3. Superman Returns
How can you tell whether you're playing the best superhero game of all time, or one of the absolute worst? Don't bother with differences in story, gameplay and voice acting… just check the collectibles. Batman comics, for example, feature a villain whose sole reason for existence is outsmarting the World's Greatest Detective through traps and puzzles. So naturally, the team behind Arkham Asylum creates the Riddler's Challenge, a massive and complex network of hidden clues, intricate solutions and fan-servicing character cameos.
Superman comics also include a prankster nemesis – Mr. Mxyzptlk, a magical imp from the 5th Dimension who is literally capable of anything, but prefers using his awesome powers to trick and torment the Man of Steel. So obviously, the team behind Superman Returns programmed in a massive and complex network of… lost kittens?
That's right. While the Riddler is taunting Batman with creepy asylum interviews, hoarding other villains' trademark mementos and writing cryptic messages that can only be read under UV light, Mr. Mxyzptlk is busy planting tabbies and calicos on the tops of skyscrapers, or dangling them from the edges of billboards. Chilling.
Okay, yeah, we hate certain collectibles. They're always optional, though, right? Not if you're playing Banjo-Kazooie, they're not. You can't ignore the Jiggies – golden puzzle pieces and unapologetic xeroxes of Super Mario 64's stars – since finding them is the entire point of the game. See? The box art says so:
We could accept those stupidly named collectibles, however, if Rare hadn't also littered its franchise with stupider named Jinjos. And Musical Notes. And Cheato Pages. And Mystery Eggs. And Kluffs. And Honeycombs. And Mumbo Tokens. And Ice Keys. We just made one of those examples up and only three of you noticed – that's how ridiculously overboard the developers went with this stuff. Don't even ask us about the goddamn Stop 'n' Swop.
Why isn't Banjo-Kazooie at the top of our list, then? Because at least the developers have a good sense of humor on the subject: