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The Top 7… Games you don’t want for Christmas 2010


2. James Bond 007: Blood Stone (360, PS3, PC)

Your good-intentioned relative thought:  Everyone’s talking about a new James Bond game, right? This must be it. And it’s got Daniel Craig on the cover, so it must go along with that new Bond movie I haven’t heard about.

Why you don’t want it: Trying to enjoy Blood Stone is like trying to squeeze that first word from the second one. You'd rather have a new Bond film, even if it were only as good as Quantum of Solace. Not only do you not get that, you get a mediocre game.

It seems like Activision dumped this license on Bizarre Creations to find an excuse to shut the studio down, because something went horribly wrong. Yeah, we included Blur, another Bizarre game, on this list, but not because it was bad. It was good. This one was bad.

Instead of taking the time to explain why it's bad, which would be boring, here:

hey guise nice waterfall.

y u no hear me? I says nice waterfall.

u mad?

oh hey keanu reeves.

u sad keanu?

...

EVERYBODY SAD.

DISCO.

UNCA UNCA UNCA UNCA

Unless… You’ve got a thing for Joss Stone likenesses with microfiber skin.

Ill sex u.

u has protection?

POKER FACE.


1.  Power Gig: Rise of the SixString (360, PS3)

Your good-intentioned relative thought: It’s that music game, with the instruments. It comes in a big box and it’s expensive. Sold!

No, you know what? They weren't thinking. They just weren't thinking.

Why you don’t want it: The game is bad. The instruments are really bad. Even the box art is bad. And who the hell decided "six-string" should be one word with intercaps?

You wanted Rock Band 3, obviously.

Unless… You hate games, music, and life.


Above: Herpa derpa drumma


MEANWHILE, IN BLOOD STONE...

U AGAIN!

kill him with bees.

...

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Dec 20, 2010

The Top 7... Worst games of 2010 (so far)
Let's pray this is as bad as it gets

 

 

The Top 7... games so bad they had to add breasts
This game's busted. Let's add some boobs

 

 

Great concepts, bad games
Taking a look at games that had brilliant ideas, but just didn't hold their own in the gameplay department

115 comments

  • Slayer11496 - December 5, 2011 7:46 p.m.

    alan wake awesome, lmao for 007 "poker face"
  • CanadianBeaverHunter - January 1, 2011 3:20 p.m.

    I can't say anything bad about Blur. Maybe my vision is blurred from playing it so long, but I loved it.
  • shadowreaper72 - December 25, 2010 1:39 a.m.

    I completly disagree about Alan Wake. Sure u may get a crap load of ammo so it feels more like a shooter than a survival horror but bring in the awesome Stephen King like storyline, intense dark atmosphere, and a fat dude named Barry who provides comic relief, and this game is golden! As for the rest yeah ill agree with ya there.
  • Hydrohs - December 25, 2010 1:04 a.m.

    I laughed so much at the Blood Stone entry. And the the Power Gig entry. Fantastic work, Tyler.
  • Felixthecat - December 24, 2010 9:02 p.m.

    Pictures of Samus is enough to convince me. I'm off to buy Other M now.
  • AndyGiff93 - December 24, 2010 4:44 p.m.

    Haha, brilliant
  • Sukharevskaya - December 23, 2010 9:19 p.m.

    GooodNESS! the bloodstone part is frickin hilarious.
  • egregious - December 23, 2010 8:05 p.m.

    I still have yet to progress past Channel 2/Episode 2/Scene 2/Act 2/Zone 2 of Alan Wake. Whoops. I asked for NFS: Hot Pursuit. A winner is me?
  • ensabahnur - December 23, 2010 3:36 p.m.

    You hsould just do entire articles like the bloodstone section. Hilarious.
  • wastedspace - December 23, 2010 3:20 p.m.

    TYLER Y U NO VIDEO TOP 7??????
  • YoshiAteMyBaby - December 22, 2010 9:51 p.m.

    Oh Tyler...you've been spending too much time on 4chan, haven't you? Actually this article made me shudder because a few of the things listed are close to what I always get from my well-meaning dad. Other things on the list (like Alan Wake) are perfect examples of games I'd actually love to get because I've bought most of the games I really wanted already for the year and I enjoy getting something for Christmas that I'm interested in but not interested enough to buy for myself.
  • BarbwireTino - December 22, 2010 6:29 p.m.

    That's what you little sister looks like? That old guy it the Santa Hat playing the kinect? Sad.
  • nai1210 - December 22, 2010 3:54 a.m.

    good article,enjoyed it,what i'm not enjoying is xboxwarriorx is this guy real,or is someone having a laugh?
  • jesusfrk15 - December 22, 2010 2:11 a.m.

    gamesradar fell into the rage comic trend... for shame
  • soren7550 - December 22, 2010 1:10 a.m.

    Holy christ, the Blood Stone pics are hilariously epic! I think I found my next wallpaper.
  • Clovin64 - December 22, 2010 1:01 a.m.

    Blood stone pics made me lol, hard. Also, I'd like to mention that I'm not getting any game-related gifts for Xmas. I just wanted socks.
  • ViolentLee - December 21, 2010 10:30 p.m.

    Alan Wake's on my Top 10 list this year. Unless you absolutely NEED nonstop action, you'll enjoy it.
  • humpiedumpie - December 21, 2010 9:37 p.m.

    Don't agree with Alan Wake, the article was fun though :)
  • FNG - December 21, 2010 8:49 p.m.

    Newfag
  • RichieT1000 - December 21, 2010 8:48 p.m.

    That GT5 video was hilarious! I disagree with Alan Wake though.

Showing 1-20 of 115 comments

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