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The Top 7... Lamest party games

1) THE NINTENDO WII

How you know it’s a “party”: Um, have you checked out the Wii shelf at your local game store lately? Not just a cursory glance, but actually walked up close and absorbed the full library of titles?

The lame reality: Frightening, right? What was once the proud new home of gaming’s most beloved mascots has – over the past couple of years – devolved into a nightmarish wasteland of cheap, casual crap with lazy concepts and even lazier design. We’re not talking merely bad ports or family friendly fare here… we’re talking about super depressing stuff like Neighborhood Games, Carnival Games and Pong Toss: Frat Party Games. Sure, Mario’s still in there somewhere, but you’ll have to dig through a glut of terrifying titles like Family Party: 30 Great Games and Six Flags Fun Park to rescue him. Both Link and Samus are around, too, but right next to both Go Play Lumberjack and Go Play Circus Star.

Don’t let the familiar white packaging fool you; these things have more in common with the free PC browser apps made popular by bored receptionists everywhere than with the granddaddies of Nintendo party games, Mario Party and WarioWare. We know they’re not published by the famous company itself, but come on… whatever happened to quality control? Each of these cost a gullible, unsuspecting parent at least $20, and often much more. It’s a scam, masquerading as classic Nintendo fun.

Worst excuse for a minigame game: If we had to choose a single Wii party game to represent the whole sorry lot, this would be the obvious winner…

Game. Party. Really? You simply flipped the genre’s two-word name and called it a day? Oh! And made enough money to justify a Game Party 2 and a Game Party 3, huh? Well, isn’t that something… could you please excuse us while we go punch ourselves in the faces to help make the pain go away? Thanks.

60 seconds (from multiple Wii games) to ensure you’ll never ever play…

Oct 12, 2009


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72 comments

  • Jacob816 - October 12, 2009 3:12 p.m.

    None of these are as bad as my new party game, Tween Super Excitement Jam: Ultra Party Mega Box of Family Fun: Xpress Edition.
  • AaronTheGamingGeek - October 12, 2009 3:12 p.m.

    the wii just got owned. Fisrt.
  • CheeseFiend - October 12, 2009 3:15 p.m.

    Dear god, this is bad. At least the guy game had boobies. Apart from that then 17 year-old
  • CheeseFiend - October 12, 2009 3:17 p.m.

    Dear god, this is bad. At least The Guy Game had boobies. Apart from that then 17 year-old
  • CheeseFiend - October 12, 2009 3:18 p.m.

    Sorry I put that comment twice. Fail13 tull
  • Xplosive59 - October 12, 2009 3:26 p.m.

    how come most of these happened in the ps2 era
  • silvereye - October 12, 2009 3:47 p.m.

    I loved the monopoly party game, and I know it is the law that a 17 year old getting naked is technically child pornography but its not like she was 5 or something, and I think she did end up sueing the company for the game anyway. Im probably wrong, just my opinion.
  • WayByWind - October 12, 2009 3:47 p.m.

    ads before almost every video, but brilliant article nonetheless
  • CombatCat120 - October 12, 2009 3:55 p.m.

    the industry was full of licensed shit like this back then. the party genre has significantly dropped in numbers to only 2 consoles instead of all of them: the Wii n DS. Those were some dark days indeed.....
  • CatrParrot - October 12, 2009 4:31 p.m.

    The second I read the headline, I knew Game Party would be at the top of this list. Prediction: Game Party 3 will sell at least half a million copies in it's first week.
  • axis56 - October 12, 2009 4:46 p.m.

    completely agreed. theres only approximately ten titles that justify the wii ownership.
  • FlyinMX - October 12, 2009 5:10 p.m.

    'Warning: These are so annoying, so pointless and so unplayable that the maraca-shaking asshole couldn’t even make the cut." You mean me?
  • AA95mp - October 12, 2009 5:42 p.m.

    the girls flashing it in the guy game must be pretty desparate to get famous or just flash.
  • AA95mp - October 12, 2009 5:47 p.m.

    the amount of wii party games are scary and there's more!
  • DirkSteele1 - October 12, 2009 6:14 p.m.

    While reading pages 1 through 3, I was sitting there slightly puzzled as to the where abouts of a Wii game, only to break out in laughter on page 4. Great article.
  • Cyberninja - October 12, 2009 6:35 p.m.

    ill defend the wii and i sadly was given 2 crap games with my system but since i dont play party games i am safe and i just think all the gems are worth the system
  • Romination - October 12, 2009 6:36 p.m.

    i'm right there with dirksteele. i was highly confused and then saw that and it all made sense suddenly...
  • haford - October 12, 2009 6:37 p.m.

    I'm so ashamed to say it, but.... i have the monopoly game, :/ it is quite possibly the worst game ever.....
  • Corsair89 - October 12, 2009 7:11 p.m.

    *vomits*
  • mastersword369 - October 12, 2009 7:28 p.m.

    I kept my Wii when I bought my Xbox 360. Just wait for Galaxy 2 and the next Zelda game, nintendo fans.

Showing 1-20 of 72 comments

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