Google+

The Top 7... stupid plans for world conquest

3. The Fallout series

The Enclave’s genetic cleansing scheme

The plan: To use nuclear war and viral toxins to clean up humanity. As the long-time shadow government of the USA, the Enclave had masterminded all manner of dodgy backroom dealings since before the great war. When the bombs fell, it decided to use the worldwide nuking as a fresh start. The plan was to fly to a new planet, and the nation's vault dwellers were to be unwitting guinea pigs for the various conditions the chosen space travellers would face.

When the space idea fell through, things changed. The replacement plan was to adapt the rediscovered FEV virus (created by the military before the war and responsible for the Super Mutants) into a toxin with which to wipe out all irradiated citizens of the USA and create a new world order of pure humans. Pure vault dwellers were used in the experiments to perfect the toxin.

The problem: In Fallout’s world, wiping out all contaminated people in the USA means wiping out all people in the USA. Thus, had the Enclave’s plan succeeded, it would have found itself with one hell of a lot of empty space to clean up, fix and rebuild, and no-one around to help. A problem exacerbated given that it had wiped out a good proportion of the country’s ‘clean’ humans during its experiments to create the virus in the first place.

And besides, exactly how long would the Enclave remain pure once it had moved back into a blasted desert world baked by nuclear Armageddon for two centuries?


2. Street Fighter IV

Seth’s self-improvement regime

The plan: With the global Shadoloo crime syndicate in tatters following M. Bison’s defeat in Street Fighter II, Seth, one of Bison’s would-be replacement bodies, took over the organisation's weapons division with the intention of reinvigorating the group's previous underworld dominance and nefarious schemes. His method? Organise a new World Warrior tournament and copy the abilities of the challengers in order to make himself the ultimate fighter.

The problem: So, assuming his plan had succeeded, what would Seth really have achieved? Being a hard bastard? Great. That kind of intimidation might work in the playground, but when trying to establish your empire's icy grip upon global freedom? Not so much. What does he think will happen? The collective political and military might of the world will quake in fear at the sight of a guy who's a bit handy in a pub carkpark scrap?

Kung fu is one thing. Kung nuke is another thing altogether.

Topics

Top 7

42 comments

  • marcio-campos - February 23, 2013 7:12 a.m.

    I keep Laughing and laughing.
  • DreamWeaverPL - October 30, 2010 7:40 p.m.

    Enclave WANTED to KILL all the MUTANTS in Fallout. What's stupid about it? It's like saying that the third reich's plan to eradicate Jews and other ethnicities was stupid. It's just an agenda that exceeds utilitarianism or even common sense and simple gain. It's not stupid, it's realistic, scary and lifelike. Sometimes I think all of you GamesRadar editors should go back to school. >.>
  • cronomonkey - July 31, 2010 7:46 a.m.

    yea 'cause as long as everyone is patriotically crispy and dead, its perfectly fine
  • INFINITYGAUNTLET - July 28, 2010 7:43 p.m.

    "Thanks to MW2’s pioneeringly incomprehensible writing" Thank you.
  • FanofSaiyan - January 31, 2010 6:11 p.m.

    SF4's main baddie kinda looks like Dr. Manhattan... in a body glow sort of way... and they both don't wear pants. lolz
  • girlgoodnice01 - January 18, 2010 7:53 p.m.

    Welcome to our website: http://www.wowhotsale.com The website wholesale for many kinds of fashion shoes, like the nike,jordan,prada,adidas, also including the jeans,shirts,bags,hat and the decorations. All the products are free shipping, and the the price is competitive, and also can accept paypal payment.,after the payment, can ship within short time. free shipping competitive price any size available We do wholesale and retail! All are extremely CHEAP, please visit: http://www.wowhotsale.com Thank you for your visit
  • speno93 - January 16, 2010 10:14 a.m.

    loved the Gears pic of Marcus in a raft. Boy there are some stupidly stupid villians out there, and the whole idea of universal conquest is a bit daft in the first place. You rule the world, now what? , spend your time heaping through massive piles of paperwork that always comes with a government job whilst at least two full scale rebellions threaten to toast your arse. Stick to being a mad scientist/crinimal/sorceress/whatever
  • Gremlin187 - January 14, 2010 10:09 a.m.

    Yea what Defguru7777 said it was a momment of kill or die or theres a song by six feet under i'll put it in as this a momment of death or glory
  • SausageLozenge - January 13, 2010 10:16 p.m.

    They must have been watching reruns of Pinky and the Brain.
  • GameManiac - January 12, 2010 11:57 p.m.

    Are there any TRUE evil geniuses in video games???
  • DriveShaft - January 12, 2010 8:38 p.m.

    You made Fallout's sound so stupid but I still love it x]
  • rxb - January 12, 2010 1:26 p.m.

    Kung Nuke made me laugh, so did the wombles reference.
  • GR_DavidHoughton - January 12, 2010 11:04 a.m.

    LordsOfTechno: I was singing it in my head when I wrote it. Glad you picked up on it. :)
  • Illumini - January 12, 2010 7:07 a.m.

    I KNEW that Modern Warfare 2 would get top billing here. That plot was fucking ridiculous.
  • mentalityljs - January 12, 2010 4:44 a.m.

    Maybe this is why Sonic can't catch a break, cuz the devs are now trying to make sense?
  • PescadoPlus - January 12, 2010 4:07 a.m.

    It seems none of you have witnessed Seth's limitless power.
  • Doctalen - January 12, 2010 3:50 a.m.

    I never did understand that plot twist in modern warfare two. The guy decides to let the Russians invade America just to ge the 30k he lost in a nuke that happen five years before? Seriously if he isn't killed in duty then the idea would fail horribly especially since presumably many many civilians were hit from the bombs raids, troop landing, disease and lack of supplies that would have followed an invasion on those scales.
  • Ninja-KiLLR - January 12, 2010 2:44 a.m.

    yeah i never pick up on that in fallout 3 like other people on here.
  • SonicX_89 - January 12, 2010 2:06 a.m.

    Kung nuke. Brilliant really.
  • Defguru7777 - January 12, 2010 1:56 a.m.

    I kinda agree with matt588. Did Shepard really want world domination? I think he just wanted America to be powerful again after Al-Asad's nuke went off. I still don't get why he betrayed Task Force 141. And it never says in the game (unless I'm missing something) that he's working with Makarov. ReCaptcha: abstains Moscow Makarov would be proud.

Showing 1-20 of 42 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000