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The Top 7... Births in video games

There aren't many things that everyone in the world goes through in life. Being born is one of those things. But, strangely, this most natural of bodily functions is very rarely tackled in video games. Maybe it's because babies come from a part of a lady that you just can't show in a game (unless you're rendering character statues in Resident Evil 5, apparently). Or maybe there just aren't enough virtual clean towels and hot water to go around.

So, clearly, when a game does tackle this subject, it's almost always memorable. So here are our Top 7 births in gaming. Starting with…

 

7. Fallout 3

Bright white light, cold, pain… and that's just us leaving the house in the morning. This scene from Fallout 3, however, is particularly clever. Not only does it start the game from an unusual point of view, it gives you a believable character edit system as you're shown what you will look like in a couple of decades' time.


Above: What, so I'm going to look like that? Isn't there anything you can do? Doctor? 

Seeing the game from a child's perspective is a neat idea, and one that hasn't been overdone (so far). Of course everyone loves to copy good ideas, so expect to be 'born' in Metal Gear 6, Final Fantasy XV and Gran Turismo 6 in the near future.


Above: What Gran Turismo would be like if you had to choose your driving preferences at birth

Fallout 3's birth may be relatively realistic (and one tinged with tragedy as you'll see from the video below), but it's not the most realistic on this list, which is why it's so far down the order. Also, no baby would leave blood spatters on its eyes without blinking, so that's a bit weird. And the acting is pretty poor. The man's just had a baby and lost his wife, yet still speaks in the same soothing monotone. Well, he is gaming's most indestructible dad, so who are we to judge?

 

6. Pokemon

Hatching from an egg is every bit as 'being born' as the other method. You just grow on the outside instead of the inside, that's all. Of course, nobody has ever seen a Pokemon egg actually being laid, so they could just appear out of nowhere without any Poke-reation going down.

But why does it make the list over any other egg hatching in a game? Because the birth of your first manufactured Pokemon is a wonderful moment. You've left a compatible male and female Pokemon at the Day Care Center, gone off to do other things, collected the mysterious egg, then walked with it for hours (or ridden your bike round aimlessly for a few minutes). Suddenly... out it comes.

As for me, well I was lucky enough to start Pokemon Platinum with a female Piplup, which is apparently about 1 in 8 chance rare. So as soon as I could, I set about creating an army of Piplups. It was awesome. And yes, every time one was born, it made me happy inside.


Above: Artist's impression of the contents of my copy of Pokemon Platinum. Piplup FTW

I can only imagine the wonderment of hatching a Shiny Piplup... but that's something this YouTube user did:



 

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36 comments

  • CountZero - August 9, 2010 4:44 p.m.

    Man, what about Silent Hill 3, where the main character pukes up the fetus of a malevolent demon god. Then, before she can stomp it to death, another character grabs it and swallows it whole, and moments later gives birth to said god. Pretty effin messed up. On that note, idea for a future top 7: Top 7 Gods in Video Games!
  • axelgarcia1 - August 7, 2010 5:37 a.m.

    past the disgusting idea of the dude returning to the womb, that ending was hilarious
  • TheBoz - August 4, 2010 9:48 a.m.

    One game I am surprised that hasn't made the list is Mindscape's 1996 release of Creatures. Think of a 2D platform version of The Sims but with cute creatures, Norns I think they were called. I really am surprised this hasn't been remembered at all.
  • lovinmyps3 - August 3, 2010 8:14 p.m.

    The last one was... disgusting.
  • GameManiac - August 3, 2010 4:25 p.m.

    Ohohoho! I can't believe Clement just did that! Damn Sega! How Pokemon eggs appear was never made clear. For all we know, they just appear out of thin air.
  • icantbelieveitsnutbutter - August 3, 2010 1:47 p.m.

    Another clever thing about the Fallout 3 birth, you only see your father's silhouette until you choose your race. Something I noticed on my second play through. Very cool game. Can't wait for New Vegas.
  • philipshaw - August 3, 2010 11:22 a.m.

    Somehow a more intresting article than I thought it would be, House of the Dead Overkill rules
  • icbacomingupwithapropername - August 3, 2010 10:09 a.m.

    Holy crap WTF at the overkill thing.
  • tailsjacks - August 3, 2010 9:13 a.m.

    you forgot world guinness records for F-bombs
  • xR3VOLV3RMAN69x - August 3, 2010 7:50 a.m.

    da fuck where viva pinata
  • whiteknight1981 - August 3, 2010 1:12 a.m.

    Do you think Antista will use the Gears of War puke sound effect for each birth followed by the Ta-da! noise?
  • poosmacker - August 3, 2010 12:17 a.m.

    wait, weres baby maker extreme!?!?
  • SausageLozenge - August 2, 2010 11 p.m.

    Chicken Chaser! great article, I can't wait to here this discussed on T-dar.
  • Cyberninja - August 2, 2010 10:19 p.m.

    very strange and interesting
  • Crimmy - August 2, 2010 8:31 p.m.

    @Silvermech Shiny Piplups have lighter shades of blue, it's just hard to see in the video. It is also shown by star, as you said in your comment.
  • Mexiflan - August 2, 2010 8:08 p.m.

    I watched the House of the Dead video at work,with my boss,and we both laughed. I love my job.
  • R3DRUN - August 2, 2010 7:43 p.m.

    The House of the Dead: Overkill ending was a dude with Oedipus Complex unbirthing himself in his giant zombie mother's womb... not to complicated to understand. (*que the vomit sound effect)
  • ice_sneasel - August 2, 2010 6:48 p.m.

    for pokemon you should have had the aceus event from hg/ss when arceus lays an egg of giritina, dialga, or palkia
  • Thuperman - August 2, 2010 6:33 p.m.

    Hahaha well that was a fun article to read
  • John_Romero - August 2, 2010 5:28 p.m.

    Lego Star Wars had a pretty funny birth scene.

Showing 1-20 of 36 comments

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