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The Top 7... Damsels You DON'T Want to Save



Princess Daphne... Dragon's Lair

Alright, alright. Eyes back on the text, please. Before you rush off to the nearest arcade, in search of some dusty and forgotten Dragon's Lair machine, think for a second. Is Daphne really what you want in a damsel? No, seriously - ignore the images above and watch the dim-witted footage below.


Underneath the skimpy leotard and fluttering eyelashes, Daphne's no deeper than a cardboard cutout. No smarter than a blow-up doll bimbo. Nothing more than salacious and cynical bait for your hard-earned quarters (and Dragon's Lair swallowed a LOT of quarters).

Still smitten? Very well. We've tried reasoning with your intellect... now we'll appeal to your baser instincts. Believe it or not, the images below are both Princess Daphne as well. First is the lovely lass as she appears at the end of Dragon's Lair II. Second is your beautiful betrothed in twenty years... if her mother's genes are any indication. Enjoy your happily ever after, sucker.


 

What are the most embarrassing games of all time? What about the evilest? Or the most surprisingly non-sucky? Find out with our complete collection of Top 7 Countdowns.

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Top 7

12 comments

  • DARK_SIDE - January 8, 2010 12:15 a.m.

    good article
  • wiitard07 - November 4, 2009 4:10 a.m.

    Ashley Grahm, little sisters (if they count)
  • triforcexgurl - October 14, 2008 8:22 p.m.

    no, this list isn't complete. what's missing is those four little girls from legend of zelda: phantom hourglass . you spend SO much time saving those little brats, run after them when they're scared of a spider, etc. and it takes you SO long, and then they turn into hideous monsters and make you play volleyball ... thanks alot , girls.
  • WhoShotCaptainFarrel - August 28, 2008 5:16 p.m.

    Peach should have been here! sure we all love mario! and we all can tolerate peach! but have you played as her in any of the smash bros games! shes flipping man-beast! how the hell is she kidnapped so much?!
  • awsome_gamer - October 4, 2008 12:24 p.m.

    whoshotcaptainfarrel is right she is a man beast
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - September 17, 2008 12:57 a.m.

    Peach almost made this list. But I like playing as her in Mario Kart and other Mario sports games, 'cause people HATE losing to something in pink.
  • TarkDaShark - August 31, 2008 8:58 p.m.

    omg i couldnt agree more with maria that bitch
  • griffed88 - April 28, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    How bout the presidents daughter from RE:4. Always shouting in a high pitched voice "LEON! LEON!" I wanted to shoot her instead of the "zombies." And then that lame cut scene at the end with the stupid jet-ski...
  • ryno - April 6, 2009 3:43 p.m.

    what about jen from Prey she was constantly screaming and saying she was scared and what not. she should have had some dignity
  • MOOMAN - August 4, 2009 7:25 p.m.

    ok well i hated maximo spider man 2 good but mary jane iZ weird and ummm yeah zelda should be here why does link have to save her ugly royal butt every 20 seconds? HE HAS A DIGITAL SCRIPTED LIFE TOO!!!!!! IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!
  • OldschoolAL - July 31, 2009 9:49 a.m.

    I didn't mind smacking 2 bells out of billy lee in double dragon at the end, it was always my brother. That was the 1st ever red vs blue y'know?
  • SleepingDragon7 - July 11, 2009 3:02 a.m.

    griffed88, Ashley Williams is the President's daughter. And she's on the list. Also, I liked Jessie before she turned zombie. Grrr.

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