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The Top 7... Climbers that make me wish I wasn't a horse

2. Nathan Drake, as seen in the Uncharted series


GamesRadar has already outed Nathan Drake as a videogame character we'd go gay for. I'd like to echo that sentiment, adding only that I'd let this human ride me anywhere. I can just picture it now. "Go forth, Buttercup!" says Nathan, as we ride off into the sunset in search of treasure.

Perhaps its Drake's imperfections that make him seem so perfect. Unlike the ancient assassins controlled by Desmond Miles, Nathan Drake always looks like he's about to fall to his doom. When climbing as this protagonist, it always feels like you're losing your grip, just hanging on to some ledge or foothold by the skin of your teeth, split seconds before you slip and fall to your death.

That's what I love about the way Nathan Drake climbs. No matter how many times he leaps to over that same gap or pulls himself up from hanging off a ledge, it always seems different, fresh, and terrifying. Every time Drake finds himself in, yet another, ridiculous situation that requires he scale something dangerous, it seems like he wants to scream from frustration or pee his pants out of fear. Horses don't like it when humans pee their pants. But we do like it when they scream and I personally find his honest sense of fear and disbelief somewhat disarming. Consider this horse smitten.


Above: Nathan Drake's attractiveness as a climber has to do with his body language (especially in Uncharted II). You get a real sense for how dangerous climbing is as you watch him waver 


1. Wander, as seen in Shadow of the Colossus


We have to give it to Wander. The human boy has spunk. When I think of great feats of climbing in games, it usually involves a man and a large still structure. Maybe it's a wall, maybe it's the side of a building, maybe it's a giant Greco-Roman pillar. The point is, the thing being scaled is almost always stactic. And that's why when it comes to climbing, Wander reigns supreme.

Mountains and skyscrapers mean nothing when compared to the titanic task of scaling the hulking colossi that are trying to smash you to a pulp. Look at Wander go in the screenshot below. He's climbing the sword of a freaking giant for Christ's sake!

Of course, it would be an error if I did not mention Wander's loyal steed, Agro. But as much as it pains me to admit it, Agro's equine body just isn't properly built for climbing a mountain, let alone mounting a colossus. Wander may be a weak human, but I can't deny his determination and skill. His ability to scale such titans has earned him my respect.

 


Above: Like Captain Kirk in Star Trek V, Wander climbs because he is in love. I can’t climb. This makes me sad

Jul 26, 2010

 

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60 comments

  • AA95mp - July 29, 2010 1:02 p.m.

    B Buttercup is climbing the mountain, why is he climbing the mountain?
  • camelfro - July 29, 2010 11:38 a.m.

    buttercup is....amazing!
  • LizarDAZZLE - July 28, 2010 2:43 a.m.

    I just bought Pokemon Platinum, caught a Ponyta, and named it BButtercup (a space wouln't have fit. THen it would have been B Buttercu). Do I win?
  • DrOfInsanity666 - July 28, 2010 12:36 a.m.

    Okay that was a little weird, but it was still a good article though.
  • GamesRadarJuniorWildlifeEditor - July 27, 2010 8:51 p.m.

    B Buttercuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppp!!!
  • Ravenbom - July 27, 2010 7:55 p.m.

    Like He-man and Prince Adam, or Superman and Clark Kent, B Buttercup and Tyler Nagata are never in the same room together... ...hmm... I wonder... Could Tyler be He-man?
  • shnazzyone - July 27, 2010 7:21 p.m.

    Obviously somebodies getting their top 7 ideas by shroomin'.
  • Howetzer - July 27, 2010 4:36 p.m.

    Seriously you went ahead and gave the nod to Prototype over InFamous? Youve got to be kidding...this was an article about CLIMBING things yes? Have you played InFamous? From the review flashbacks I'm having Im going to go ahead and say you didn't play either of those games, or you mixed them up in your mind or something. Also lets talk about the Shadow of the collosus thing, I know we're on hallowed Okami type sacred ground here with this game, but damn guys climbing the titans on GoW3 was WAAAAAY better, not to mentioned all the times he's climbed himself out of a little place called HELL! Jeeeze Buttercup, you seriously dropped the ball on this one. BUt I gotta give ya Rampage, I loved the hell outta that game!
  • crumbdunky - July 27, 2010 1:29 p.m.

    Including the godawful Hulk UD remake that was Protoype(where you really jump up the buildings more than climb anyway() rather than inFAMOUS which had, wire fences aside, the BEST climbing mechanics(and no Sly!?)ever done is a poor oversight imho. I truly cannot think of a good reason for Cole not to be on your equine wish list glue botherer-horse am FAIL AT LISTZ!
  • BornToLose3 - July 27, 2010 1:26 p.m.

    lol loved it, great article buttercup. Definately agree with number 1.
  • Ganonpork - July 27, 2010 12:17 p.m.

    O.O i gotta say this horse shit is weirding me out, like alot.
  • Wolverine08 - July 27, 2010 10 a.m.

    NO COLE OFF inFAMOUS!!!
  • philipshaw - July 27, 2010 9:50 a.m.

    Great Top 7, I love how buttercup says "I digress" so much. Wander had to be no1
  • ReadToLights - July 27, 2010 8:37 a.m.

    Horse made book lamp lol
  • BlackElement17 - July 27, 2010 8:23 a.m.

    I would have suggest Sly Cooper.
  • jmcgrotty - July 27, 2010 7:57 a.m.

    Thank God that Mirrors Edge wasn't mentioned. I was cringing from the start, waiting for that to show you. You did good, Buttercup. Go eat a carrot.
  • PipGirl - July 27, 2010 7:47 a.m.

    Well done Buttercup. You've done a great article. I loved the Desmond, Drake, but no Lara. Daaaaaaaaaw Buttercup, c'mon!!
  • AuthorityFigure - July 27, 2010 7:26 a.m.

    I was gonna' suggest Ice Climbers then I remembered that the game sux.
  • lovinmyps3 - July 27, 2010 6:13 a.m.

    I thought for sure Nate would be #1, but I forgot about Wanderer.
  • elpurplemonkey - July 27, 2010 5:36 a.m.

    God I love B Buttercup's articles.

Showing 1-20 of 60 comments

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