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The Top 7… least scary moments in scary games: Redux

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Resident Evil 4 not only revolutionized the RE series - it changed perceptions of what a survival-horror game could be. But like all the other games in this article, even it had moments when mind-blowing terror gave way to abject stupidity. And nothing was more stupid than sawed-off little villain Ramon Salazar, the arrogant castellan who went so far as to make a giant statue carved in his own image:


Above: Right, like we didn’t see this coming six miles away

It was obvious just from looking at this thing that it was eventually going to chase us, so when it finally broke free from its moorings and lumbered in our direction, we couldn't keep from laughing. It was a little creepy, maybe, but in the middle of a game filled with mutant insects, giant parasites and berserker chainsaw murderers, it wasn't exactly scary.




Of all the twisted creatures encountered across the six Silent Hill games, the silent hunter known only as Pyramid Head left the biggest mark on gamer psyches. Voiceless and faceless, he'd appear at inopportune times throughout Silent Hill 2, his presence announced only by the scraping of his big, big knife on the floor.


Above: Remember, kids – Pyramid Head hates you

When you confront him for the last time, you'll have that knife in your possession, and you'll be ready to shove it up his undead ass for all the times he popped up and tried to murder you. And you’ll apparently have two chances to do it, because he’ll double-team you with a spear-toting clone of himself. Sadly, your revenge ends up kind of empty; while you can deal some damage, the killing blow doesn’t come until the Pyramid Heads get bored and kill themselves in unison. That's kind of terrifying, we guess. In a completely non-terrifying way.

 


(And before you complain, we're not counting the infamous dog ending, because it's intentionally not scary. That's just too easy.)

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39 comments

  • ryno - January 4, 2009 2:03 a.m.

    in..... the original..... RE... they...sound... like... William Shatner
  • vdaymassacre - March 14, 2009 6:06 a.m.

    Lol'd at "no seriously what is this?" :D
  • Phantasmagorical - March 14, 2009 10:23 a.m.

    What...? Yes, I'm finally looking at GR articles and reading them. Give me a break! I'm not scared or frightened when it comes to playing games. It merely comes down to an occasional feeling of tension, apprehension about what's to happen next. I do jump from the occasional jump-out scare, though..
  • MrWordman - April 25, 2009 5:39 a.m.

    LOL the Silent Hill 3 thing. It sounded like it wanted to take a shit and needed your help. You weren't spposed to kill it, just help its dinosaur ass, drop some logs.
  • Jenkle21 - May 8, 2009 5:44 p.m.

    Dr.Salvador FTW
  • lava_lamp - October 27, 2008 8:15 p.m.

    pyramid heads rocks so does suntrust bank
  • jar-head - October 27, 2008 8:50 p.m.

    lol good stuff, keep em cummin!
  • oryandymackie - October 27, 2008 8:55 p.m.

    I..erm...kinda..got a BIT scared when that statue came towards me. I thought I'd have to fight it, which I was cool with, but then it started moving!!!
  • georgeguy - October 27, 2008 9:31 p.m.

    these are pretty funny...
  • benjitenji - October 27, 2008 9:41 p.m.

    i wonder why you didnt give a heads up to the SH series's UFO endings, those are equally nofunny and not scary as the dog ending, espically SE:H's, oh wheeler, you loveable twit.
  • Kerfluffle - October 27, 2008 10:20 p.m.

    I think the part where its inferred that Sander Cohen is gay or that if you kill him in Apollo Square and then burn his Quadtych he will resurrect and try to kill you again in BioShick is pretty unscacy since hes a mass murdering psychopath. Or maybe it just makes his powers more frightening o.0
  • bron1417 - October 27, 2008 10:46 p.m.

    way to bring back a classic article and make it beter. funny guys.
  • Valandil - October 28, 2008 12:10 a.m.

    That last video made me laugh alot!
  • Defguru7777 - October 28, 2008 2:40 a.m.

    Two things that will never scare me: Resident Evil's voice acting and the Salazar statue. One thing that does scare me: a sequel to Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg.
  • Cynwyddon - October 28, 2008 5:49 a.m.

    DENNIS!
  • crustdbeat - October 28, 2008 8:50 a.m.

    The point of clock tower was to feel that you had no chance at all if you were caught, none of this torturing crap. Snippy time!
  • Y2Ken - October 28, 2008 10:05 a.m.

    I remember this. Nice updating though, and well done on the two-year mark for your top 7s.
  • Thequestion 121 - October 28, 2008 7:49 p.m.

    That was good.
  • KHfan - October 29, 2008 1:20 p.m.

    i thought the numb bodies where bloody scary
  • NelosAngelos - October 30, 2008 9:47 p.m.

    If something like the Numb Bodies started walking (waddling?) up to me, shit that would be scary. I hate that crying whining sound they make. But when you look at it, they aren't too bad. They are about half your size, no mouth full of razor sharp teeth, no arms or even hands to strangle you or hit you, it's just the fact that at first you don't know what the hell they might do to you if you let them get close.

Showing 1-20 of 39 comments

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