Imagine you're a frightened, fragile teenage girl who's been kidnapped by supernatural forces you don't understand and thrown into the past to confront dead serial killers. So far you've evaded, faced down and destroyed a lumbering man-hulk with an executioner's hood and a sledgehammer, a maniac in a gasmask who hunted you with a hose full of acid and a shirtless Marilyn Manson lookalike with a hatchet.
Now think: what's the scariest thing that could top off that experience? Whatever it is, it sure as hell isn't this:
So Clock Tower 3's idea of horrific killers is a brother-and-sister team of acrobatic ninja-harlequins with no pants? Maybe pancake makeup and high-pitched voices trigger some deep, primal fear in the Japanese psyche, but we couldn't quite bring ourselves to be afraid of these two Dynasty Warriors rejects, no matter how hard we tried. It didn’t even matter that we were playing as a skittish, easily murdered girl; somehow, we felt so innately superior to these clowns that it was impossible for our brains to register them as anything more than a temporary irritation.
Above: Pretty damn scary
Above: Not even a little scary
But Resident Evil is infamous for another reason: its hilariously bad voice acting and script. If you've ever heard the lines, "You, the master of unlocking," or "STOP IT! Don't open! That door!" or even "You were almost a Jill sandwich," then you've tasted the true horror of Resident Evil.
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