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The Top 7... Damsels You DON'T Want to Save



Marian... Double Dragon

Three words: Bros before hos.

We don't care if the quest to save Billy's girlfriend from the nefarious Shadow Boss was an iconic moment in your young and impressionable gaming life. We don't care if witnessing that cowardly sucker punch to her gut inspired your first feelings of chivalry and protectiveness. We don't care if the unfortunate upskirt shot that followed inspired your first feelings of something else (yes, we know you people exist).

We don't care because, in the end, Double Dragon orders you to fight your trusted player-two wingman for Marian's love. That's right - the game forces Billy to turn on his own brother Jimmy (who isn't the bad guy in the original arcade version) for a girl. Tsk tsk. What would their mother say?

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12 comments

  • DARK_SIDE - January 8, 2010 12:15 a.m.

    good article
  • wiitard07 - November 4, 2009 4:10 a.m.

    Ashley Grahm, little sisters (if they count)
  • triforcexgurl - October 14, 2008 8:22 p.m.

    no, this list isn't complete. what's missing is those four little girls from legend of zelda: phantom hourglass . you spend SO much time saving those little brats, run after them when they're scared of a spider, etc. and it takes you SO long, and then they turn into hideous monsters and make you play volleyball ... thanks alot , girls.
  • WhoShotCaptainFarrel - August 28, 2008 5:16 p.m.

    Peach should have been here! sure we all love mario! and we all can tolerate peach! but have you played as her in any of the smash bros games! shes flipping man-beast! how the hell is she kidnapped so much?!
  • awsome_gamer - October 4, 2008 12:24 p.m.

    whoshotcaptainfarrel is right she is a man beast
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - September 17, 2008 12:57 a.m.

    Peach almost made this list. But I like playing as her in Mario Kart and other Mario sports games, 'cause people HATE losing to something in pink.
  • TarkDaShark - August 31, 2008 8:58 p.m.

    omg i couldnt agree more with maria that bitch
  • griffed88 - April 28, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    How bout the presidents daughter from RE:4. Always shouting in a high pitched voice "LEON! LEON!" I wanted to shoot her instead of the "zombies." And then that lame cut scene at the end with the stupid jet-ski...
  • ryno - April 6, 2009 3:43 p.m.

    what about jen from Prey she was constantly screaming and saying she was scared and what not. she should have had some dignity
  • MOOMAN - August 4, 2009 7:25 p.m.

    ok well i hated maximo spider man 2 good but mary jane iZ weird and ummm yeah zelda should be here why does link have to save her ugly royal butt every 20 seconds? HE HAS A DIGITAL SCRIPTED LIFE TOO!!!!!! IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!
  • OldschoolAL - July 31, 2009 9:49 a.m.

    I didn't mind smacking 2 bells out of billy lee in double dragon at the end, it was always my brother. That was the 1st ever red vs blue y'know?
  • SleepingDragon7 - July 11, 2009 3:02 a.m.

    griffed88, Ashley Williams is the President's daughter. And she's on the list. Also, I liked Jessie before she turned zombie. Grrr.

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