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The Top 7… Most absurd Mortal Kombat offshoots

2. Mortal Kombat: Special Forces


Above: lol, faceplant

It’s not your fault, Jax…. How exactly did something that began as a Triple-A aside end up being the lowest point in the in the Mortal Kombat franchise? After a slightly disastrous E3 showing, MK: Special Forces was pulled back for a dramatic retooling. Unfortunately, MK co-creator John Tobias exited the company, and basically left this very needy baby in the hands of Midway stockholders.


Above: God, it could've been so beautiful!

The game was originally supposed to co-star a playable Sonya Blade and feature a "dynamic 3D camera." WOW! But rather than bring on more people to fix the title and deliver on its promise, Midway stripped crucial features, axed the N64 version altogether, dropped cut the price to $20 as a nice way of saying “We know it sucks and we’re sorry” and Jax’s jagged, stillborn Loaded/Final Fight hybrid remains the biggest flop in MK history, both critically and commercially!


Above: Muzzle Kombat

Oh, and we don’t know where or when the bright idea of giving it a Blaxploitation vibe came in, but it’s certainly one of the most bizarre choices you’ll see in MK’s silly, strange chronology. Jax is a bad mother, apparently. Or possibly Austin Powers...



 

1. Mortal Kombat: The Live Tour


Above: Ever seen Scorpion look that bored?

What, you thought Charlie Sheen and Spider-Man invented shitting the stage, kids?! Please understand that by the mid-nineties Mortal Kombat had conquered damn near every medium in the universe, generating about TWO BILLION DOLLARS and cold, bloody beeswax. The games were at the height of their popularity on every conceivable platform, and had been successfully spun off into toys, comics, music, a live-action feature, and a direct-to-video animated movie. Yet there was one medium MK had yet to saturate… THE THEATRE: Get Over Here!


Above: Neither cosplay nor a LARP-about

In the summer of 1996, Scorpion and Co. embarked on a multi city tour of in-your-face jazz karate with Mortal Kombat: The Live Tour and no civic center was safe from the spandex-soaked Punch-capades. If you thought that the movies, TV shows or MK vs. DC nerfed the bloodening, try and imagine the safe-for-families violence that had to be pantomimed and lip-synched by a group of chop-socky actors not good enough to pose for in-game sprites. The storyline is said to have followed close to the events of the game, while also utilizing the audience for a few call-and-response “Finish Hims” and even for kids to hold up plastic Amulets to have been purchased at the event, but had *whoops* yet to be manufactured.


Above: ACT HARDER!

According to Henry Gilbert, the only person in our office with the ironic foresight to actually purchase tickets back then, his family’s plan to enjoy fake Fatalities was all for nothing. When they got there it was clear from the shuttered theater doors that it had been canceled without so much as an email from Shao Kahn. Sadly, video of the performance is scarce but at least we have this hilariously awkward news piece to help us remember it always.

Apr 11, 2011

VIDEO: Cosplaying Kitana pole dances, scores a flawless victory
See Tanya “MsTooney” Jordan’s powerful moves

 


Is MK vs DCU a porno...
…or does the dialog just sound like one?

 


15 years of “FIGHT!"
A video celebration of the word that starts the brawl

68 comments

  • Starwind1985 - April 22, 2011 9:09 p.m.

    I actually remember going to Mortal Kombat Live. I was pissed. It was like a really lame Six Flags stunt show, and to top things off, the actor who played Sub Zero had been hurt so they had a stand-in...a FEMALE stand-in...who they disturbingly had lip sync her lines to a rather deep male voice. o_0
  • SerpentineZERO - April 15, 2011 5:35 a.m.

    God, that last entry is fuckin hilarious, especially the bored Scorpion.
  • ulmxn - April 15, 2011 12:40 a.m.

    Just wondering, can you get the Grid on the PSN or Live Arcade?
  • therawski - April 13, 2011 9:42 p.m.

    "We'll let you live (but you'll lose your job)."
  • city17fan - April 13, 2011 6:15 p.m.

    No wonder Midway went out of business.
  • TheElephantManchurianCandidate - April 13, 2011 12:57 p.m.

    Man that live show interview was hilarious Shang didn't know what he was talking about
  • TheHiFiJedi - April 13, 2011 12:29 p.m.

    All of the live action stuff is soooooo bad. Who, why and how did all that happen. It's awful!
  • Aforextreme - April 13, 2011 7:28 a.m.

    I had forgotten about that MK vs DC video you guys did, but seeing it again, I couldn't stop laughing. Good stuff!
  • TwoFirstNames - April 13, 2011 3:12 a.m.

    Wow! I had no idea about the Special Forces game. That looks teeeeeeeeribble! Eww, no wonder it was $20 dollars.
  • taterboob - April 13, 2011 1:38 a.m.

    Can't wait for the Tdar elaboration. A little aside: I used to fap to that picture of Sonya from Special Forces.
  • Mboy1100 - April 13, 2011 12:16 a.m.

    I'm on a drug, called CHARLIE SHEEN!! Lol.Winning.I wish it was MK vs Marvel....I like spiderman ^_^
  • Pytor - April 13, 2011 12:09 a.m.

    Can I get live action Sonya Blade daughter's number?
  • DeathbyFira - April 12, 2011 11:50 p.m.

    good god the 90s shure had some fing akward times and the live action stuff made me cringe cant even see the damn video that is bad just hope the new movie they are comeing out with doesnt get as akward as this stuff lol
  • Yeager1122 - April 12, 2011 10:56 p.m.

    Wow MK did alot of weird things.
  • ObliqueZombie - April 12, 2011 10:10 p.m.

    That was one of the most awkward videos I've ever seen. I felt flustered and uncomfortable the whole time.
  • foxyexplosion - April 12, 2011 9:33 p.m.

    Great article, next time I see a bond flick start Im gonna say it looks like The mortal kombat: special forces intro.
  • batmanboy11 - April 12, 2011 8:38 p.m.

    Damn, #1 definitely deserved its spot.
  • fetalspray - April 12, 2011 5:42 p.m.

    Say what you want I enjoyed Puzzle Kombat and also the Chess Kombat of Deception, yeh pretty dissapointed chess Kombat didnt make the list though. On another note i couldnt watch that news piece all the way, just too cringeworthy for me to handle.
  • Japanaman - April 12, 2011 5:33 p.m.

    That NBA Jam court looks so sweet. I've always wanted to see an MK Basketball game. Imagine Scorpion going up for a dunk, losing his mask, and setting the hoop on fire. Or Sub-Zero slamming the ball, freezing the entire basketball goal, and shattering it. Even Shaq can't shatter the ENTIRE goal!
  • Cleanser247 - April 12, 2011 4:32 p.m.

    Damn, this is a great Top Seven Chris : ) I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work : )

Showing 1-20 of 68 comments

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