The Top 7... Outrageously Camp Bad Guys

Evil doesn't HAVE to be serious business

It's been said before, but we're going to keep saying it. When compared to Kefka, Sephiroth is exactly as interesting as a dead accountant painted brown. Matt brown.

Think of him as Final Fantasy's equivalent of The Joker (Heath Ledger version, not Cesar Romero), only far, far more dangerous. After an abusive orphanage upbringing, Kefka initially enjoyed a successful life as a decorated general of the Gestahl Empire before an experimental infusion of magic drove him completely and utterly mad in the face. But oh, what a glorious madness it was.

Where lesser Final Fantasy villains would brood and glower (*cough*Grey-haired sword guy*cough*), Kefka launched himself into his work with a genuinely child-like glee. Garishly dressed, smeared with make-up, and always accompanied by the shrill, girlish sound of the greatest bad guy laugh in history, he may not have looked like the biggest threat in the world, but good God was he ever exactly that.

Above: A startlingly in-character convention appearance by now-notorious cosplayer and gameing comedy film-maker CJ Collins.

As Kefka's madness grew, so did his hedonistic nihilism and in turn, the scale of his crimes. Seemingly terrified of a straight fight, he would scamper away from battle squealing like a kicked piglet, but the real danger always came from his bigger schemes. He'd poison an entire city's water supply rather than wasting time trying to attack it. He'd think nothing of screwing with cosmic harmony in order to make himself more powerful, even if the unfortunate side-effect was global apocalypse.

And as his homicidal narcissism evolved into a tantrum-led hate-hate-hatred of everything in existence, he took the only logical course of action and turned himself into a god; forming a religion around himself and smiting the crap out of anyone who wouldn't worship him. All while flouncing around, cackling like a drunken eight-year old and throwing out pithy disdain at anyone less worthy than himself. Which, as he saw it, was everyone.

Notable also-ran

While Alfred Ashford, effeminate antagonist of Resident Evil: Code Veronica, could never hope to match Kefka's scope or ambition, he took a similar stylistic approach to evil. He needlessly dressed in theatrical military garb. He asserted his own importance and put down those around him. He cackled like a loon and minced about everywhere he went. And he naturally gets massive bonus camp points for dressing up as his comatose sister.

Not even Kefka did that. But if he'd had a sister, she would have been in a coma. Because he'd have put her in it. For a giggle.



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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.
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