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The Top 7… least scary moments in scary games: Redux


Clive Barker's Undying is overall a pretty frightening game, pitting players against a wide array of cultists, monsters and undead horrors in suitably creepy ruins, crypts and English moors. But there are few things that can make you feel more comfortable with the idea of facing down horrific beasts than having a big, powerful weapon that roars and obliterates anything stupid enough to stand in front of you. That goes double if it's magic, and Undying gives you a big, powerful, magic gun tipped with a roaring golden dragon head – called the Tibetan War Cannon, no less - so close to the beginning of the game that we still wonder if it was left lying around by mistake.


Above: BLIZZAM, BITCHES!

How are you supposed to be afraid of monsters when you've got a roaring, ice-breathing dragon head sticking out of your crotch? Anything that so much as pokes you with a stray tentacle is going to be dust. Your ice-crotch will kill it dead.




Just what the hell is this supposed to be?

No, seriously, what is it? An aborted dinosaur fetus? A restless chicken spirit, out to take revenge for countless pot pies? It doesn’t really even attack, so much as threaten to rub itself against us in a really gross way. And thinking about how its skin must feel gives us the heebie-jeebies, but they’re more the kind of heebie-jeebies that make us want to wash our hands.

Are we supposed to be afraid of it? We don't know, we're asking you.


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Halloweek

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39 comments

  • ryno - January 4, 2009 2:03 a.m.

    in..... the original..... RE... they...sound... like... William Shatner
  • vdaymassacre - March 14, 2009 6:06 a.m.

    Lol'd at "no seriously what is this?" :D
  • Phantasmagorical - March 14, 2009 10:23 a.m.

    What...? Yes, I'm finally looking at GR articles and reading them. Give me a break! I'm not scared or frightened when it comes to playing games. It merely comes down to an occasional feeling of tension, apprehension about what's to happen next. I do jump from the occasional jump-out scare, though..
  • MrWordman - April 25, 2009 5:39 a.m.

    LOL the Silent Hill 3 thing. It sounded like it wanted to take a shit and needed your help. You weren't spposed to kill it, just help its dinosaur ass, drop some logs.
  • Jenkle21 - May 8, 2009 5:44 p.m.

    Dr.Salvador FTW
  • lava_lamp - October 27, 2008 8:15 p.m.

    pyramid heads rocks so does suntrust bank
  • jar-head - October 27, 2008 8:50 p.m.

    lol good stuff, keep em cummin!
  • oryandymackie - October 27, 2008 8:55 p.m.

    I..erm...kinda..got a BIT scared when that statue came towards me. I thought I'd have to fight it, which I was cool with, but then it started moving!!!
  • georgeguy - October 27, 2008 9:31 p.m.

    these are pretty funny...
  • benjitenji - October 27, 2008 9:41 p.m.

    i wonder why you didnt give a heads up to the SH series's UFO endings, those are equally nofunny and not scary as the dog ending, espically SE:H's, oh wheeler, you loveable twit.
  • Kerfluffle - October 27, 2008 10:20 p.m.

    I think the part where its inferred that Sander Cohen is gay or that if you kill him in Apollo Square and then burn his Quadtych he will resurrect and try to kill you again in BioShick is pretty unscacy since hes a mass murdering psychopath. Or maybe it just makes his powers more frightening o.0
  • bron1417 - October 27, 2008 10:46 p.m.

    way to bring back a classic article and make it beter. funny guys.
  • Valandil - October 28, 2008 12:10 a.m.

    That last video made me laugh alot!
  • Defguru7777 - October 28, 2008 2:40 a.m.

    Two things that will never scare me: Resident Evil's voice acting and the Salazar statue. One thing that does scare me: a sequel to Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg.
  • Cynwyddon - October 28, 2008 5:49 a.m.

    DENNIS!
  • crustdbeat - October 28, 2008 8:50 a.m.

    The point of clock tower was to feel that you had no chance at all if you were caught, none of this torturing crap. Snippy time!
  • Y2Ken - October 28, 2008 10:05 a.m.

    I remember this. Nice updating though, and well done on the two-year mark for your top 7s.
  • Thequestion 121 - October 28, 2008 7:49 p.m.

    That was good.
  • KHfan - October 29, 2008 1:20 p.m.

    i thought the numb bodies where bloody scary
  • NelosAngelos - October 30, 2008 9:47 p.m.

    If something like the Numb Bodies started walking (waddling?) up to me, shit that would be scary. I hate that crying whining sound they make. But when you look at it, they aren't too bad. They are about half your size, no mouth full of razor sharp teeth, no arms or even hands to strangle you or hit you, it's just the fact that at first you don't know what the hell they might do to you if you let them get close.

Showing 1-20 of 39 comments

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