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The Top 7… Most absurd Mortal Kombat offshoots

5. Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero


Now, no one's saying Mortal Kombat had to stay confined to one-on-one fisticuffery. But in the case of MKM: Sub-Zero, the fans were willing to move into another genre, yet it was the developers who couldn’t completely cut the ties. Released within days of the simultaneously-developed Mortal Kombat 4, the first and last MK solo title couldn’t help but look antiquated next to the franchise’s arcade reinvention. Subby-Z’s origin outing was billed as 3D action/adventure, however, it was fundamentally the same aging game as the 2D fighters, only now shelled in an awkward sidescoller.


Above: The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Sub-Zero the error of his ways

Instead of following a simple destiny shroud like playing MK 1 through 3, you actually had to walk and punch through it?! Nevermind that they had to add a “turn” button just to address the complication of multiple enemies on the right AND *gasp* left, Mythologies will probably be most remembered for its deliciously horrible live-action cinemas.


4. Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe

Okay, look: We hate to revive a dormant flame wars, but this was all kinds of ridiculous and forgettable. There’s nothing flagrantly wrong with the gameplay itself per se, yet this ten-years-too-late response to Marvel vs Capcom ultimately did a disservice to both properties involved… mostly by bothering to give a ludicrous reason as to why these two disparate universes would collide in the first place. Christ, is this premise easy to make fun of, or what?


Above: Boomtube indeed!

Each franchise had to sacrifice something in order to make this game happen, and providing any kind of context could only act as fuel to the fanboy fire. MK had to tone down the violence, inarguably its defining characteristic, just to ensure kids who slept on superhero bed sheets could purchase the game. It was at one time an internal rule at DC that Superman couldn’t bleed in the comics, so it’s pretty strange to begin with that the publisher allowed Kal-El and his Justice League pals to be murdered even in Safe For Work MK style.


Above: Seriously, can you belive this happened?! 

While the MK regulars and DC baddies could do Fatalities, DC’s heroes had to make do with “Heroic Brutalities.” Players watched as Batman or Flash would excessively beat down an already defenseless and subdued opponent, which is every bit as unsportsmanlike as it is oxymoronic. What’s worse, comic fans: Superman getting his ass kicked by Sonya Blade, or his inability to fly away and preserve some Kryptonian dignity? Ultimately the game was Midway’s last major title and couldn’t save the ailing giant from economic failure. Interestingly, the Mortal Kombat property was then purchased by Warner Bros, the same company that owns DC.


3. Motor Kombat


Above: Let's get this Karty started!

Known around the office as “Mortal Kartbat,” this pile of four-wheeled wackiness was a Mario Kart throwaway included in Mortal Kombat: Armageddon. It’s hard to know what to think of this one now… it came in at the tail end of the “Big head, Lil’ Car” craze, and yeah, it sucks to play today. But it should be noted it’s no worse than 90% of all the other Kart clones gamers were forced to endure during that nutty transition from mascot titles to 3D games, and it was tehcnically FREE with the most comprehensive version of MK to date. Mind-bogglingly bizarre or harmlessly cute: You be the judge.


Above: Okay, ya got us! The music’s from Diddy Kong Racing

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68 comments

  • Starwind1985 - April 22, 2011 9:09 p.m.

    I actually remember going to Mortal Kombat Live. I was pissed. It was like a really lame Six Flags stunt show, and to top things off, the actor who played Sub Zero had been hurt so they had a stand-in...a FEMALE stand-in...who they disturbingly had lip sync her lines to a rather deep male voice. o_0
  • SerpentineZERO - April 15, 2011 5:35 a.m.

    God, that last entry is fuckin hilarious, especially the bored Scorpion.
  • ulmxn - April 15, 2011 12:40 a.m.

    Just wondering, can you get the Grid on the PSN or Live Arcade?
  • therawski - April 13, 2011 9:42 p.m.

    "We'll let you live (but you'll lose your job)."
  • city17fan - April 13, 2011 6:15 p.m.

    No wonder Midway went out of business.
  • TheElephantManchurianCandidate - April 13, 2011 12:57 p.m.

    Man that live show interview was hilarious Shang didn't know what he was talking about
  • TheHiFiJedi - April 13, 2011 12:29 p.m.

    All of the live action stuff is soooooo bad. Who, why and how did all that happen. It's awful!
  • Aforextreme - April 13, 2011 7:28 a.m.

    I had forgotten about that MK vs DC video you guys did, but seeing it again, I couldn't stop laughing. Good stuff!
  • TwoFirstNames - April 13, 2011 3:12 a.m.

    Wow! I had no idea about the Special Forces game. That looks teeeeeeeeribble! Eww, no wonder it was $20 dollars.
  • taterboob - April 13, 2011 1:38 a.m.

    Can't wait for the Tdar elaboration. A little aside: I used to fap to that picture of Sonya from Special Forces.
  • Mboy1100 - April 13, 2011 12:16 a.m.

    I'm on a drug, called CHARLIE SHEEN!! Lol.Winning.I wish it was MK vs Marvel....I like spiderman ^_^
  • Pytor - April 13, 2011 12:09 a.m.

    Can I get live action Sonya Blade daughter's number?
  • DeathbyFira - April 12, 2011 11:50 p.m.

    good god the 90s shure had some fing akward times and the live action stuff made me cringe cant even see the damn video that is bad just hope the new movie they are comeing out with doesnt get as akward as this stuff lol
  • Yeager1122 - April 12, 2011 10:56 p.m.

    Wow MK did alot of weird things.
  • ObliqueZombie - April 12, 2011 10:10 p.m.

    That was one of the most awkward videos I've ever seen. I felt flustered and uncomfortable the whole time.
  • foxyexplosion - April 12, 2011 9:33 p.m.

    Great article, next time I see a bond flick start Im gonna say it looks like The mortal kombat: special forces intro.
  • batmanboy11 - April 12, 2011 8:38 p.m.

    Damn, #1 definitely deserved its spot.
  • fetalspray - April 12, 2011 5:42 p.m.

    Say what you want I enjoyed Puzzle Kombat and also the Chess Kombat of Deception, yeh pretty dissapointed chess Kombat didnt make the list though. On another note i couldnt watch that news piece all the way, just too cringeworthy for me to handle.
  • Japanaman - April 12, 2011 5:33 p.m.

    That NBA Jam court looks so sweet. I've always wanted to see an MK Basketball game. Imagine Scorpion going up for a dunk, losing his mask, and setting the hoop on fire. Or Sub-Zero slamming the ball, freezing the entire basketball goal, and shattering it. Even Shaq can't shatter the ENTIRE goal!
  • Cleanser247 - April 12, 2011 4:32 p.m.

    Damn, this is a great Top Seven Chris : ) I really enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work : )

Showing 1-20 of 68 comments

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