Google+

The Top 7… Games that kicked America’s ass

2 - Resistance

How bad did they get us? After basically eating Russia and Europe like a light snack, the Chimera – an alien army but also a human-mutating virus – take over America easily. They invade from the east and west, bringing in absolutely enormous airships, mechanized walkers and even a Godzilla wannabe (pictured above, eating Chicago). We get to see the invasion as it takes place in (yet again) San Francisco and man, does the Chimera lay the smack down. It’s properly intimidating the way SF gets swept under the flood of ships and soldiers, with hero Nathan Hale having to bail out frantically. So how bad does it get? Well, Resistance 3 starts off with the US completely lost to the Chimera – it’s a wasteland inhabited by all kinds of alien horrors. So yeah, they got us pretty bad.


 

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? Well sure, but we failed miserably. Nathan Hale manages to take down Goliath walkers, a sea monster called the Kraken, one of the humungous battle ships, that mega monster from Chicago known as the Leviathan and even the supposed leader of the Chimera, Daedalus. Despite facing certain “doom” in that he has the Chimera virus inside him, Hale manages to get a nuke into the center of the Chimera air fleet. Yet in the end, before Nathan can succumb to the virus, new protagonist of the series, Joseph Capelli, puts a bullet in his brain to allow him to die as a human. So despite kicking all kinds of extraterrestrial ass, Hale ends up dead and couldn’t stop the total takeover of America. Ouch.


1 - Metal Wolf Chaos

Long time readers know we’ll use just about any excuse to talk about Metal Wolf Chaos, so this is bit tricky. Yes, technically America’s getting its ass kicked, however, you’re the one doing the ass kicking… which is your God-allotted right, given you’re playing as THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

How bad did they get us? Metal Wolf Chaos cuts deep... Although the game released in 2004 as a Japan exclusive, all of the events are exclusively American, in English, set in around 2010… heavy, political shit man. Hilarious, if you can still remember the Bush/Cheney administration. Anyhoo, in the past-future, unemployment, civil unrest and domestic terrorism are on the rise. So Vice President Richard Hawk does the only logical thing and declares all-out war on President Michael Wilson using the entire US military!

Did we proudly stand up and defend her?


Above: Yep!

Don’t feel too bad for Pres. Wilson. Luckily, he’s got an armored mech equipped with missiles, railguns, and sniper rifles with which to mow down the military across through the country, from Washington DC all the way to Las Vegas. And - oh yeah - SPACE! Let’s ignore that the most patriotic game EVER came straight from, and was released exclusively in The Land of the Rising Sun. There’s a far more important question to ask here: Is kicking America’s ass wrong/illegal if the President’s the one doing the ass kicking?!


So, why no Modern Warfare 2? It’s true that America is invaded by… sigh, Russia, again, but compared to everything else on this list, the actual destruction and demoralization is light. Despite all its well-choreographed carnage, in MW2 we never really lose control of the country, not even a single city. Disputes, battles, missiles, bullets, bodies, all that happens, but we repel the invasion pretty quick. But Modern Warfare 3? Sorry New York, you’re back in the crosshairs.


 

Jul 4, 2011

 

Top 7… Fictional presidents
The all time greatest Kings of Democracy

 


Political terms redefined by videogames
Use the Radical Republican’s Filibuster to beat the Deficit Hawk

 


10 co-op games that actually require cooperation
Being a team player has its benefits

Topics

Top 7

54 comments

  • Skykid - July 28, 2011 4:32 p.m.

    This is my Homefront reaction: Welcome to America you Commie b*****s! Here is some good old fashoned ass whoopin'!
  • soren7550 - July 19, 2011 2:34 a.m.

    Still surprised that MW2 wasn't on the list. The battle at D.C. still chills me, as does the reveal of a war torn D.C. in the Infamy trailer.
  • therawski - July 6, 2011 7:36 p.m.

    Metal Wolf Chaos! Does anyone know how to play this stateside?
  • oni - July 6, 2011 4:54 a.m.

    I've played Freedom Fighter on the PC and fell in love with it. Still waiting for a sequel here. Instead IO gave us Mini Ninjas. No sure how to comment on that.
  • 435 - July 5, 2011 11:53 p.m.

    Freedom Fighters deserves a higher place on this list.
  • lilspooky - July 5, 2011 11:46 p.m.

    Wow in the future there are no homeless in SF! Awesome Vanquish! No! You cant have a dollar!
  • Shinespark428 - July 5, 2011 9:58 p.m.

    "They attack via a surprise invasion of Seattle, effectively preventing both Starbucks and Grunge music from ever taking off." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But seriously, grunge actually started around the mid-80s or so, and Nirvana wasn't technically from Seatle (look it up).
  • grappler51 - July 5, 2011 8:26 p.m.

    This makes me want to go back and play World in Conflict again, I never finished it. Also liked homefront a lot, it needs a sequel!
  • BrunettePride - July 5, 2011 7:36 p.m.

    I'm pretty surprised Crysis 2 isn't on here! Seeing the SOL's head smashed into the floor and... well a couple of other spoilery things was pretty crazy.
  • AirickG - July 5, 2011 6:51 p.m.

    Well if World in Conflict stopped grunge from happening it can't be all that bad for America now can it?
  • MeanwhileGuy - July 5, 2011 3:23 p.m.

    Thorouhgly entertaining Top 7 as always, though I'm surprised by the lack of Crysis 2, given that the entire game takes place in an alien-decimated New York. Hell, Modern Warfare 3 is practically stealing the entire opening sequence.
  • philipshaw - July 5, 2011 12:57 p.m.

    Great Top 7 and I remember playing a demo of the number 1 game but it never came out here. I still want to play it, HD remake campaign begins now
  • SausageLozenge - July 5, 2011 11 a.m.

    Can't wait to hear some Metal Wolf Chaos on T-dar this weekend.
  • Hobojedi - July 5, 2011 8:39 a.m.

    Saddened by the lack of Red Alert.
  • CitizenWolfie - July 5, 2011 8:29 a.m.

    "America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat?" I think I speak for all Brits when I say we're just biding our time...
  • JachAnen - July 5, 2011 8:07 a.m.

    How about Red Alert 2 or/and 3?? Other than that, great list. And I'm hoping they'll make another Freedom Fighters game.
  • Robusken - July 5, 2011 7:56 a.m.

    Still want to play Metal Wolf Chaos one of these days. The idea itself just seems so badass.
  • Dman3981 - July 5, 2011 4:45 a.m.

    "Despite being involved in dozens of wars over its 200 years of life, America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat?" Must we keep forgetting about the War of 1812? Is that not considered a real invasion, I mean your White house was set on fire.
  • Yeager1122 - July 5, 2011 4:13 a.m.

    Agreeing with several other peolpe in that fallout 3 would have been a good adttion not that these werent all great choices but America defintley got fucked up in that.
  • Gameguy94 - July 5, 2011 3:13 a.m.

    What about Fallout. Granted the Chines didn't exactly invade, but getting the Nuked right the fuck up should count. I mean in Fallout 3 the White House is a crater with the Capitol Building occupied by genetically altered humans.

Showing 1-20 of 54 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.