The Top 7… Games you don't want for Christmas 2009

4. Star Wars The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes (360 and PS3)

The slow rape of treasured memories continues this year with the awkwardly titled action game, Star Wars The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes. Because we love the movies so much, there’s a part of us that wants to like the worst Star Wars games. So it’s disappointing that Republic Heroes was so bad that we couldn’t even give it a bit of a break.

This abominable addition to the Star Wars universe succeeds in ruining any fun you might have had hacking and slashing your way through waves of enemies with a lightsaber. The combat is boring and the awkward camera angles make it all too easy to fail at traversing narrow gaps with your jumping Jedi. Maybe team Lucas can work some of its revisionist magic on this shoddy action title by adding more CG banthas into the backgrounds of its tedious levels. It couldn’t hurt, right?

Above: With the help of advanced digital technology, we were able to place three copies of Republic Heroes into this stock photo 

What you should do if you got this for Christmas: If you manage to get a refund, pick up the complete season of the Star Wars: The Clone Wars 2D animated series on DVD, but NOT the more recent 3D series. If you haven’t already seen it, it’s great - and will make you realize how truly badass General Grievous and Count Dooku really were thanks to its many amazing action scenes.

3. Anything from the Imagine series (DS)

It’s tough being a girl gamer. Just ask GamesRadar’s own Paul Ryan. That’s why a little piece of us dies every time we visit our local GameStop, where titles from Ubisoft’s Imagine series line the walls of the DS game section. Games like Imagine Cheerleader, Imagine Makeup Artist, and Imagine Dream Wedding feed young gamers a steady stream of shallow wish fulfillment. The overall message being that with a little imagination, you can be a pretty cheerleader who grows up to be a professional makeup artist before you marry some asshole so you can quit your career.

Above: Let’s imagine a world with no “girl” games

What you should do if you got this for Christmas: Confirm whether or not this was meant to be an ironic gift. If it wasn’t, your new mission in life is to shatter the limited expectations the gift giver has for you every chance you get. We imagine that you’ll be glad you did. Then again, you probably don’t want to be taking advice from someone who writes about videogames for a living.


Top 7

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  • JabbaScript - December 31, 2009 8:59 p.m.

    Reflex isn't really that bad. Sure, it's crap compared to the real game, but if you only have a wii, it's pretty kickass.
  • TheWebSwinger - December 27, 2009 1:11 a.m.

    You're a cynical one, Mr. Nagata
  • Ravenbom - December 23, 2009 9:49 p.m.

    Damn it Tyler Nagata! I already put these on my X-mas list!
  • jackthemenace - December 23, 2009 8:12 p.m.

    I've just realised my sister REALLY wants RIDE! she's a total non-gamer though. may i just say that mushroomer REALLY needs to learn that they're just games!v although, if they're wii game,s they are still generally really bad. no offence nintendo, but get your act together and STOP MAKING THINGS WITH "WII---" IN THE TITLE! and @defguru- i totally agree with your little twilight hatred! my girlfriend made me watch new moon, and i was SO happy when it finished i was laughing. but the end WAS pretty shit tho, so i was laughing anyway. also, nice mushroomer insult. i very much think he WOULD like some ice for that burn.
  • noobeater - December 23, 2009 12:09 p.m.

    @defguru hah, kick his ass
  • Yeager1122 - December 22, 2009 11:09 p.m.

    Thank god im not again any of these the only thing these games are good for is something to pratice shooting at.
  • idlemindkiller - December 22, 2009 6:12 p.m.

    @ mushroomer dont be such a whiny bitch.
  • ChrisAntistaSmellsLikePizza - December 22, 2009 5:58 p.m.

    I disagree with # 1. You said "Even if you don’t own any current-gen consoles besides a Wii, you already know that Reflex Edition can’t hold a candle to the proper versions of Modern Warfare or Modern Warfare 2" I highly doubt a casual 45 year old business man dad is gonna know jack sh*t about anything having to do with COD4, whatever version you play. Obviously this is just my opinion, but I think if you’re a Wii owner that already owns Metroid Prime 3, of MP Trilogy, then they should check this out. I played, and as a PS3 and 360 owner, obviously it doesn't hold up to the more agile console versions, but, wait for it . . . .for a Wii game . . . it's not half bad in a sea of rubbish. Again, all my opinion, and I did enjoy the rest, screw the imagine series in the face, with a hot iron rod.
  • Smiffy99 - December 22, 2009 1:41 p.m.

    I agree, the 2D Clone Wars were awesome, Tony Hawk Series, is in fact dead, and the Wii should stop shooting itself in the foot by making these garbage remakes. Oh, and one more thing... I HATE twilight. They ruined vampires as we know them! When was the last time you were impressed by some sparkly emo kid, huh? And what's even worse, they're probably going to make another twilight game, because this one is gonna sell so well with the millions of pathetic twilight fans out there. You know who you are. You disgust me. (And no, twilight doesn't even deserve a capital letter)
  • SausageLozenge - December 22, 2009 12:55 p.m.

    Tyler you have gone too far! Sesame Street is great. And if your not "cool" if your on it, then nothing is cool. Every major celebrity, comedian, or musician have made cameos on Sesame Street. So recant, I say! Viva La Jim Henson!
  • narutofreak1 - December 22, 2009 5:04 a.m.

    thanks for the heads up
  • Cwf2008 - December 22, 2009 4:46 a.m.

    Whats wrong with MW:R anyway? Sure its inferior, but its a decent Wii game. And i would think that abommination known as the Imagine series would be #1
  • Defguru7777 - December 22, 2009 4:33 a.m.

    @Mushroomer I hope Santa leaves a sense of humor under your tree!
  • Defguru7777 - December 22, 2009 4:30 a.m.

    I agree with waynski1457 about Star Wars: The Clone Wars (though I think I liked the movie a bit more than he did). But the 2D series was amazing. I just wish I had Part 1 in addition to my Part 2. Well, I do know who Bella is. But in my defense, I only know what I know about Twilight to hate it more. And isn't hate what the holidays are about? I'm kind of surprised you guys didn't recommend House of the Dead: Overkill in addition to Extraction. You guys really love that game. aguilanthony is right. You guys have bagged on MW:R a lot since it came out. Is it that it's really that bad, or it's just that bad compared to MW on 360? Oh wait! I can read the review! Huzzah!
  • bloodyshadow - December 22, 2009 3:22 a.m.

    So... what you're saying is we should get these BEFORE Christmas?
  • Gameguy94 - December 22, 2009 1:51 a.m.

    Good job at recommending the 2-D Star Wars DVD those are truly awesome!
  • DriveShaft - December 22, 2009 12:33 a.m.

    Thank God I've trained everyone not to get me games for Chistmas.
  • Mushroomer - December 21, 2009 11:23 p.m.

    Wow. Just wow. I know that you guys have a serious fetish for pissing on Wii games, but now you're letting it interfere with what should otherwise be a solid article. A good "Worst games of the year" list, shouldn't just be predictable casual titles like Twilight or Imagine. No, you should be taking this as a chance to dig around and find TRUELY miserable games. Failures like Rogue Warrior, or Guitar Hero : Van Halen. Games that are actually intended for our audiences, not just games that you happen to think are are boring and childish. Nobody that reads this site is actually going to RECIEVE Scene It : Twilight, so why bother talking about it? Oh, that's right. Because you think you're hilarious for talking smack about something popular. Even if it doesn't make a damn bit of sense in context. Same with Imagine - nobody here is going to get one of them, so there's really no point in listing it. You did make some decent choices though - ones that are actually relivant. Ride? It's been a bit overdone, but certainly deserving. Band Hero? It's possible that a music game fan could spot it under the tree, so I'll call it a positive addition. Super Hero Squad? Now you're just acting like a horde of angry Marvel fanboys. But I assume in a stretch, some nearly-blind grandmother could pick it up, knowing how much you love "That Spider Man fellow". Though since even grandmothers are able to percieve that you don't give a teenager an E-rated game, I'll call it a Bullshit addition. Republic Heroes? Geeks like Star Wars, so I'll give this one a pass. But it's after here that you lose all sense of originality. As I said - not even a blind great aunt who only knows the vague location of where the video game section is in Wal-Mart will end up buying the average GamesRadar vistor a copy of "Imagine : Ice Skater". Plus, they've been around for the past two years - are you simply too unoriginal to look for something from this year - IN A DAMN YEARLY LIST? That would be like me saying America's Next Top Model is the worst show of the year. Sure, it's bad - but I'm not really who they're trying to entertain, and it's been on for the majority of the decade. I already called you out on Scene It : Twilight, which I'm confident is only there so the writer could release the same rage that I've been seeing everywhere for the past year. And finally there's Call of Duty : Modern Warfare : Reflex. It would've been a smart edition, IF THE GAME WAS ACTUALLY BAD. The writer even admits at the beginning that it got a decent 7/10, yet completely ignores that fact, and makes it seem like cyanide compressed into a disc. Think about this from the perspective of somebody who only owns a Wii - Shocking, they do exist. It's a pretty fun & addictive online multiplayer game. If you owned two consoles, I suppose it'd be a shitty gift - but not deserving of a Top 7 list. I like you GamesRadar. You have clever ideas on how to talk about gaming - but you've let it become clogged with basic fanboy-level console bashing. It's disappointing.
  • jackthemenace - December 21, 2009 11:01 p.m.

    i'd do ANYTHING to write about games for a living! and GR are making fun of themselves for doing it? I LOVE these guys!
  • lovinmyps3 - December 21, 2009 10:12 p.m.

    Haha, Twilight! XD