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The Top 7... Outrageously Camp Bad Guys

Solid Snake's secretly superior genetic brother, Liquid was the ultimate evil twin. And let's face it, that's a pretty camp b-movie concept in itself. Holding the other half of the Enfants Terrible DNA, he wasn't merely bad where Snake was good; he took all of the opposing personality traits.

Where Solid was angsty and introverted, Liquid had the demeanour of Patrick Stewart on a coke bender; always riotously theatrical of delivery, extravagant of arm gesture and mugsome of face. Where Solid hid in the shadows, Liquid - particularly in the Gamecube remake - leapt around as much scenery as he chewed, posing on top of anything with even a vaguely flat surface and punctuating every other sentence with a completely gratuitous back flip or somersault, just because he could.

Where Solid was wrapped in dark, constrictive body armour, Liquid demonstrated an abject refusal to ever even wear a shirt, despite Shadow Moses' ball-miniaturising cold. A pair of black leather gloves was alright though. Style over functionality every time with him.

Above: More hammy camp than the piglet Scouts. Glorious stuff.

Liquid reveled in hamming it up like any incorrigible old thesp you could think of, ably aided by a brilliant performance from voice of a thousand geek culture icons Cam Clarke. Without his histrionic, English-accented voice-over, Liquid would have been just another scheming megalomaniac, and his lengthy, self-indulgent speeches simply bland filler in a game already packed with over-written cut-scenes. As it was though, he was one of those bad guys we never wanted to see die. Thank god for prosthetic possession.

Notable also-ran

Low-polygon dictator Sheruda Garo from Namco's original Time Crisis could easily be construed as a budget version of Liquid. Bouffant of hair, remarkably similar of voice and bizarrely sharp of suit for a man in the middle of a major terrorist coup, he was so mincingly unthreatening that he died before the last boss fight and had to hand over the reigns to his hired lackey Wild Dog. But then again, he did insist on bringing a knife to a gunfight, so it was his own fault. Using a blade may fit the elegantly camp bad guy archetype better than an uncouth firearm, but even Liquid had the sense to use a mech when the chips were down.


Number seven ranked assassin Destroyman was basically hero Travis Touchdown gone very wrong. A passive-aggressive nerd with no respectable sense of self image, No More Heroes' "Mr.Cosplay" was like that guy at an anime convention; the big fat dude in the ridiculous costume who thinks he looks great and greets all right-thinking criticism with misguidedly arrogant venom and snark.

He bitched about the people he had to deal with during his day job as a postman, and took out his frustrations in a ludicrous, self-empowering, purple superhero suit. He swung around on a theatrical winch, pretending he could fly. He feigned politeness and honour in order to score cheap hits with an electric hand buzzer, of all pieces of piss-poor weaponry. And to top it all off, he had a gigantic pulsating crotch laser of doom. A crotch laser of doom, people! And machinegun nipples! The poor, sorry bastard didn't have a clue how ludicrous he was, and that posturing lack of self-awareness only made an already camp bad guy doubly so.

Notable also-ran

Bad Girl, NMH's number two is our favourite of the whole lot. A hard drinking, bat swinging, girly-strop throwing psychopath in a frilly pink Lolita dress, she'd fake a sob-worthy injury to get a cheap and brutal instant kill and she spent all her spare time beating the hell out of gimps for fun. Combining exaggerated girliness with childish tantrums and a vicious killer instinct, she was camp, cute and badass all at the same time. She's exactly the kind of girl we'd take home to meet the family, if she wasn't likely to kill them all within half an hour.

Topics

Top 7

39 comments

  • 2cute2Bcruel - September 11, 2010 10:17 a.m.

    Did that guy from No More Heroes have a laser coming out of his crotch?
  • linkganon - March 20, 2010 1:58 a.m.

    by the way, when i entered that kefka link, my pc detected at least one computer threat in it.
  • linkganon - March 20, 2010 1:54 a.m.

    With that kifka laughing link, you could use it on fail topics.
  • crumbdunky - November 3, 2009 7:26 p.m.

    It's all very well going for the obvious cam baddies like this-but there's far more that slip under the , erm, radar. Ones that you might never see the effeminacy over the buff and bravado. F'rinstance Radec in KZ2 is really big old fat Visaris talented gimp boy-hell the preoccupation with Nazi and Gestapo chic make the Helghast ALL a little suspect in that respect. It doesn't stop there. Even the Chimera in Resistance without a hairstyle between them have the camp gene running through their overheating veins!ow do we know this? A big penchant for skin tight leather effect knee length space pants! I put it to you that evil begets camp begets evil. END OF. I could go on and on but won't.
  • noofer7 - November 22, 2008 10:12 p.m.

    the RE4 video was disturbing and cool at the same time.
  • coda_ - November 21, 2008 6:36 p.m.

    panty and boob flashes galore in Street Fighter 2...
  • octagons - November 21, 2008 2:27 a.m.

    where is Adam McIntyre?
  • gatornation1254 - November 19, 2008 12:14 a.m.

    Sander Cohen was great. I didn't know Hitler was killed while prancing around in a giant mechsuit.
  • GR_DavidHoughton - November 18, 2008 6:51 p.m.

    Ravenbom: Fear not, Kefka's marvelous lunacy is timeless, regardless of number of bits.
  • ELpork - November 18, 2008 5:33 p.m.

    Ha, I like Sander, He was a great mad man.
  • Jimmyjammy - November 18, 2008 9:38 a.m.

    As a fan of the original Metal Gear Solid, the stupid flippy crap in the cutscenes from the Twin Snakes makes me want to kill things. What the shit was Snake doing trying to jump at Metal gear rex!?! ARRGH!
  • Sash - November 18, 2008 8:29 a.m.

    I didnt know females could be camp?! I just females were female.
  • DravenX23 - November 18, 2008 7:27 a.m.

    Yes Kefka was my 1st thought too. Kind of surprised none of the Punch-Out guys made it. But I guess most of them were made to be camp.
  • bamit11 - November 18, 2008 2:08 a.m.

    i thought slazar wasgoing to be in it but then i changed my mind and im like well looks like he was
  • Samael - November 17, 2008 11:54 p.m.

    Yay Kefka! I'm also going to go play FFVI again!
  • piccolodevilking - November 17, 2008 11:24 p.m.

    kefka!
  • Corsair89 - November 17, 2008 8:17 p.m.

    As soon as I saw the title, I thought of Kefka. I have never seen a charactor that was so effeminate and freaking awesome at the same time. In fact, I'm off to replay FFVI for the millionth time.
  • ssj4raditz - November 17, 2008 7:11 p.m.

    Gigantic pulsating crotch laser of doom!
  • Hunter2458 - November 17, 2008 6:35 p.m.

    As any good raving fanboy I must correct your Liquid Snake part. Liquid had all the Dominant genes, Solid had all of Liquid's genetics cast-offs. Also, 'Enfants Terrible' If you're translating from the french les'enfants terrible, should just be The Terrible Infants. /end ramble Otherwise, great article as usual :3
  • chrisat928 - November 17, 2008 5:36 p.m.

    How did I know Kefka would be number one? Awesome article.

Showing 1-20 of 39 comments

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