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The Top 7... Damsels You DON'T Want to Save



Cortana... Halo 3

Don't get us wrong. We love Cortana. In a trigger and testosterone-happy war game that often plays like a military recruitment device, she is the one glimmer of personality and spunk. In the company of a largely mute protagonist, she is the one voice of conscience, reason and comfort. She may be nothing more than a piece of computer software, but we'd still do anything and go anywhere for that bundle of 1's and 0's.

Which, ironically, is why we find her so friggin' annoying in Halo 3. Look, Cortana, we already agreed to rescue you, remember? The whole promise thing at the end of Halo 2? Yeah... So please stop interrupting us every other step to harp about "sacrifice" and "hardship." Please stop locking our controller and interfering with our screens every other level so you can babble on and on about defying "gods and demons" and loosing "damnation on the stars." You sound like you're on crazy pills.

Of course, you could have frozen the game to warn us that the level you're imprisoned on is the most painful and frustrating since Halo's Library. Oh wait, never mind - that actually would have been helpful.

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Top 7

12 comments

  • DARK_SIDE - January 8, 2010 12:15 a.m.

    good article
  • wiitard07 - November 4, 2009 4:10 a.m.

    Ashley Grahm, little sisters (if they count)
  • triforcexgurl - October 14, 2008 8:22 p.m.

    no, this list isn't complete. what's missing is those four little girls from legend of zelda: phantom hourglass . you spend SO much time saving those little brats, run after them when they're scared of a spider, etc. and it takes you SO long, and then they turn into hideous monsters and make you play volleyball ... thanks alot , girls.
  • WhoShotCaptainFarrel - August 28, 2008 5:16 p.m.

    Peach should have been here! sure we all love mario! and we all can tolerate peach! but have you played as her in any of the smash bros games! shes flipping man-beast! how the hell is she kidnapped so much?!
  • awsome_gamer - October 4, 2008 12:24 p.m.

    whoshotcaptainfarrel is right she is a man beast
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - September 17, 2008 12:57 a.m.

    Peach almost made this list. But I like playing as her in Mario Kart and other Mario sports games, 'cause people HATE losing to something in pink.
  • TarkDaShark - August 31, 2008 8:58 p.m.

    omg i couldnt agree more with maria that bitch
  • griffed88 - April 28, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    How bout the presidents daughter from RE:4. Always shouting in a high pitched voice "LEON! LEON!" I wanted to shoot her instead of the "zombies." And then that lame cut scene at the end with the stupid jet-ski...
  • ryno - April 6, 2009 3:43 p.m.

    what about jen from Prey she was constantly screaming and saying she was scared and what not. she should have had some dignity
  • MOOMAN - August 4, 2009 7:25 p.m.

    ok well i hated maximo spider man 2 good but mary jane iZ weird and ummm yeah zelda should be here why does link have to save her ugly royal butt every 20 seconds? HE HAS A DIGITAL SCRIPTED LIFE TOO!!!!!! IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!
  • OldschoolAL - July 31, 2009 9:49 a.m.

    I didn't mind smacking 2 bells out of billy lee in double dragon at the end, it was always my brother. That was the 1st ever red vs blue y'know?
  • SleepingDragon7 - July 11, 2009 3:02 a.m.

    griffed88, Ashley Williams is the President's daughter. And she's on the list. Also, I liked Jessie before she turned zombie. Grrr.

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