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The Top 7... inanimate objects


 

None of the other items on this list are weapons. We wanted to avoid them as much as possible, otherwise we'd end up with a collection of "the best power-ups ever," like Quad Damage in Quake or the bat morph in Symphony of the Night. But then we remembered the bafflingly named Screw Attack, and how happy its simplistic "S" design made us each time we found it. Who wouldn't freak out about acquiring a power-up that lets you somersault through the air while encased in electricity, not to mention hover through the air indefinitely? It's not just cool to look at, either - the Screw Attack is crucial to gameplay and more importantly, a blast to use. This guy clearly loves it:



The Screw Attack earns bonus points for one more reason: it was omitted from Metroid Prime, the series' big comeback. Metroid fans had to wait 10 years, from '94 to '04 to see it brilliantly translated to 3D. Upon seeing it again, many a Metroid player simply couldn't wait to put it to use. Let us pray it never leaves us again. It just wouldn’t be a Metroid game without it. Snake needs his box, Samus needs her Screw.

Eating crow: Even though we vowed to avoid weapons, Gordon Freeman's crowbar is too iconic and beloved to ignore. Despite being the first weapon you receive, it's your only defense for some time, creating a strong bond between inanimate club and scared-shitless scientist.

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24 comments

  • Cwf2008 - December 14, 2008 7:37 a.m.

    Companion Cube is a hundred times better than that dam shoe...everyone loves the Cube!
  • po0pdawg - December 24, 2008 2:59 a.m.

    were the hell can i find the meat cube
  • Pensuke - January 2, 2009 1:57 p.m.

    im still mourning over the WCC. *sniff* This article brings back some BAD memoriez. but its freakin' hilarious!
  • killemall - February 26, 2009 7:35 p.m.

    I WANT A COMPANION CUBE CAKE! please...
  • bigpoppachain - August 1, 2009 1:44 p.m.

    lol voodoo i think ur friend is giving you hints
  • stuzimuzipuzi - February 2, 2009 7:58 p.m.

    do you guys love that car from street fighter
  • halifaxia - June 9, 2009 7:41 p.m.

    I love wcc... it's always number one in my heart
  • vigeoman - July 7, 2009 3:53 p.m.

    hahaha i love the shoe
  • kamikaz3e124 - July 26, 2009 5:58 a.m.

    As you see in this default picture here, the companion cube is still alive... playin on my X-Box 360. Me:"Hey, are you done playing yet?" WCC:"..." Me:"Darn..." Me:"Oh well, maybe next time." WCC:"..." Me:"Yeah I love you too."
  • Smeggs - September 17, 2009 6:07 p.m.

    Oh, the porn magazines, jesus that take me back. I rememeber putting them all over the ground, and then blowing up a gaurd. Another gaurd turned around "HUH? What's that noise?" He walks three steps, notices the magazine next to him, and completely ignores the fact that his buddy just rose to a higher plain of existence.
  • Burn - September 1, 2008 7:36 p.m.

    Love that shoe...
  • VoodooPanda - September 2, 2008 7:04 a.m.

    Hate the Companion Cube. My friend is obsessed with it. "It takes hits for you like a good friend would, you can use it as a step, and it will go anywhere with you without complaining." Thats his reasons why its awesome. But I think if it doesnt explode or shoot something then its useless to me.
  • iiscody - September 26, 2008 2:05 a.m.

    only the completely useless items are any good. WCC is my favorite. i played portal multiple times just to use it for 10 minutes. but all of the other objects made a huge impact on my life too...
  • NullG7 - September 29, 2008 11:28 p.m.

    I love that giant shoe I have played the game a few times just to hop around in it like the guy in the video
  • xReptar - October 26, 2008 6:34 p.m.

    I'm surprised the WCC wasn't first.
  • Nin10DOH - September 1, 2008 11:54 p.m.

    the box was the most important Metal Gear Solid item ever
  • kamikaz3e124 - October 26, 2008 8:06 p.m.

    I wish the WCC was first. I dont know why, but im obsessed with it.
  • thephntm - December 2, 2008 5:36 p.m.

    still laughing at the cosplayer in kuribos shoe!
  • FanofSaiyan - December 5, 2009 2:20 a.m.

    Ahh the smash ball, the "tide turner" of Brawl. There's no telling how many matches have been decided by who gets that precarious little orb.
  • FanofSaiyan - December 5, 2009 2:23 a.m.

    You'd think with all the Mario sports games, kart racers, party games, and sequels to the main series that they couldn't have Kuribo's Shoe make a single reappearance.

Showing 1-20 of 24 comments

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