The Top 7... Births in video games

5. Assassin's Creed 2

The birth of Ezio is probably the most realistic of any game. There's pain, there's blood... you even get to control the infant's first ever leg, arm and head movement. And, it's got to be said, the sense of tension as the baby lies there silently is palpable. Surely it can't have been stillborn... can it?

The scene ends with Ezio's father holding the baby aloft and naming it - an extremely powerful image. One that our gaming minds spoiled by spontaneously playing the fanfare from Zelda as he held it proudly aloft. Do do do doooo!

Above: One of those things that, once you've seen it, you can never unsee it. Sorry about that...


4: Fable II

While you don't actually get to see the birth in Fable II, you do get to go through the process in one of the most realistic ways in any game. First you choose whether to use protection or not (which obviously you shouldn't if you want a baby). Then, your partner states in the most brilliantly matter-of-fact voice "Well, you've done it - I'm pregnant". No tears, no joy, no running for the hills, just statement of fact.

But then the baby is real - it's there, you can see it, you can pay for it... you can even fart in its general direction if you want. It's OK, he started it.

Above: How many real-life gamers heard the achievement chime in their head on the birth of their first child?

Aww, look at him. He don't look like no chicken chaser to me. But then... I ain't seen none.


Top 7

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  • CountZero - August 9, 2010 4:44 p.m.

    Man, what about Silent Hill 3, where the main character pukes up the fetus of a malevolent demon god. Then, before she can stomp it to death, another character grabs it and swallows it whole, and moments later gives birth to said god. Pretty effin messed up. On that note, idea for a future top 7: Top 7 Gods in Video Games!
  • axelgarcia1 - August 7, 2010 5:37 a.m.

    past the disgusting idea of the dude returning to the womb, that ending was hilarious
  • TheBoz - August 4, 2010 9:48 a.m.

    One game I am surprised that hasn't made the list is Mindscape's 1996 release of Creatures. Think of a 2D platform version of The Sims but with cute creatures, Norns I think they were called. I really am surprised this hasn't been remembered at all.
  • lovinmyps3 - August 3, 2010 8:14 p.m.

    The last one was... disgusting.
  • GameManiac - August 3, 2010 4:25 p.m.

    Ohohoho! I can't believe Clement just did that! Damn Sega! How Pokemon eggs appear was never made clear. For all we know, they just appear out of thin air.
  • icantbelieveitsnutbutter - August 3, 2010 1:47 p.m.

    Another clever thing about the Fallout 3 birth, you only see your father's silhouette until you choose your race. Something I noticed on my second play through. Very cool game. Can't wait for New Vegas.
  • philipshaw - August 3, 2010 11:22 a.m.

    Somehow a more intresting article than I thought it would be, House of the Dead Overkill rules
  • icbacomingupwithapropername - August 3, 2010 10:09 a.m.

    Holy crap WTF at the overkill thing.
  • tailsjacks - August 3, 2010 9:13 a.m.

    you forgot world guinness records for F-bombs
  • xR3VOLV3RMAN69x - August 3, 2010 7:50 a.m.

    da fuck where viva pinata
  • whiteknight1981 - August 3, 2010 1:12 a.m.

    Do you think Antista will use the Gears of War puke sound effect for each birth followed by the Ta-da! noise?
  • poosmacker - August 3, 2010 12:17 a.m.

    wait, weres baby maker extreme!?!?
  • SausageLozenge - August 2, 2010 11 p.m.

    Chicken Chaser! great article, I can't wait to here this discussed on T-dar.
  • Cyberninja - August 2, 2010 10:19 p.m.

    very strange and interesting
  • Crimmy - August 2, 2010 8:31 p.m.

    @Silvermech Shiny Piplups have lighter shades of blue, it's just hard to see in the video. It is also shown by star, as you said in your comment.
  • Mexiflan - August 2, 2010 8:08 p.m.

    I watched the House of the Dead video at work,with my boss,and we both laughed. I love my job.
  • R3DRUN - August 2, 2010 7:43 p.m.

    The House of the Dead: Overkill ending was a dude with Oedipus Complex unbirthing himself in his giant zombie mother's womb... not to complicated to understand. (*que the vomit sound effect)
  • ice_sneasel - August 2, 2010 6:48 p.m.

    for pokemon you should have had the aceus event from hg/ss when arceus lays an egg of giritina, dialga, or palkia
  • Thuperman - August 2, 2010 6:33 p.m.

    Hahaha well that was a fun article to read
  • John_Romero - August 2, 2010 5:28 p.m.

    Lego Star Wars had a pretty funny birth scene.