The Top 7... Failed Franchises We Know How to Fix

Big G has plenty of games available. Too bad they range from shallowly enjoyable to embarrassingly deplorable. That second link, however, heads to an NES game that had the right idea - Godzilla needs to be the villain, not the hero. You should be in constant awe of his size and indestructible force-of-nature stature. Gameplay should be an uphill struggle that seems impossible at first glance, but becomes plausible as you gradually exploit Zilla's few weaknesses. In other words, just like Shadow of the Colossus.


Above: Godzilla 2000 gets it right: tiny people up against a mountainous foe. Colossus is the perfect gameplay template

See, when you take control of Godzilla, he's not impressive. You completely lose the sense of scale. Destroy All Monsters Melee is cool because we get to see all the crazy monsters designs (and set up dream matches between Toho's best), yet you never once respect the immensity of what's happening - monsters are destroying our society. No conventional weapons affect them, our best offense always fails and there's nothing we can do. It's a dire scenario that isn't best represented by a radioactive dinosaur suplexing a giant robot into the Eiffel Tower.

A proper Godzilla game would unfold just like Colossus, with an unsuspecting hero forced to take down a group of nigh-unstoppable beasts right out of his nightmares. Gigan, Ghidora, Biollante, hell do 'em all. And Godzilla would be the final boss, the last stand, the King of the Monsters. Sweet merciful crap, can we play that game now?


Top 7

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  • Yoshi X100 - December 27, 2008 3:15 p.m.

    I disagree with the Godzilla thing, I think it should be more along the lines of a free roam Grand Theft Auto game where you go on the missions and campaign when you want, build alliances, destroy cities, fight monsters even when your not in campaign, oh and maybe upgrade abilities. Sound Good?
  • PittsburghPirates - January 21, 2009 1:17 a.m.

    No that Mirror's Edge is coming out for PC, someone is bound to make a Mod....
  • rghtstff12 - December 18, 2008 8:04 p.m.

    Thank God somebody finally said it! I am DYING for a solid Batman game.
  • Sebastian16 - December 20, 2008 10:20 p.m.

    I shall pray to the non-existant gods that Batman; Arkham Asylum will be the Batman game we've all been waiting for.
  • Anton_13 - January 4, 2009 10:19 p.m.

    on the star trek note, there's a star trek MMO (MMORPG?) in development
  • Anton_13 - January 4, 2009 10:26 p.m.

    good harry potter thought, but wouldn't that have a bit of a niche appeal? I think harry potter needs an RPG. Not like Mass Effect, because then it would lose something, but still more than just a big, open world.
  • crazyjames - February 24, 2009 10:04 p.m.

    Seeing Jaws chucking grenades at beach goers had to be the absolute highlight of this article. Priceless.
  • Blackhalos99 - April 22, 2009 10:27 p.m.

  • MoonPig - June 15, 2009 10:49 a.m.

    splinter cell FTW
  • Corsair89 - August 30, 2009 4:37 a.m.

    Congradulations, GR. Batman: Arkham Asylum did everything you suggested(except the Batmobile) and proved that you were absoultely right. Kudos.
  • h3110 - September 9, 2008 9:52 p.m.

    cool first comment and i tottlay agree with all of these
  • katwood92 - October 1, 2008 8:47 p.m.

    If every game was Mass Effect, gaming would get boring fast. However Mass Effect does have many different aspects that a lot of games could learn from.
  • rel123 - September 22, 2008 7:32 a.m.

    Our solution: Turn every game into Mass Effect. Excellent.
  • cricket0 - September 27, 2008 8:53 p.m.

    I think that every game needs an upgrade like these
  • PolarBarrett - November 23, 2010 1 a.m.

    funny how this description of the batman one is exactly like arkham asylum. i guess gr was ahead of its time
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - November 28, 2011 4:21 p.m.

    You're welcome.
  • Slayer11496 - November 23, 2010 2:09 a.m.

    Needs more Chuck Norris.
  • ChuckB - November 24, 2010 2:13 a.m.

    That what I thought, Polar, when Arkham Asylum's details were revealed.
  • Sjoeki - November 29, 2011 noon

    It's just creepy how close your idea was to what would be the best game of 2009 (arkham asylum offcourse)

Showing 1-19 of 19 comments

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