The Top 7... Biggest drunks in games

Meet the characters who love to murder the moonshine

Vlad | GTA IV

Liberty City’s most loathsome loan shark is good at many things. Intimidating fat taxi owners. Repulsing women. Being a sadistic ass. Making vodka-endorsed escapes from amoral Balkan assassins in anticlimactic car chases? Not so much. And, after spending the game’s first few hours knocking back PissWassers and Comrade’s cheapest spirits, it’s no surprise to see him crash his car then drunkenly beg for his life.

It says volumes for the abilities of alcohol to make a person feel massively self-important when you’ve got Vlad calling Niko a peasant, even though he himself drinks at the cheapest bar in the city, drives unreliable motors and wears the kind of flea-ridden suit and sweater combos that went out of fashion with Tubbs and Crockett. Also, how drunk do you have to be to employ a man who blows up cop cars and has an unhealthy obsession with capping pigeons, and then act surprised when he sinks a slug in your colon?





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