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The Top 7... Irritating female characters


Annoyed us in: Daikatana (PC/N64, 2000)

Mikiko has the misfortune of starring in one of the most thoroughly thrashed and widely hated PC games of all time, but that's really the least of her problems. She's also faintly hideous, she chatters in a generically accented dragon-lady voice and tends to get stuck when trying to navigate tight spaces. Oh, and she also gets infected with a plague virus, forcing her stereotypical compatriot Superfly Johnson to carry her limp form through a hefty chunk of the game, and she eventually turns out to be Daikatana's final boss. (SPOILER ALERT: If you're one of the five people who actually still intend to play Daikatana to completion, we apologize for ruining your appreciation of its horrible plot just now.)


Above: We couldn't have said it better ourselves, HURR HURR HURRRRR

Worst of all, she has the self-preservation instinct of roughly half a gnat. On more than one occasion, we fired a proximity mine in the general direction of our enemies, only to watch helplessly as Mikiko inexplicably ran over to it, stood on top of it while it beeped at her and got herself blown up. And then we'd have to start that section of the level over again, because our heroes just couldn't bring themselves to go on without Mikiko's chatterbox observations that something smelled funny.


Annoyed us in: Grand Theft Auto III (PS2/Xbox/PC, 2001),
GTA: San Andreas (PS2/Xbox/PC, 2004)

For all its cutting-edge awesomeness, the Grand Theft Auto series has produced some remarkably annoying women over the years. GTA III gave us shrill, manipulative Maria, for example, while GTA IV introduced the twin whirlwinds of clingy desperation and soulless vanity that were Kiki Jenkins and Carmen Ortiz. But out of the series' entire cast of gangsters, lowlifes and sociopaths, none have been quite as persistently horrible as Catalina.

We were first introduced to Catalina at the beginning of GTA III, when she betrayed then-boyfriend Claude and left him for dead before going on to become the game's final boss. But her real moment came years later, in San Andreas. Here, we got the full brunt of Catalina's awful, abusive personality, learning firsthand that spending five minutes with her was about as pleasant as eating hot sand. To make matters worse, she had to go and decide that protagonist Carl "CJ" Johnson was her new boyfriend, which was really just an excuse to constantly screech at him for imagined infidelities.


Above: It says something that one of GTA's most enduring and successful villains is a woman. We're not sure what it says, exactly, but it's something

It doesn't matter that Catalina was written to be irritating - what matters is that it worked. By the time we were done with her missions, it was enough to make us want to boot up GTA III and blast her back to hell all over again.


Annoyed us in: Assassin's Creed (360/PS3/PC, 2007)

Have you played Assassin's Creed for any amount of time? Then you've probably been unlucky enough to attract the attention of one of these aggressive panhandlers. One moment, you'll be plodding slowly through the streets of Jerusalem or Acre, trying to keep a low profile, and the next, she'll be running around in front of you, determinedly getting right in your way and insisting you give her free money.

We don't know what makes this woman think that Altair, a man with a hidden face and a visible arsenal of blades, even has any money. But she's apparently convinced he has a lot of it, because she won't shut up, get out of the way or take "I'm running away from you now" for an answer. Worse, her persistent squawking tends to attract attention from guards, which in turn can blow Altair's cover.

She's a menace, a nuisance and a gargantuan pain in the ass. But if you shove her, punch her or silently knife her to death, suddenly everybody hates you. Really? We didn't see them stepping up to help her out, the callous bastards.

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58 comments

  • suaue - August 15, 2014 5:24 a.m.

    I can't take your list seriously at all. It just comes off as objectifying when it could have come off as something worth reading. I looked up "Best female characters" - got no article. I looked up "most irritating male characters" - again, nothing from GamesRadar. So it seems to me that you're just adding to a stereotype that most women would really like to change rather than coming from a clean perspective where you're equally voicing opinions for and against female characters as well as for and against male ones.
  • leonnasagawa - January 19, 2011 4:13 p.m.

    I disagree that Navi is more annoying than the Beggar lady. I hated that chick so much! She interrupted an assignation mission I had by jumping in the way when I pressed the assassination button which in turn assassinated her, made me have to start the mission again but not before I had to fight all the guards that were alerted to my presence. Honestly what were the creators thinking! I would have been happy if she just begged for money on the same spot but for reasons I can't fathom she decides to only move off her spot and harass Altair.
  • ThundaGawd - January 17, 2011 7:34 a.m.

    the lady in assassins creed also throws rocks at you if you try to climb a building to get away from her -.- Also, don't forget Farah in the first Prince Of Persia. As soon as a fight would start, she'd yell "PROTECT ME!" and sprint headlong into a horde of sand zombies to fight at close range with a bow... dumb b*tch.
  • AznNguyen72 - August 10, 2010 8:10 a.m.

    Don't forget that the beggar lady also threw rocks at you when you ran away and started climbing a nearby building just to avoid her. I mean seriously! just because Altair doesn't give money to you doesn't mean he's going to give it to you after you throw rocks at him!
  • mrmorozov987 - June 1, 2010 2:56 a.m.

    I was severely disappointed when I met Ashley in Resident Evil 4. Seeing how kick-ass and original the game had been to that point, I assumed she'd be a unique and strong character, continuing the game's record of ass-kicking and uniqueness. I met her and carried on as I had before. Shoot him in the head, grenade over there, knife that crate... "HEEEEELP!!! LEON!!!" After clearing a roomful of enemies, I missed one, and he carried her to the door. Now I have to do it all over again. F*** YOU!!! (Okay, so she ducked when you were in aiming mode. Have a cookie.) And, of course, the one time I wanted to show off the game to my friends, I had saved right before Ashley's playable part. Thanks, Capcom. (That said, Resident Evil 4 is still the best sixth-console-generation that was made. Have a truck-full of cookies, Capcom)
  • FNG - April 13, 2010 9:23 p.m.

    I can't believe they forgot to mention that if you try to climb a building to get away from the beggar lady she throws F****** rocks at you. That's why i ALWAYS KILL THEM BITCHES!
  • Alcibiades - March 8, 2010 9:44 p.m.

    ashley is a biatch in the first game and even more of a biatch in the second game, should have just killed her off imo.
  • RanTheAwesome - February 19, 2010 11:56 a.m.

    No annoying male characters? Too bad, because I can name over 100 male characters that have annoyed the shit out of me in games. Wow, how sexist you guys are. It's fucking disgusting.
  • BloodBarrage - December 15, 2009 6:16 p.m.

    Oh my God, Navi is annoying as hell! And I always kill the beggar lady from Assassins Creed lolz
  • Ricochet3438 - December 5, 2009 4:37 p.m.

    when a beggar woman came up to me i would just climb a rooftop to escape hahahahah suck on that beggar woman!
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 4:12 a.m.

    Navi's voice could become the world's most effective & annoying car alarm.
  • Ollieevil - November 14, 2009 10:58 a.m.

    Navi and Ashley are both annoying pains in the ass luckly you can kill ashley UNLESS SHES IN THAT GOD DAMN SUIT OF ARMOUR THATS ALWAYS CLANKING!!!!
  • pascal828 - December 3, 2008 3 p.m.

    Beggar lady from Assassin's creed is Really annoying! she Trows rocks at you when u want to climb! tht sucks... xD
  • Red-Fox - November 28, 2008 3:46 p.m.

    I disagree. They should have put Mariah from The Elder Scrolls: Redguard. Ubelievably annoying!!!!!!
  • thephntm - November 22, 2008 5:46 p.m.

    I hate Navi/Tatl/Celia. PS my Captcha says oil bunting.
  • ryno - November 21, 2008 10:23 p.m.

    in Assasins creed if ever a begger lady bothers me i punch her in the face
  • Dyakki - November 19, 2008 12:15 a.m.

    LOL. Men. No annoying guy characters?
  • pieman215 - October 11, 2008 12:23 a.m.

    If you want to see what Navi deserves, watch the youtube video Random Sprite Toons 7.
  • afrosamurai3838 - October 1, 2008 2:16 a.m.

    Ashley Graham is so fucking stupid
  • BooyaBuda - September 28, 2008 3:26 a.m.

    man the begger lady i would just stealth kill her i dont care abut synch the bicth is annoying i also thought it was ridiculas that the guards could parcore

Showing 1-20 of 58 comments

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