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The Top 7... badass old folks

2. Oro

 

Age: 152

Unleashing wrinkly whupass in: Street Fighter III

Oro has survived for more than a century and a half, presumably as a direct result of simply being really, really, really hard. We’re talking about a man who gave up normal life in favour of jungle hermitdom out of nothing more than his boredom at a lack of unworthy fight challengers. That’s how important fighting is to this guy. If he can’t take a beating, he’ll give up on the world.

Also, did we mention that he fights with one arm strapped up so that he doesn’t kill his opponents by accident? And that the only reason that he didn’t beat Akuma was that he was just sparring with him for shits and giggles? But planet-busting combat abilities (and unfortunate ET-meets-Crypt-Keeper stylings) aside, Oro is a bit of a good egg. Not only does he have a great care for his adversaries’ well-being, his SFIII: Third Strike ending shows that the only thing capable of renewing his life’s purpose is a paternal desire to help Ryu reach his full potential.

Oh, and he also rides on the top of planes. Not even Batman rides on the top of planes.

If he was your Grandad:

Oro would be the ultimate badass video game grandad. He’d combine the benevolence of Johnson with the ancient wisdom of Shun Di and The End, and once fully trained, his grandkids could beat the crap out of Bill’s grandkids in their sleep and put Heihachi himself in a coma with a moderately forceful blink.

He’d have to hug them one at a time though. Both arms, and they’d be child soup.


1. Old Grandma Hardcore

Age: 73

Unleashing wrinkly whupass in: the real world

Oh come on, we had to.

If you’re not already aware of Barbara St. Hilaire, head over to the Old Grandma Hardcore blog right now. It’s not the SafeSearch baiting horror it sounds, we promise. What you’ll actually find over there is the continuing story of the coolest old lady in gaming.

Not for her, a sudden faddish interest in gaming through a chance encounter with Wii Sports. Oh no. Fuelled with games by her grandson Timothy (writer of said blog), she’ll curse, frag, swear and curse her way through any shooter or RPG she can get her hands on, devour it on Veteran, then move on to the next before most of us have even got through the tutorial.

Don’t assume that the site is just a one-note gimmick though. If you trawl through the blog archive, you’ll find a genuinely cool and sweet old lady with one hell of a good relationship with her grandson. It sounds trite to call it heartwarming, but the day-to-day story of two generations bonded by gaming is one of the most smile-inducing things on the internet.

If she was your Grandma:

It would be awesome.

13 July, 2009

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Solid Snake became a ripe old git – what if others did too?

 

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Videogame vixens gone horribly, horribly wrong

 

Topics

Top 7

93 comments

  • richomak27 - July 13, 2009 10:18 a.m.

    Most old people suck though. these are just the few exceptions (also they're video game characters).
  • v8ninety - July 13, 2009 1:17 p.m.

    Ha Ha, impressed you got images of "Clive Dunn" looks like from the video of the Grandad song he did in the UK. You may (or may not know) he was also in a comedy series called "Dad's Army" about the "Home Guard" in the UK during WWII so the ammo and gun references work as well.
  • wrapdump - July 13, 2009 1:23 p.m.

    I'm not going to say you forgot solid snake on this list, cos you won't have, but I wish he was on here.
  • Jacob816 - July 13, 2009 1:38 p.m.

    What, no Old Snake? Fail.
  • oryandymackie - July 13, 2009 2:30 p.m.

    Why is there so many old folks from fighting series' in here? It gets boring after awhile...
  • Csheroe - July 13, 2009 3:05 p.m.

    Old Snake? Where? Oh he's not here... Anyway good article. I enjoyed Avery. Didn't know he was 82. I got blown up by a flying lightbulb!
  • FreekinIdiot - July 13, 2009 3:37 p.m.

    My Grandad is awesome because of booze...then again, it does cause him to Grandma on a regular basis...hmmm
  • FreekinIdiot - July 13, 2009 3:40 p.m.

    Of course I meant to say - My Grandad is awesome because of booze...then again, it does cause him to beat Grandma on a regular basis...hmmm I think the joke may be lost now! I have rather large dougy spam hands and sometimes struggle to strike the keybvfibaiu;bsd
  • garnsr - July 13, 2009 4:24 p.m.

    Yeah, Mr. Miyagi didn't get tougher when he got drunk, he just passed out, trying to wipe out the painful memories. Shun Di's definitely a cooler grandpa.
  • walrusthewill - July 13, 2009 5:19 p.m.

    YES i thought everyone had forgotten about oro thank you gr
  • skyguy343 - July 13, 2009 5:41 p.m.

    i think the old lady with the GINORMOUS shopping cart cannon in no more heroes would be awesome but then again, i'd do anything to get a no more heroes or SotC mention into an article
  • iluvmyDS - July 13, 2009 6:29 p.m.

    Grandma Hardcore is the definite exception to the game hating older generations. Also an older representative of what all the media thinks gamers are like.
  • AnonymouZ - July 13, 2009 6:31 p.m.

    if grandparents were willing to give a fuck about videogames AND played them. The world would be a better place. Full of hardcore grandmas and hardcore grandpas.
  • sgloomy - July 13, 2009 6:35 p.m.

    What happened to Gen from street fighter? and isn't wolverine technically an old person according to the age specifications? great article though, the more i think about it, the more there are badass old people in games.
  • ELpork - July 13, 2009 7 p.m.

    Heihachi's father was older, and was more insane... but Heihachi has bad ass hair.... so Good choice.
  • octagons - July 13, 2009 7:35 p.m.

    What? no reverend Ray?
  • sklorbit - July 13, 2009 7:56 p.m.

    cmon how 'bout old snake! i dont care if he is only 20 he is still old
  • Amnesiac - July 13, 2009 9:19 p.m.

    Holy crap, I wish Hardcore Grandma was my grandma.
  • Harmon20 - July 13, 2009 9:40 p.m.

    I could've sworn Snake would have been #1. You WOULD make him #1. Of course, I couldn't think of anyone else, so you'd have a point even if you did.
  • GaMeRGuY1oh4 - July 13, 2009 10:09 p.m.

    @ Xplosive59: I was just about to say that. Oh, and by the way, I was expecting Bill. And how do you know his last name, Overbeck? Oh, and what's the other survivor's last names as well?

Showing 1-20 of 93 comments

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