The Top 7... Games we wish we didn't love


Loved by: Official Xbox Magazine Senior Editor Dan Amrich

Game makers like to think that if you take two good concepts and smash them together, you'll make twice as much money. Reality has proven time and again that when you take two good games and smash them together - say, Grand Theft Auto and Twisted Metal - you get often get crap. And one such piece of crap is Roadkill.

As Mason Strong, a guy driving an El Camino with a machine gun in the back, you roll up in the town of Lava Falls, your first stop in the "massive living world of Hell County." The opening cinema shows a hooker in a corset and high heels (and not much else) spewing vulgarity; that should give you a pretty good idea of what's to come. Just add a ton of bullets and blood and you've got your next 10 hours of gameplay.

Above: You get out on the road, and you kill. Hence, Roadkill. Questions?

Mind you, the game does deliver on its promise: it's a big open environment with GTA-style missions and lots of car combat like Twisted Metal. It also delivers majorly cheesy accents in the voice acting, and a weird selection of music (on selectable radio stations, natch) from third-rate rock bands and hip-hop guys you've never heard of. Maybe the choices were supposed to be ironic, but dammit, it's fun to run over pedestrians to the strains of "Don't Fear The Reaper" - especially when those pedestrians then cling to your bumper, thanks to rudimentary ragdoll physics. It's a morbid, B-grade slasher film that gets off on its own irreverence, and honestly, it's hard not to get sucked in. The developers really committed to the concept of being completely splattery and unabashedly unoriginal.

History has already forgotten Roadkill, despite its best efforts to be super shocking and burn itself into the annals of history. (It got close...  just remove one of the Ns.) If it weren't for the intentionally over-the-top language and violence, the game would not even be a footnote. Ultimately, there were a lot of games that ripped off GTA, from its style to its violence to its structure... and this was one of them.

"I love car combat as a genre. I'm also a big fan of swearing and morbid humor. That's enough to make me put up with the blantant rip-offs, the single-entendre dirty jokes, the cheesy heavy metal and the frustrating mission difficulty. I simply like sick jokes that much." - Dan


Top 7


  • CuddlyBomber - December 8, 2008 6:55 a.m.

    Ohhh I loved Roadkill too!
  • Danomeon - March 17, 2009 5:28 p.m.

    I remember loving P.N.03 back when I was a wee kid and I didn't really see the flaws. I saw, "she kills robots!" and nothing more. Fortunately I was intelligent enough to navigate myself to any new legend of zelda game that realeased.

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