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As with Thrill Kill, Bloodstorm’s over the top violence has been well documented both on GR and around the entirety of the internet. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s damn near the most excessively bloody game of all time. In fact, its dismemberment-heavy gameplay outdid its notoriously shreddy predecessor, Time Killers, which featured just as many limbs and heads flying across the room.
Above: The fatalities are just a small part of the violence – you can trim away limbs throughout the match and achieve a “legless victory”
Above: Speaking of fatalities, here they are!
Most effed up fatality: They’re all so absurd it’s tough to consider any of them genuinely bothersome, but perhaps the one where Talon is repeatedly blasting Mirage until her arms and head erupt off her body is kinda nuts, yet ultimately hilarious in an ED-209 kind of way.
Hooo boy. I honestly didn’t know this existed until our fightin’ guru Mike Grimm pointed it out last week. It’s a crude, DOS-only indie game that barely anyone saw or played, but holy shit there’s more blood in one round of Timeslaughter than an entire arcade mode of Mortal Kombat II. Every single time you hit the other person a ridiculous geyser of goo flies out of their head and carpets the ground for the rest of the match. Insane!
The chunky graphics and amateurish sound make it all paradoxically awesome, especially the voice acting and repeated fart noises from the game’s intro (which has disabled YouTube embedding, btw). Is it any fun? Sure, in a mindless sort of way, but Jesus Crackers it’s so goddamn bizarre you have to just detach your mind and let the game wash over you.
Above: Apparently narrated by Dr. Claw
Most effed up fatality: Out of that entire video, the one that really got me was Lazarus ripping out his foe’s innards and playing them like a bagpipe. First, because that’s just a really strange, specific, and imaginative thing to do, and second because I think they nicked it directly from Itchy & Scratchy Land. Definitely not complaining about that – it’s one of the best gags in the show’s history!
The fact a small team of programmers crammed all this nonsense into one game (which you can read about in detail on the official site) is quite a feat. And as far as I can tell, even after 14 years they’re still the creators of the bloodiest game I’ve ever seen. Hats off, guys!
Though I have to say, 2011’s Mortal Kombat reboot is super intense and could bring shock value back to a genre that’s practically lost it completely. Your fighters retain battle damage from one round to the next, so by the time you get through a few fights half your face is missing and you’ve got gaping red holes all over your body. Plus the fatalities are already menacing as hell:
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