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The Top 7... Fictional Presidents


CAMPAIGN PROMISES
- Perfect Dark’s President will not bow to corporate interest or assassination attempts
- PD’s Pres. will strive to reduce reliance on the James Bond license
- PD’s Pres. promises an Expansion Pak in every Nintendo 64 by 2044

EXCELLENCE IN LEADERSHIP
If you need more proof that Perfect Dark’s Commander-in-Chef was ahead of his time, scope that resemblance to a certain African-American presidential candidate! And since he doesn’t have a name, we shall henceforth call him Brock Schmobama.


Above: Okay... maybe they’re just both black 

As an equal opportunity employer, President Schmobama has been lauded for his progressive hiring of women in the workplace, most famously in the case of Madame Joanna Dark in the first Perfect Dark game on the N64. Together this political power couple fought the good fight, toppling a plot perpetuated by defense contractors and aliens conspiring to replace Schmobama with a clone and seizing control of a WMD.

The two became thick as thieves. So chummy, in fact, that Schmobama enacted the “Infinite Retry Act” which allowed Lady Dark to endlessly kill him in the method of her choosing without fear of reprisal. Peep our video below for the many ways one can dispose of a (FICTIONAL!) President.


Above: Don’t try this at home. And especially not in the Whitehouse!

Taft’s Trivia: Unfortunately, many middle class gamers could only experience a fraction of Perfect Dark’s gameplay features, including co-op and single player! Forging an alliance with the proud country of Donkey Kong, Mr. Schmobama was instrumental in spreading awareness of the N64 Expansion Pak. Godspeed, good sir.

 

 


CAMPAIGN PROMISES
- President Max’s first course of action will be to stop his opponent’s tidal wave of destruction
- President Max will educate the populace as to what exactly a “lagomorph” is
- President Max will try to make the transition onto home consoles

EXCELLENCE IN LEADERSHIP
Freelance police work can take you places, but even the greatest gumshoe couldn’t have predicted that it would wisk them off to our nation’s highest office in the nation. Yet that’s exactly what happened to the Rabbit Thingy Least Likely when Sam and Max’s intrepid detective work landed them in the Oval Office.

 

After unseating a puppet president conspiracy seemingly ripped from the minds of Tom Clancy and Jim Henson, it’s up to Max to fill the president’s seat and bring right back to a nation torn asunder. Unfortunately, his opponent is a towering statue of President Abe Lincoln.


Above: Evil Abe 

Upon losing the election, Robo-Abe would go on a calamitous rampage, making his destruction the first on President Max’s to-do list. Fear not Sam & Max fans: President Max would live to sleuth another day. The guy never quits his day job, and continues to juggle duties of Commander-In-Chief and comedic foil throughout the end of Sam & Max’s first season.

 

Taft’s Trivia: Max is actually something called a “Lagomorph” a rodent like creature related to the rabbit family. Now you know!

Topics

Top 7

29 comments

  • Shuuvuia - July 26, 2011 11:02 a.m.

    Anything with J.K. Simmons is hilarious.
  • TheWebSwinger - November 6, 2008 4:50 a.m.

    Chris Antista, you are my fucking hero. Let's go get a Burger, you bad dude. Ha! Ha! Ha!
  • quicksilver_503 - November 5, 2008 7:09 p.m.

    vote for me, if you want to live. :)
  • Defguru7777 - November 5, 2008 2:23 a.m.

    Funny article. Man, I'd vote for Ackerman. And Michael Wilson is the shit!! But I've already voted for Solidus. Sorry guys.
  • KHS_Kid - November 5, 2008 12:43 a.m.

    What about president eden from fallout 3
  • georgeguy - November 4, 2008 9:01 p.m.

    wow nice artial GR and the prez for dah deserves a mention...
  • Cwf2008 - November 4, 2008 1:59 a.m.

    Haha loved the first paragraph. I always knew GamesRadar had a sense of humor, but that joke about George W. Bush being a good president was the best joke i heard today.
  • metroid2099400 - November 4, 2008 1:28 a.m.

    I'd have to dissagree with some of the Halo comment. I've only played the first one, but there are clearly australian voices for some of the NPCs. otherwise a great article!!
  • mikeo1229 - November 3, 2008 11:51 p.m.

    The Ackerman stuff was great. "the Future is coming with armoured Kodiak bears, attack blimps, and enough weaponized robots to turn hope into a four letter word!"
  • Z-man427 - November 3, 2008 11:47 p.m.

    game presidents make Bush look like a very competent leader.
  • CuddlyBomber - November 3, 2008 11:21 p.m.

    Ah man I loled. Thats good shit Chris.
  • chrisat928 - November 3, 2008 11:20 p.m.

    I want to run for president and my platform would be banning douchebags that write 'FIRST!' in their messages.
  • ethanoyak14 - November 7, 2008 11:52 p.m.

    they should put the president from the sonic the hedgehog series
  • pdiddy0819 - November 6, 2008 8:53 p.m.

    funny article...get free wii/xbox 360/ps3 filling out surveys at-http://www.rewards1.com/index.php?referrer_id=448414
  • key0blade - November 6, 2008 12:54 a.m.

    Hilarious GR, yall make my days sometimes
  • Fisforfat - November 5, 2008 10:55 p.m.

    I like how Dubya is on the Cowboys
  • misfit119 - November 4, 2008 10:35 p.m.

    It's amazing that people think that firsting makes them cool or something. It takes a special sort of something to make an internet poster seem even lamer than normal but these firsters have definitely found it. And I remember President Ronnie in Bad Dudes, that was awesome.
  • FancyRat - November 4, 2008 8:37 p.m.

    I'd vote for you, chrisat928.
  • Kerfluffle - November 4, 2008 8:12 p.m.

    The President in Destroy All Humans! is President Huffman you kill/disintegrate him near the end of the game and then impersonate him as president. It does deserve an honorable mention.
  • Diamondis - November 4, 2008 7:23 p.m.

    Is it just me, or does Big Boss look like the floating head from the old Gamesmaster TV show on channel 4? lol

Showing 1-20 of 29 comments

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