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The Top 7… Games that kicked America’s ass

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Despite being involved in dozens of wars over its 200 years of life, America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat? The truth is, it’s not as impossible as we’d like to think, and the imagery of our own cities under siege is one of the easiest ways movies and games can get our American blood a-burnin’.


 

So, seeing as we’ve already covered fireworks and rabidly patriotic games, we figured we’d celebrate this Fourth of July with a list of games where America gets its ass kicked… and then naturally makes a last minute comeback to win the day.


7 - World in Conflict

How bad did they get us? Dude, so bad, I mean look at that box art, Lady Liberty hasn’t looked that tore up since Planet of the Apes. World in Conflict’s story is one of them highfalutin “Alternate History” type dealies that posits a 1989 in which the Commie Soviet Union decides to kick America’s ass instead of just rolling over and accepting the beauty of Coca-Cola and McDonalds. They attack via a surprise invasion of Seattle, effectively preventing both Starbucks and Grunge music from ever taking off. After catching us with our drawers around our ankles, the National Guard has to turn tail and evacuate the city, lest they be subjected to them dirty Red’s weird ideas about class equality and the boo-jah-wah-zee.

Makin matters even stickier is the fact they got secret Soviet Spetsnaz soldiers lurkin’ in New York, who plan on attacking the city with chemical weapons. The real kicker though? They’ve got the chemical weapons stashed inside the Statue of Liberty. Man that’s messed up, even for them low down Ruskies.


 
Above: These tears don't fear

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your ass we did. A squad of rough and ready Rangers takes back Liberty Island from the Commies and saves the day on the East Coast. Things are a bit more hectic back in Seattle though, and to prevent those yellow bellied Lenin lovers from pushing any deeper into the good ol’ US of A, the Army is left with only one option: Let the disgraced Captain Bannon redeem himself by delaying the Russians just long enough to drop a big ole tactical nuclear strike on all of them. Thanks for the Cher-“noble” sacrifice Captain Bannon, this Bud’s for you.


6 - Freedom Fighters

How bad did they get us? In yet another piece of revisionist gaming, the Soviet Union drops the world’s first atomic bomb – not Hiroshima or Nagasaki, but on Berlin. With its might unquestioned, the USSR balloons across the globe, usurping Great Britain and several other countries. Eventually the Red Army sets its eyes on the US, invades New York City (leave the poor place alone!) and proceeds to stomp its way across the country – unless a rag tag group of freedom fighters can stop ‘em!


Above: Better dead than Red 

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your buck o’ five we did. Even after Mr Jones, one of the resistance’s key informants, reveals himself as the friggin’ head of the KGB, the remaining US fighters rearm, reload, regroup, man up, cowboy up and Hulk out until they retake Governor’s Island and push the Commies back to the Mother Tundra. How exactly that frees the rest of the country isn’t clear; maybe they all just gave up? Either way, ‘Murca rises to the occasion and wins the day.

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54 comments

  • Skykid - July 28, 2011 4:32 p.m.

    This is my Homefront reaction: Welcome to America you Commie b*****s! Here is some good old fashoned ass whoopin'!
  • soren7550 - July 19, 2011 2:34 a.m.

    Still surprised that MW2 wasn't on the list. The battle at D.C. still chills me, as does the reveal of a war torn D.C. in the Infamy trailer.
  • therawski - July 6, 2011 7:36 p.m.

    Metal Wolf Chaos! Does anyone know how to play this stateside?
  • oni - July 6, 2011 4:54 a.m.

    I've played Freedom Fighter on the PC and fell in love with it. Still waiting for a sequel here. Instead IO gave us Mini Ninjas. No sure how to comment on that.
  • 435 - July 5, 2011 11:53 p.m.

    Freedom Fighters deserves a higher place on this list.
  • lilspooky - July 5, 2011 11:46 p.m.

    Wow in the future there are no homeless in SF! Awesome Vanquish! No! You cant have a dollar!
  • Shinespark428 - July 5, 2011 9:58 p.m.

    "They attack via a surprise invasion of Seattle, effectively preventing both Starbucks and Grunge music from ever taking off." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But seriously, grunge actually started around the mid-80s or so, and Nirvana wasn't technically from Seatle (look it up).
  • grappler51 - July 5, 2011 8:26 p.m.

    This makes me want to go back and play World in Conflict again, I never finished it. Also liked homefront a lot, it needs a sequel!
  • BrunettePride - July 5, 2011 7:36 p.m.

    I'm pretty surprised Crysis 2 isn't on here! Seeing the SOL's head smashed into the floor and... well a couple of other spoilery things was pretty crazy.
  • AirickG - July 5, 2011 6:51 p.m.

    Well if World in Conflict stopped grunge from happening it can't be all that bad for America now can it?
  • MeanwhileGuy - July 5, 2011 3:23 p.m.

    Thorouhgly entertaining Top 7 as always, though I'm surprised by the lack of Crysis 2, given that the entire game takes place in an alien-decimated New York. Hell, Modern Warfare 3 is practically stealing the entire opening sequence.
  • philipshaw - July 5, 2011 12:57 p.m.

    Great Top 7 and I remember playing a demo of the number 1 game but it never came out here. I still want to play it, HD remake campaign begins now
  • SausageLozenge - July 5, 2011 11 a.m.

    Can't wait to hear some Metal Wolf Chaos on T-dar this weekend.
  • Hobojedi - July 5, 2011 8:39 a.m.

    Saddened by the lack of Red Alert.
  • CitizenWolfie - July 5, 2011 8:29 a.m.

    "America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat?" I think I speak for all Brits when I say we're just biding our time...
  • JachAnen - July 5, 2011 8:07 a.m.

    How about Red Alert 2 or/and 3?? Other than that, great list. And I'm hoping they'll make another Freedom Fighters game.
  • Robusken - July 5, 2011 7:56 a.m.

    Still want to play Metal Wolf Chaos one of these days. The idea itself just seems so badass.
  • Dman3981 - July 5, 2011 4:45 a.m.

    "Despite being involved in dozens of wars over its 200 years of life, America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat?" Must we keep forgetting about the War of 1812? Is that not considered a real invasion, I mean your White house was set on fire.
  • Yeager1122 - July 5, 2011 4:13 a.m.

    Agreeing with several other peolpe in that fallout 3 would have been a good adttion not that these werent all great choices but America defintley got fucked up in that.
  • Gameguy94 - July 5, 2011 3:13 a.m.

    What about Fallout. Granted the Chines didn't exactly invade, but getting the Nuked right the fuck up should count. I mean in Fallout 3 the White House is a crater with the Capitol Building occupied by genetically altered humans.

Showing 1-20 of 54 comments

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