The Top 7... impractical characters

1. Apharmd (Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram)
Dreamcast | 2000

Giant robots blasting the crap out of other giant robots is a solid gold idea. It's been done to death, but no matter how many times the concept gets shoveled out, we'll be ready to play. What's not so great is when people try to dress said robots.

Apharmd here is a 50-foot-tall fighting robot... in camo pants. Camouflage helps things blend in with their surroundings. What possible environment could a towering, gun blasting robot use to hide? Oh, sorry, didn't see you there, you five story-tall bastard. We also didn't hear your van-sized gears and motors whirring from miles away. Oh wait, no, we did hear and see all that, because you're as big as King freaking Kong.

You could argue that he's not wearing pants, that it's just a paint job designed to intimidate the other robots. Even if that's true, you don't see the armed forces painting aircraft carriers and B-52s in jungle camo. It's just plain silly. And, on top of everything else, Apharmd has a robot buzz cut. Come on.

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Top 7


  • Cwf2008 - November 29, 2008 4:17 a.m.

    Im not sure that the B-52s were painted in camo but i know that in Vietnam the F-4 Phantoms were painted in jungle camo...altough i doubt that camo did much against North Vietnamese SAMs
  • tehbarbar - December 9, 2008 12:43 a.m.

    I'm glad that someone has taken the time to talk about Disgaea, but come on, the Prinnies are awesome. Wouldn't you want a servant that was basically a penguin that you could throw at other people and they'd blow up on contact? That sounds quite practical to me, haha.
  • SirBonkers - November 18, 2008 9:17 p.m.

    Funny article. By the way, I hate to tell you, but B-52s along with many other USAF fighter aircraft were painted with modified forest or jungle camo through the first gulf war. I'm just saying.......
  • richomak27 - September 8, 2008 5:18 p.m.

    alpharmed looks quite cool camo pants or not
  • Arehexes - January 21, 2009 3:20 p.m.

    I had to make a account to post on this one. F' YEAH PRINNIES haha. I love those buggers, one prinny took out almost the whole room when I threw it.
  • vdaymassacre - March 14, 2009 6:24 a.m.

    I never liked those animals in Tekken... but hey what the hell.

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