The Top 7... trendy game-design crutches

2. Talking

Why do they love it? No group of people on this earth is more fond of digging their own graves than temperamental game designers. This is not precisely a rare bird; whether it's Denis Dyack going off on his latest tirade, or Peter Molyneux telling us all that his latest masterwork is going to be so powerful it will make grown men commit Natal pedophilia with Milo, we've certainly no shortage of daytime drama here in the videogame industry. And yet developers continue to run their mouths faster than their teams can work, with the end result being disappointment and skepticism after too much hype. 

Case in Point: Peter Molyneux

"I reckon that Project: Ego [Fable 1] is going to be the greatest role-playing-game of all time, which is insane. I could say the second greatest, I could say quite good, I could say, ‘Hmmmm, it's quite nice,’ but I'm going to say greatest game of all time."

– Peter Molyneux, in an interview with Xbox Nation, July 2003

1. Sequels

Why do they love it? So what if most sequels demand you spend the next few years of your life developing something soulless just for the money? It's so freakin' easy! Use the same engines and art assets from the last game, throw in a few more characters onscreen, add some zombies, and BOOM! Payday! That said, it's hard to blame the developers for this, considering it's the gamers who continue to purchase this stank-ridden swill. Seriously, who is it that's still buying Dynasty Warriors?

Case in Point: Halo 3: ODST


We don't know how good Halo 3: ODST will be, but what we do know is that it's blatant brand-name sequel filler that's being pushed out onto the market for the sake of filling another fiscal quarter with a Halo game. It may turn out to be a fantastic game, but let's all be realistic: this is a cash-in title that exists for the sole purpose of keeping the seat warm for Halo 4.

Aug 24, 2009

The Top 7... Lazy Character Cliches
Copy, paste, unoriginality! The most overused archetypes of all time

The most mediocre box art
The blandest, dullest and all-around boring-est covers we could find

The 100 lamest game-industry cliches
Learn the lexicon of laziness that makes all game reviews sound the same


Top 7


  • macbad - February 24, 2011 8:52 p.m.

    btw the way Cole clings to buildings IS explained, he uses static electricity. -.-
  • AVATARMAN - February 22, 2011 12:02 p.m.

    With inFAMOUS, it explains in 2 that he trained in New Marais, and perhaps the lore thing of it is that it made him partially magnetic so he could climb with ease and such
  • FanofSaiyan - December 7, 2009 3:19 a.m.

    Parkour, how the hell did they miss Mirrors Edge on that one!?
  • FanofSaiyan - December 7, 2009 3:18 a.m.

    Last great mine cart level I played was LittleBigPlanet, and Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time. Although half the level took place in a mine, but no carts.
  • Defguru7777 - August 30, 2009 10:45 p.m.

    I respectively disagree with 1 and 5.
  • PS3FANBOYKID - August 28, 2009 9:31 a.m.

    WAY TOO MANY SEQUELS!!! Think about all of the games you are playing or want to play... most of them are sequels like god of war 3, modern warfare 2, and ff 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • AHolyMonk - August 28, 2009 1:12 a.m.

    I agree on all points. The only problem is that it obviously isnt going to stop any of us from buying games for these exact reasons. We know what we want as gamers, but noone is showing us anything new and exciting, so we stick with what we know, and so do devs.
  • RickyV300 - August 27, 2009 3:44 a.m.

    you guys bash emos to hard
  • MGS4SolidSnake - August 27, 2009 3:13 a.m.

    what about a character like snake..he is an example of that grizzled chain smoking sounding 40 year old(even though technically he is or whatever)..but would u count him i mean he did it before it was coool
  • secretsearcher - August 26, 2009 7:17 p.m.

    @nadrewod999 DAMN man that's a long comment. @xboxrulez Looks like adadadad got another username. And I don't like the Xbox personally. OK now for my comment. This was a great article, though not one of the best top 7 list you guys have done. And some sequels are good (Sly Cooper 2 anyone?)
  • gameman67 - August 25, 2009 11:51 p.m.

    The Gravelly Voice for Alex Mercer is for a good reason. You shouldbeat the game, and you will find out why. If anything, he should be in the hood category over Altair, as an assasin should have concealing clothing.
  • theschwartzb - August 25, 2009 3:17 p.m.

    I would probably say that Altair wears a hood because he is an assassin. Honestly, you used a bad example for number 6. The fact that he is wearing a white robe and wears his throwing knives right on his belt, and doesn't even cover them up is a moot point. He wears the hood so that people are less likely to recognize him, just like any good assassin would.
  • Bobidge - August 25, 2009 2:57 p.m.

    I'll tell you who is still buying Dynasty Warriors..... My mate Dan! I only ever bought DW 3
  • bschroth - August 25, 2009 2:02 p.m.

    While I agree with the number one point that too many devs/publishers rely on sequels to line their pockets I think it's the gamers fault. When you buy a game you're voting with your wallet and we all know how shitty everyone is at voting. Stop voting for the george bush of videogames and start buying only the games you wish to see more of. Consider it an investment in good games.
  • Seabread - August 25, 2009 11 a.m.

    Oops, forgot to mention UnrealEngine3. lighting is too garish and blue. reflective surfaces actually look like they're glowing. Source is a much better engine. Dev's should use Source!
  • thomashalpenny - August 25, 2009 10:57 a.m.

    what does ODST even stand for? ReCaptcha: LAWRENCE linking...sounds like a gay dating website only for people called lawrence
  • Seabread - August 25, 2009 10:54 a.m.

    ah, the big mouthed boss. dont they all write cheques that our arses are required to cash? the Halo series got boring after CombatEvolved. Was there even a story in there? my money is on Halo:reach being exactly the same - or maybe a mashup between FPS and RTS (like MAG)
  • Felixthecat - August 25, 2009 10:50 a.m.

    I never noticed before.
  • Cool - August 25, 2009 10:20 a.m.

    another game cliche i think is the grey color palette.
  • Revanofsith - August 25, 2009 8:22 a.m.

    Majora's Mask for one. OoT was perfect without it. Electricity plus water equals PEOPLE DIE! reCaptcha: 2,300,000 rejoins

Showing 1-20 of 79 comments

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