The Top 7... Ugliest bastards in gaming

Meat King | Hitman: Contracts

The gelatinous antithesis of body-obsessed, dietary-dictated gym bitches, this guy is sex and ugly minced up and squeezed into a giant greasy sausage skin of seduction. The bloated digits and black fingernails, the hint of red satin underpants, the fully stretched nylon socks, the luxuriant man-tits and a chez lounge fashioned out of swine carcasses. He's a gratuitous expanse of indecency that has a complete disregard for magazine cover cosmetic beauty, and that gives him potent sex appeal. Just don't let him sit on your face.


Top 7


  • lumpkin - July 17, 2012 3:10 p.m.

    "Bungie has confirmed that this is Marcus R. Lehto's face, not John's"
  • linkganon - April 6, 2010 6:47 a.m.

    The game Undertaker makes the real Undertaker look good. Calling the real Undertaker hideous in person would be the last mistake you'd probably make because he'd tombstone you and you'd... Rest In Peace.
  • Jumpman19972 - October 21, 2008 2:05 a.m.

  • ryno - November 27, 2008 5:42 p.m.

    you forgot Ethan Thomas from Condemnd 2 great article
  • ryno - November 27, 2008 4:07 p.m.

    so thats what the master chief looks like
  • caboose4400 - June 1, 2009 6:12 a.m.

    god damn those are some ugly bastards
  • dewfish - May 24, 2009 3:11 a.m.

    I always thought that Max Payne's face was based on christian slater from true romance....
  • Assassin4than - April 28, 2009 4:29 a.m.

    omg that double max payne pic is the funniest thing i have ever seen
  • AuthorityFigure - April 25, 2009 1:46 a.m.

    Exactly how legit is that Halo image?
  • Dudeman47 - April 23, 2009 2:44 a.m.

    The meat king is absolutely disgusting.
  • DUImonkey - March 25, 2009 2:15 a.m.

    that's just a random spartan its not the master chief well at least that's what I've heard anyway
  • vdaymassacre - March 14, 2009 5:41 a.m.

    The Meat King makes me want to slaughter myself.
  • pjbuhl - February 1, 2009 4:23 p.m.

    oooo *barf* oh dear god the fat guy on the last page is revolting, *barf*
  • KillerPotato - June 4, 2009 2:12 p.m.

  • blarney - April 21, 2009 2:50 a.m.

    what about the big naked fat guy from hitman 2
  • SirJustus - March 10, 2009 7:55 a.m.

    maybe whoever hacked was better than your friend at hacking hahahaha
  • Satanshadow94 - January 28, 2009 10:14 p.m.

    No way you guys did something on the cheif my friend hacked halo beta for hours and more hours no way

Showing 1-17 of 17 comments

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