Ron Jeremy, a mustachioed sphere which somehow became famous as an "ugly man who has a big penis in spite of his looks," attended the Consumer Electronics Show last year. He was about as prepared for this as anyone in porn is for any career event (which is "not at all" and most likely the reason they're in porn). Faced with an anti-pornography activist during a debate he made several mistakes simultaneously.
The first was responding. Come on, guy: she hates porn, and you're Ron Jeremy. You're not going to change her mind or exchange meaningful views (especially since the only view you can offer is of your ridiculous genitals). The second flub was turning it into a fight. The pornographers' motto is "Make Love, Not Any Other Job Skills." Somebody who turns up at crowded events and defines themselves as "Against That Thing Most People Like" is way readier to fight than you, and most soldiers.
The third was turning the fight against an innocent third party by saying that videogames targeted children while porn didn't, and doing that at CES was mistakes three through twenty-seven. Turning the crowd against you AND throwing an easier target under the bus instead of saying "Screw you, and I could do that professionally" demonstrates a serious lack of balls. And make no mistake: videogames are the easier target here. Porn is much more likely to be a closet hobby for the crusty old suits making most of our country’s decisions, and it’s a larger industry. The only reason porn companies don't print money directly is it takes too long and isn't phallic enough.
Above: Can porn and games eventually work together?
Convicted (and, considering his subsequent jail time, unfortunately-named) pedophile Michael Cherry attempted to blame comics and videogames for crimes. His lawyer launched a bizarre defense trying to convince a judge that his client was simply too pathetic to be responsible for his crimes. Unfortunately for Cherry’s legal team, the only thing more pathetic than him was this defense.
Above: On the lighter side of molestation, here's YouTube favorite Sex Offender Shuffle
Congratulations, anti-videogame lunatics: You've actually made games such a scapegoat that even pedophiles now think games are the real bad guy. That's insane. The philosophy certainly didn't help Cherry, probably because it was the most ludicrous defense since the tin foil shield. Probably the only worse legal maneuver would have been putting the judge in a chokehold.
Protip: When your defense is “Yes I did own images of child pornography BUT…” then you already lost your case a long time ago.
Jan 24, 2011
The 10 best moments from the Schwarzenegger v. EMA's Supreme Court oral arguments
Plus, why some of the things people said were a bit… off
Worst dick moves ever pulled on developers by gamers
Spoiled much? Our list of the most ungrateful gamers in history
Game industry bully Timothy Langdell loses asinine "Edge" lawsuit against EA
Edge Games boss finally bites off more than he can chew