The Top 7... stupid plans for world conquest

When brilliant tactical masterminds aren't

Words: David Houghton on January 11, 2010

1. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Shepard’s contrived war for patriotism

The plan: Thanks to MW2’s pioneeringly incomprehensible writing, the best we can give you is an assumed approximation, but our suspicion is that General Shepard worked with (or manipulated) Russian terrorists to incite World War III and usher in a brave new world order of American patriotism.

The problem: Okay, so America’s worldwide public image isn’t too great right now. And we understand that that hurts. And we also understand that rallying to a collective cause can unite a country like nothing else (hey, it worked for that Hitler guy). But a full-scale global war? Initiated against a long-held rival in the nuclear arms race?

Had Shepard’s plan not been stopped (we assume it was) by Price and Soap, there would have been only one outcome. Crispy dead everyone.

But you know, as long as everyone was patriotically crispy and dead, right?

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Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS1

Topics:

Top 7

42 comments

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marcio-campos - February 23, 2013 7:12 a.m.

I keep Laughing and laughing.
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DreamWeaverPL - October 30, 2010 7:40 p.m.

Enclave WANTED to KILL all the MUTANTS in Fallout. What's stupid about it? It's like saying that the third reich's plan to eradicate Jews and other ethnicities was stupid. It's just an agenda that exceeds utilitarianism or even common sense and simple gain. It's not stupid, it's realistic, scary and lifelike. Sometimes I think all of you GamesRadar editors should go back to school. >.>
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cronomonkey - July 31, 2010 7:46 a.m.

yea 'cause as long as everyone is patriotically crispy and dead, its perfectly fine
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INFINITYGAUNTLET - July 28, 2010 7:43 p.m.

"Thanks to MW2’s pioneeringly incomprehensible writing" Thank you.
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FanofSaiyan - January 31, 2010 6:11 p.m.

SF4's main baddie kinda looks like Dr. Manhattan... in a body glow sort of way... and they both don't wear pants. lolz
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girlgoodnice01 - January 18, 2010 7:53 p.m.

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speno93 - January 16, 2010 10:14 a.m.

loved the Gears pic of Marcus in a raft. Boy there are some stupidly stupid villians out there, and the whole idea of universal conquest is a bit daft in the first place. You rule the world, now what? , spend your time heaping through massive piles of paperwork that always comes with a government job whilst at least two full scale rebellions threaten to toast your arse. Stick to being a mad scientist/crinimal/sorceress/whatever
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Gremlin187 - January 14, 2010 10:09 a.m.

Yea what Defguru7777 said it was a momment of kill or die or theres a song by six feet under i'll put it in as this a momment of death or glory
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SausageLozenge - January 13, 2010 10:16 p.m.

They must have been watching reruns of Pinky and the Brain.
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GameManiac - January 12, 2010 11:57 p.m.

Are there any TRUE evil geniuses in video games???
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DriveShaft - January 12, 2010 8:38 p.m.

You made Fallout's sound so stupid but I still love it x]
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rxb - January 12, 2010 1:26 p.m.

Kung Nuke made me laugh, so did the wombles reference.
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GamesRadarDavidHoughton - January 12, 2010 11:04 a.m.

LordsOfTechno: I was singing it in my head when I wrote it. Glad you picked up on it. :)
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Illumini - January 12, 2010 7:07 a.m.

I KNEW that Modern Warfare 2 would get top billing here. That plot was fucking ridiculous.
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mentalityljs - January 12, 2010 4:44 a.m.

Maybe this is why Sonic can't catch a break, cuz the devs are now trying to make sense?
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PescadoPlus - January 12, 2010 4:07 a.m.

It seems none of you have witnessed Seth's limitless power.
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Doctalen - January 12, 2010 3:50 a.m.

I never did understand that plot twist in modern warfare two. The guy decides to let the Russians invade America just to ge the 30k he lost in a nuke that happen five years before? Seriously if he isn't killed in duty then the idea would fail horribly especially since presumably many many civilians were hit from the bombs raids, troop landing, disease and lack of supplies that would have followed an invasion on those scales.
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Ninja-KiLLR - January 12, 2010 2:44 a.m.

yeah i never pick up on that in fallout 3 like other people on here.
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SonicX_89 - January 12, 2010 2:06 a.m.

Kung nuke. Brilliant really.
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Defguru7777 - January 12, 2010 1:56 a.m.

I kinda agree with matt588. Did Shepard really want world domination? I think he just wanted America to be powerful again after Al-Asad's nuke went off. I still don't get why he betrayed Task Force 141. And it never says in the game (unless I'm missing something) that he's working with Makarov. ReCaptcha: abstains Moscow Makarov would be proud.
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