) wouldn't fool a first-grader, let alone a badger-faced madman like Moe.
Oh, and for what it's worth? The prank call is probably the funniest moment in this whole miserable game. Enjoy it while it lasts, kiddies.