Google+

The Top 7... Secret shame games

6. Nintey-Nine Nights

What the hell is this? Generic fantasy beat 'em-all that was originally intended to be a marquee title for the 360.

Whose fault is it? Tetsuya Mizuguchi, Microsoft Game Studios, and Phantagram.

What happened? We're not entirely sure. Everything about Ninety-Nine Nights looked promising. Mizuguchi, fresh off of Rez and Lumines, would be helming the title, Microsoft Game Studios would be providing funding, and South Korean developer Phantagram (of Kingdom Under Fire fame) would be assisting in the programming and design work. It's come to light, however, that this multi-national arrangement made communication quite difficult at times, and staff have described the game's development as "troubled."

The final product wound up being a hack-fest involving you mowing down hundreds upon hundreds of rampaging soldiers. While the graphics were amazing from a technical standpoint, the character designs and artwork were based firmly in generic fantasy archetypes. The gameplay was equally bland, feeling like a cut-and-paste straight from the Dynasty Warriors school of "chop down anything that moves." Somehow, though, N3's mindless button-mashing felt even more uninspired than the formula that spawned it. And when you're more uninspired than Dynasty Warriors, well... that's an accomplishment, albeit a mighty dubious one.



Aftermath: People all but stopped caring about a week after N3's release, and Mizuguchi's Q? Entertainment has become eerily quiet, focusing primarily on regurgitated Xbox Live content for the time being. We're sure Miz will make up for this one somehow, but we don't blame him for wanting to lay low for a while.

Topics

Top 7

24 comments

  • BearzUnlimited - May 25, 2012 1:28 p.m.

    Umm...how about Valve's Ricochet? Valve themselves even joke about how terrible it was.
  • 2cute2Bcruel - September 29, 2010 6:45 a.m.

    OMG! I had no idea that Delphine made Shaq-Fu! What were they thinking?
  • gamemaster100 - June 14, 2009 9:26 p.m.

    i never even knew any of these games
  • killemall - April 27, 2009 8:42 p.m.

    Sorry GR i know you mean well and this article is quite entertaining, but i have to agree with Ballplayer on this one... If the games is that bad why would i spend carsh/time/energy on it? Especially when i could be finally purchasing Okami (better late then never, ne?)
  • Unoriginal - March 11, 2009 6:38 p.m.

    Is there anything Shaq didn't put his face on for some cash?
  • NevetsNooney - March 9, 2009 9:02 p.m.

    Who in thier right mind woud make a game about truck racing. I mean come on!
  • m_gamer234 - March 6, 2009 2:40 a.m.

    oh my bad i forgot to mention i was laughing about that shaq fu game
  • PreyingMantis - March 4, 2009 1:56 a.m.

    lol shaq-fu
  • midknight8 - March 3, 2009 12:37 a.m.

    And holy crap, american pro trucker was sitting next to my computer just now. I had just found it in a desolate corner of my room, buried under a pile of dirty clothes, pokemon cards and milky way wrappers. I was going to play it cause i didn't even rmember owning this game now i know not to.
  • midknight8 - March 3, 2009 12:30 a.m.

    Never heard of stunt fx, looks like crap And ninety nine nights doesn't look so terrible
  • cart00n - March 2, 2009 9:42 p.m.

    I actually LIKED the idea of Shaq Fu, a game based on a sports hero that didn't involve sports. It was unexpected, which I thought was pretty cool. It's just too bad that the game sucked so hard...
  • Gaffelstein - March 2, 2009 8:19 p.m.

    I loved Justice League: Task Force when I was a kid. I thought i sucked at it, turns out it was just the game that sucked.
  • NeoKef - April 26, 2009 2:25 a.m.

    I remember me and mine friends trying to beat each other on Shaq-Fu. It was who ever pushed the most button under the 2mins.
  • AuthorityFigure - April 25, 2009 1:55 a.m.

    Stunt Race FX is not as bad as all that.
  • ballplayer27 - April 5, 2009 10:28 a.m.

    So wait... Stretch Panic, the terrible terrible terrible game that you are making fun of in this article, is listed as one of the games that we should play before we die on the 59 levels that everyone should play article. eff that. I am not going to intentionally find and play a game that you said is terrible, despite you then immediately saying that I should play it at some point. Bad GR, do not mess with us like that. (And yes I know the 59 levels article admitted this was a bad game and you should only play it to experience the quirkiness, but still, why should we play it if you say it is so shameful the developer would rather it had never happened?)
  • Mrnicelupe - March 8, 2009 7:52 p.m.

    Stretch Panic? Bad? Oh dear, this is just not right Then again, the "Playable tech demo" comment is probably right, but still and good example of what could make a good game!
  • gdubbs359 - March 8, 2009 12:18 a.m.

    Nice Youngblood#1 reference.
  • m_gamer234 - March 6, 2009 2:38 a.m.

    NO...FUCKIN...WAY...LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL....That is so hilarious!
  • Heyexclamationpoint - March 4, 2009 1:35 a.m.

    I actually liked Stunt Race FX, for some reason. I was a dumber kid than I realize.
  • RaIdEn - March 3, 2009 1:04 a.m.

    i heard of shaq fu from that ultimate showdown video

Showing 1-20 of 24 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.