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The Top 7… Most absurd Mortal Kombat offshoots

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5. Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero


Now, no one's saying Mortal Kombat had to stay confined to one-on-one fisticuffery. But in the case of MKM: Sub-Zero, the fans were willing to move into another genre, yet it was the developers who couldn’t completely cut the ties. Released within days of the simultaneously-developed Mortal Kombat 4, the first and last MK solo title couldn’t help but look antiquated next to the franchise’s arcade reinvention. Subby-Z’s origin outing was billed as 3D action/adventure, however, it was fundamentally the same aging game as the 2D fighters, only now shelled in an awkward sidescoller.


Above: The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Sub-Zero the error of his ways

Instead of following a simple destiny shroud like playing MK 1 through 3, you actually had to walk and punch through it?! Nevermind that they had to add a “turn” button just to address the complication of multiple enemies on the right AND *gasp* left, Mythologies will probably be most remembered for its deliciously horrible live-action cinemas.


4. Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe

Okay, look: We hate to revive a dormant flame wars, but this was all kinds of ridiculous and forgettable. There’s nothing flagrantly wrong with the gameplay itself per se, yet this ten-years-too-late response to Marvel vs Capcom ultimately did a disservice to both properties involved… mostly by bothering to give a ludicrous reason as to why these two disparate universes would collide in the first place. Christ, is this premise easy to make fun of, or what?


Above: Boomtube indeed!

Each franchise had to sacrifice something in order to make this game happen, and providing any kind of context could only act as fuel to the fanboy fire. MK had to tone down the violence, inarguably its defining characteristic, just to ensure kids who slept on superhero bed sheets could purchase the game. It was at one time an internal rule at DC that Superman couldn’t bleed in the comics, so it’s pretty strange to begin with that the publisher allowed Kal-El and his Justice League pals to be murdered even in Safe For Work MK style.


Above: Seriously, can you belive this happened?! 

While the MK regulars and DC baddies could do Fatalities, DC’s heroes had to make do with “Heroic Brutalities.” Players watched as Batman or Flash would excessively beat down an already defenseless and subdued opponent, which is every bit as unsportsmanlike as it is oxymoronic. What’s worse, comic fans: Superman getting his ass kicked by Sonya Blade, or his inability to fly away and preserve some Kryptonian dignity? Ultimately the game was Midway’s last major title and couldn’t save the ailing giant from economic failure. Interestingly, the Mortal Kombat property was then purchased by Warner Bros, the same company that owns DC.


3. Motor Kombat


Above: Let's get this Karty started!

Known around the office as “Mortal Kartbat,” this pile of four-wheeled wackiness was a Mario Kart throwaway included in Mortal Kombat: Armageddon. It’s hard to know what to think of this one now… it came in at the tail end of the “Big head, Lil’ Car” craze, and yeah, it sucks to play today. But it should be noted it’s no worse than 90% of all the other Kart clones gamers were forced to endure during that nutty transition from mascot titles to 3D games, and it was tehcnically FREE with the most comprehensive version of MK to date. Mind-bogglingly bizarre or harmlessly cute: You be the judge.


Above: Okay, ya got us! The music’s from Diddy Kong Racing

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68 comments

  • ABACADA6494 - April 12, 2011 1:45 a.m.

    first.... anyways i was just wondering where this was. Yay Top 7...
  • Dabenguin - April 12, 2011 1:50 a.m.

    Nice and punctual Chris, nice and punctual.
  • SlinkyDink - April 12, 2011 1:54 a.m.

    You forgot Shaolin Monks, but i guess it wasn't really all that absurd. Then again I wouldn't say MK VS DC was all that absurd either. SHAZAM!
  • blakebeauchamp - April 12, 2011 1:54 a.m.

    MK got weird. Just realizing this.
  • inSovietRussiaDatesRecallBrettElston - April 12, 2011 1:55 a.m.

    good to see that a 'lets get this karty started' reference made it's way into another GR feature, lol
  • Redeater - April 12, 2011 1:56 a.m.

    Sweet! Just heard about this on T'dar. Was looking forward to it.
  • Spocksjock - April 12, 2011 1:59 a.m.

    To be honest I liked Mortal Kombat vs. DC universe but it was really really odd.
  • Turboash - April 12, 2011 2:07 a.m.

    Wow that news clip was hard to watch.
  • ninjaemperor - April 12, 2011 2:08 a.m.

    I can't wait to hear about the live tour on Tdar this week!
  • juicenpancakes - April 12, 2011 2:25 a.m.

    "Boomtube" has become a regularly used word amongst my friends and I.
  • TheGuy42 - April 12, 2011 2:26 a.m.

    Get Some MK!
  • juicenpancakes - April 12, 2011 2:28 a.m.

    Or *among, in case you aren't from the 18th century.
  • skynetiscoming - April 12, 2011 2:31 a.m.

    I love the stupid grin on the Joker's face while he's getting clocked.
  • mchammer75 - April 12, 2011 2:34 a.m.

    Jesus this might be the best top 7 you guys have done, I had no idea how far the MK series has strayed over the years. The animated stuff is gold as well, please chris, watch the horrible animated crap I'm sure there is plenty to sample from for the podcast: MK the journey begins http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z-Zw1Pi5nc&feature=related
  • MexicAntista - April 12, 2011 2:49 a.m.

    Hahahahaha!!! Oh god! That news piece is hilarious. I love that Baraka is just a guy in spandex and a ski mask. Make some effort.
  • clubsandwich - April 12, 2011 2:53 a.m.

    Yep. my dad totally surprised me one night and trucked my eight-year old ass to the civic center for the Live Action Mortal Kombat thing. It's a little fuzzy, but there were lazers and a smoke machine and kung-fu. Nostalgia Trip. Also, My dad loved it. Also, my dad is a pothead.
  • bviper - April 12, 2011 3:26 a.m.

    The Grid was awesome me and my friends you to kill the crap out of each other on that machine. You c
  • pin316 - April 12, 2011 3:29 a.m.

    holy crap, talk about having zero-personality...that interview was painful. only slightly redeemed by being able to imagine that just after the camera vct, the reporter actually goes on from the pose to crane-kick Sonya Blade
  • iAmARealSuperTurrican - April 12, 2011 3:33 a.m.

    Jesus, I forgot how bad the acting was in the Sub Zero game. Also funny to see Divizio in make-up doing his best acting.
  • BigLandoz - April 12, 2011 3:34 a.m.

    Wow. Just...WOW. The Live Action tour just blows my mind. Great article. A fun read. ------ Recaptcha - 1/EEC Gestop Do I need to show my work on how I got "gestop"?

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