The Top 7... most nightmarishly bad alternate game endings

Happy endings? Crappy endings, more like

2. Shenmue - It's an ending, that's good enough

Shenmue doesn't have a proper ending because it's just a big fat 'To Be Continued' that lies through its pixelly teeth. But did you know that Shenmue has an alternate, 'Bad' ending? That you actually get to see Lan Di again in the first game after that intro and dream sequence? Check this out…

That is awesome. And really rather sad. Ryo has let vengeance cloud his judgement and he's gone and got himself killed by exactly the same move that killed his father. It's remarkably similar to the start of the game, actually, especially with Fukuharu-san taking another beating. Let's be honest though, someone had to do it…


Above: Just keep your fool mouth shut. Fool

So how do you get this bad alternative ending? By waiting until April 15, 1987 (in the game of course, it's already been a while since the real April 15, 1987). You can get here quicker by repeatedly failing the stealth section near the end of the game, which takes you forward a full day every time you reattempt it. Not that you'd want to get Ryo killed, right? Are you really that desperate for closure?


1. Pikmin -Never leave us

Wait. What!? Pikmin has a bad ending more harrowing, more glum, more despairing and more bad than any of the other games on this list? You'd better believe it. If, like us, you've always thought there wassomething deeply sinisterabout Nintendo's colourful vegetable flower people things, just wait until you see what the little bastards do to cosmonaut Captain Olimar if he fails in his mission to adequately reassemble his broken spaceship. But first, look at some kittens in a log, just to counter the horrible things that you will be subjected to beyond this point.

Lovely kittens in a log. Awww. At first we believed that Pikmin were cute. Friendly and helpful. Wow - we thought - Captain Olimar really lucked out crash landing on this planet. Many hands make light work. All the bits of Olimar's busted-up spaceship would be found in no time at all and - bon voyage - he'll be on his merry way again. But a pervading sense of unease creeps in. The Pikmin are no longer viewed as cute do-gooders, but more as mute, mob-handed gimps stalking Olimar because they're waiting for something. But what? What could they be waiting for...

They were waiting for Captain Olimar to fail so they could turn him into a Pikmin. Only he's not a proper Pikmin. He's some freakish Olimar/Pikmin abomination hybrid mutation. And the Pikmin are positively overjoyed at this outcome. Sick little bastards. It's practically as nasty as having tea with the Leatherfaces. All that's missing is Goodbye Horses playing during the end credits. The horror. Lovely kittens in a log. Lovely kittens in a log. Lovely kittens in a log. Lovely kittens in a log...

April 4th, 2011


Andeverybody lived happily ever after. And half a city was destroyed too. But ignore that





Some surprisingly big games pulled the worst ending ever


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