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The Top 7... evil corporations

Ultor Corporation– Red Faction: Guerrilla and Saints Row 2


A brief history of the company:

The Ultor Corporation began as a simple clothing company (seen in Saints Row) and eventually rose to become an interplanetary mega-corporation. We’re not putting any jokes in this part because it’s so ridiculous on its own. It made the leap from clothing to city redevelopment and, eventually, in Red Faction, mineral mining on Mars (the planet).

Careful Saints Row 2 players may discover some experimental mining equipment while playing. It was hidden in the game to give a clue about Ultor’s rise to power between the end of Saints Row 2 and the beginning of Red Faction. Here’s its business model:



Why it’s eviler than your company:

Though extracting minerals that make life on 23rd century resource-depleted Earth possible is good, Ultor makes a habit of employing shady business practices. They’re known for brutal forced labor practices, poor working conditions, doing business with street gangs, and giving their employees a plague.

Yes, in Red Faction Ultor actually gives its own workers a nanotech-related plague during everyone’s required annual check-up with the company doctor. So it’s nice the company provides on-site health care, but less nice that it gives you an incurable disease without your knowledge.




Silph Co. – Pokemon

 
A brief history of the company:

There are like eleventy-zillion Pokemon to collect. You gotta get as many as possible so that you get all the badges. And you need all the badges, because if you don’t get all the badges, you won’t be able to fill up your Pokedex. If you don’t fill up your Pokedex… you can’t get all the Pokemon?

Silph Co. recognized that kids are freaking nuts about collecting stuff, and they can’t collect all the Pokemon without Silph Co.’s great products. They’re notable as the world’s only manufacturer of Poke Balls, which is only one of their many products affixed with the word “Poke” to the front of it.



Where and when did the company get its start? Where the heck did Pokemon come from? Nobody knows. Quit asking stupid questions.

Above: Silph Co HQ is 11 stories tall despite somehow appearing to be only nine. 11 x 60 = 666

Why it’s eviler than your company:

Silph Co. was the first to exploit an underdeveloped market, and ever since the first Poke Ball bonked into the first Pikachu, they’ve been the sole manufacturer of Poke paraphernalia, sucking out the allowance money of every young boy or girl trying to become a Pokemon master.  You know what the overhead cost of producing a Poke Ball is? It’s pretty much a baseball made out of plastic.
Silph recommends that responsible trainers let their Pokemon out of the balls every so often to give them a chance to move around, wiggle their little Poke-tails and stretch their short little Poke-legs, but is that enough? Even zoos let monkeys walk around their cages whenever want.  A more humane company would sell Poke Balls of a more appropriate size.

Above: You can’t tell, but this Poke Ball is 47 feet tall

Their monopolistic business model combined with their overly tiny homes for overly cute animals makes Silph Co. one of the worst. Sure, they don’t, like, kill as many people as the other entries, but their misdeeds affect creatures far cuter than poor people.


Above: A Pokemon and this guy are drowning in a river and you only have time to save one... 


S.I.N. – Street Fighter IV


A brief history of the company:

According to the intertwined storylines of all previous Street Fighter games – which we’re sure you all have a clear understanding of – as of the beginning of SFIV, the former evilest corporation on the block, Shadaloo, has fallen out of power, which is what happens when your leader loses too many street fights.



The weapons manufacturer S.I.N. began as non-existent and then became a full-fledged corporation of evil when Capcom settled on Seth being the boss of Street Fighter IV (He’s the C.E.O. of the company). In the Street Fighter universe a corporation’s power is directly proportional to its leader’s ability to punch things, and Seth is no half-hearted hitter. He’s used his company’s resources and technology to study the world’s fighters and incorporated their best moves into his fighting style, which makes him the world’s #1 boss!



Why it’s eviler than your company:

Details on S.I.N.’s plans for the world are unclear, but undoubtedly dubious. The first step is to make Seth a better hand-to-hand fighter, which is why it organized a tournament of the world’s greatest warriors to study their killer moves. The second step is to…

 Set is particularly interested in Ryu’s fighting technique. By luring him into the public eye he hopes to capture him and learn about his “Satsui no Hado.” Wait – it’s not what you think – “Satsui no Hado” roughly translates into “evil intent,” which is a dormant power Ryu has but refuses to use. It’s more or less the same power that Akuma possesses (and uses to make his eyes glow). Obviously Seth would become way too powerful and make SFIV totally unbalanced f he ever took control of that thing. 

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89 comments

  • PatHan-bHai - March 1, 2013 11:37 a.m.

    haah!!! i've never even liked pokemon :P
  • ImAliveOMG - March 12, 2010 10:37 p.m.

    Okay, sorry. Scratch that previous comment of mine. Ultor IS mentioned in RF:G. I'm going back through the game to see if I misunderstood anything. Anyways, I listened to what the guys were saying during the mission "Ultor Echo" and it turns out that the destroyed factory in it is an abandoned Ultor complex. So sorry about that last comment.
  • ImAliveOMG - March 10, 2010 6:04 a.m.

    I don't know where you're getting the Ultor stuff in RF:G from. I played the story mode and Ultor was only breifly mentioned during a news cast. I haven't played Saints Row yet so that might be why I don't understand but if somebody could explain it to me in greater detail that would save me the trouble of going back through RF:G and shelling out enough money to get Saints Row and Saints Row 2.
  • GameManiac - October 24, 2009 5:32 a.m.

    I always DID think that there was something out-of-the-ordinary about that Silph company from the Pokemon games...
  • ItIsTime - August 8, 2009 9:16 p.m.

    What about the Agency from Crackdown? First they run the police force into the ground and put three gangs into power. Then they kill off all three gangs so they can put themselves in as a communist government. Anyone who dose that has to be evil.
  • FamousMortimer - August 4, 2009 12:40 a.m.

    I know I'm super late on this... but don't forget the Armacham Corporation from the F.E.A.R. series. Among their offences: -Creating an abomination of a little girl with the DNA of Armacham's corporate officers and chief scientists. -Using that little girl as a research guinea pig in order to create an army of soulless man-like creatures to serve as highly trained cannon fodder -Impregnating said little girl -Putting said litttle girl into a medically-induced coma after birth, naturally stealing her child for nefarious purposes -Finally killing said girl, not through a quick act of violence, but by withholding food and sustenance, and allowing her to slowfully waste away.
  • reaperman22 - July 24, 2009 12:24 p.m.

    hey Exella isnt part of umbrella but she is just as dambed evil so i'll excuse you GR
  • G1drake - July 24, 2009 12:20 p.m.

    umbrella....evil...NO WAY! well at least theres no company like that here(why that AVON comercial looks like umbrella comercial?)
  • KodeKobra - July 24, 2009 6:46 a.m.

    There are two major companies missing: Sony DADC (makers of SecuROM) and Microsoft for Vista-only games
  • Thirteenth - July 23, 2009 11:46 p.m.

    I guess there probably is alot of this comment before i post this, but 11 x 60 is not 666 it's 660, 11,1 x 60 (or 111 x 6) = 666
  • RandomIdoit - July 23, 2009 10:39 p.m.

    A few things wrong with the silph co. entry. 1.) 11*60=660, as mentioned earlier. Where did you get that 60 anyways? 2.) How would you have "Ancient, Legendary pokemon" if they came from a modern (or futuristic?) company. 3.) They may be the main makers of pokeballs, but they do have competition. 4.) How do you know that pokeballs are just plastic baseballs, do you work for them or something? whew... finally done with that.
  • Coolbeans69 - July 23, 2009 12:41 a.m.

    11 X 60 is 660 not 666
  • Hydrohs - July 22, 2009 4:32 p.m.

    Silph Co. Is not the only maker of PokeBalls. There is also the Devon Corporation which makes much better PokeBalls. And then there's poor old Kurt who takes a day to make on PokeBall... But still.
  • NovaProspekt - July 22, 2009 3:51 p.m.

    I was dissapointed that Black Mesa wasn't number one...Until I got to the end and saw that Aperture Science was the worst, and I was happy again. I wish I had a GLaDOS in my house :-(
  • bonerachieved - July 21, 2009 6:35 p.m.

    This is amazing haha, i love it, keep up the good work guys
  • HungryBeaver - July 21, 2009 6:07 p.m.

    Hey GR, maybe you should learn some math - 11 x 60 = 660 not 666. Its simple math. reCAPTCHA - pine leopards
  • v3mEpiDemiC - July 21, 2009 4:23 p.m.

    Shinra should be number 1.I mean using the souls of dead people for power is the worst thing you could do.God can't be to happy about that.
  • infern0 - July 21, 2009 1:38 p.m.

    Protip: save the hobo because you are in a river and all it would take is one shock from that startled pichu to turn you into toast plus the homeless guy probably has booze.
  • infected123 - July 21, 2009 7:43 a.m.

    oh no not first at all :(
  • infected123 - July 21, 2009 7:42 a.m.

    why is nintendo or sony not on their? nintendo because they allow all that stuff like imagine babiez on their console and have confusing internets friends codes and think that gamers at conferences want to see "wii music" and stuff. (dont get me wrong people are fair enough if people want to play on it but cmon a room filled with gamers) sony because ykno the hole mega arragonce thing and its console cant do much well other than graphics (admitidly badass graphics) p.s anyone who says microsoft are evil because of being greedy and money grabbing, get your facts right the reason that you have to get ads on xbox live and pay2play is because they set the base console cost cheaper than the production cost hoping to make money on xbox live subsrictions. aditionally anyone who plans to call me a fanboy. stfu i own a ps1 (from way back) that i still love to play with, a ds lite, and a 360. i own stuff from all 3 of them, call me a fanboy now! first

Showing 1-20 of 89 comments

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