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The Top 7... Loading screens that don't suck quite as hard as loading screens normally do


1) FIFA 11

EA kick-started (groan) the generation with the idea of the interactive footie arena at the very start of the game and preceding each match. It's a simple concept - just you, the ball, a goal and goalkeeper. It lets you dribble the ball around and pull off insane displays of ball control before hammering a shot home past the goalkeeper as many times as you like without ever actually playing any of the main game. With replays too!

Of course, as soon as the match begins, all these skill moves become completely forgotten because the game just doesn't seem to act the same when the match has started. But in terms of keeping us entertained while the game loads its polygons, there's always a slight sense of 'aww, do we have to?' when the 'PRESS START TO PLAY' message flashes up. Especially as the fully loaded stadium and crowd appear magically with barely a pause, making the damn thing look even better than it did already. Come on, just one more shot…

The intellectual analysis:
The football connoisseur will appreciate the level of detail in the trick animations, the tightness of the hit boxes, fluidity of the physics and more than likely comment on how this one-v-one multiplayer mode strips football down to its purest form, creating a microcosm of everything that's great about the world's favourite sport. 

The layman's analysis:
A park kickabout without the risk of dog poo.


Right. Now we've seen the word 'loading' so many times, it's lost all meaning, so we'll load it there and let you load. Loading!

Loaded on 20 Jun, 2011

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Top 7

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51 comments

  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - June 20, 2011 10:01 a.m.

    >>The Top 7... Loading screens that don't suck quite as hard as loading screens normally do Hahaha nice concept
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - June 20, 2011 10:05 a.m.

    >The Top 7... Loading screens that don't suck quite as hard as loading >screens normally do Hahahaha nice concept
  • shadowreaper72 - June 20, 2011 10:05 a.m.

    Firsties!!! I feel so proud of myself lol!!!
  • shadowreaper72 - June 20, 2011 10:05 a.m.

    Firsties!!! I feel so proud of myself lol
  • Clovin64 - June 20, 2011 10:16 a.m.

    The long PS3 loading times in Bayonetta can actually be seen as a positive? Who would of thought?
  • sternparez - June 20, 2011 10:28 a.m.

    haha I was about to moan "where is FIFA?" It's good that a brit did this Top 7, good call!
  • Mooshon - June 20, 2011 10:31 a.m.

    Invader load made c64 gaming so much better. Before that it was just waiting on a pixel art title screen to build line by line, if you were lucky. Great days...
  • Threesome - June 20, 2011 10:35 a.m.

    How about Assassains Creed? Bayonetta copied there from there ( ] o,____o,)]
  • ranzatsu - June 20, 2011 11:03 a.m.

    The loading times in Portal 2 were shit, but I honestly think seeing the Aperture logo (SPOILER: or the Wheatley logo) fade in was pretty cool.
  • shadowreaper72 - June 20, 2011 11:19 a.m.

    DAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNN!!!! I fail.
  • Tomkins - June 20, 2011 12:04 p.m.

    If you press select on 360 while loading Bayonetta it lasts for as long as you want it to.
  • Lemming - June 20, 2011 12:24 p.m.

    I always thought the No More Heroes loading screen was designed for the easily amused. Figuring out the right combination of buttons until the loading star spins the opposite direction via optical illusion.
  • RichieIRL - June 20, 2011 12:50 p.m.

    Definitely agree with the Bayonetta loading screen. I took a bit of a break from playing for a few weeks and when I went back into it the practice screens were perfect to catch up a bit on some of the stuff I had forgotten.
  • SonicX_89 - June 20, 2011 12:57 p.m.

    The second I saw the picture of the door from Resident Evil I thought of the Muppets Party Cruise. TDar has taken over my life.
  • rxb - June 20, 2011 1:04 p.m.

    I cant lie Justin, I made sure I read this feature just to make sure Ridge racer was on the list, but now I have read it I think it should have been number 1. Im sure you know that completing the Galaxian screen unlocks more cars in the game, therefore making it relevant too.
  • Asmodean - June 20, 2011 1:06 p.m.

    What no 8-Bit Game Heroes? What's better then 8-bit versions of classic title art.
  • flabslapper - June 20, 2011 1:07 p.m.

    Wow I'm actually able to contribute to this one! Test Drive for the PS2 had Pong during the loading screens, where if you decided to play, you could have a full blown match with two players even after the game was finished loading, all you had to do was hit start after you were bored of Pong and it took you right to the racing
  • HereComesTheHypeTrainCHOOCHOO - June 20, 2011 1:12 p.m.

    I quite enjoyed the Killzone 2 loading screens where you can rotate them with the sixaxis motion controls in the dualshock controller. Simple but satisfying.
  • edtrotter - June 20, 2011 1:13 p.m.

    Very disappointed to not see Wave Race: BlueStorm make this list!
  • BigWillis - June 20, 2011 1:17 p.m.

    I remember Die Hard Arcade had a submarine game in it, can't remember if it was part of a loading screen or just a secret.

Showing 1-20 of 51 comments

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