Last seen in: Killer 7 (GC/PS2, 2005)
What's their deal? Including seven assassins in a single entry isn't cheating if they're all the same person - which is what the Smiths are. Although they appear as seven wildly different killers with distinct abilities and quirks, each one is, in fact, a part of Harman Smith, an ancient, wheelchair-bound assassin with multiple-personality syndrome. Manifested to foil a cabal of zombie suicide bombers called Heaven Smile, they are: Garcian Smith, the fixer and dominant personality; Dan Smith, an aggressive gunslinger; Kaede Smith, a self-mutilating sniper in a bloodstained towel; Con Smith, a blind kid who runs really fast; Coyote Smith, a shiftless thief; Mask de Smith, a former pro wrestler; and Kevin Smith, a creepy weirdo who carries around a lot of knives.
Weapons of choice: A Colt Python .357 revolver (Dan), a silenced P230 pistol (Garcian), a.45 pistol with attached sniper scope (Kaede), paired automatic pistols (Con), an Enfield revolver (Coyote), paired grenade launchers (Mask), an assortment of knives (Kevin) and an armor-piercing sniper rifle (Harman).
Highest-profile hit: Hiroyasu Kurahashi and Shinya Akiba, two insanely grotesque monsters who are also members of Japan's ruling political party.
Why they're awesome: As seven assassins projected from the mind of a crazy old hitman, the Smiths are already a lot weirder - and therefore cooler - than your average videogame hero. Each one is pretty fascinating in his or her own right, too, able to kick ass and look cool in unique and complementary ways, and the fact that their "targets" are actually slavering demon terrorists in disguise neatly absolves the Smiths from the moral ambiguity that troubles their colleagues.
Besides - seven hitmen for the price of one? How is that not awesome?
Last seen in: Mega Man Powered Up (PSP, 2006)
What's his deal? What? Mega Man's an assassin!? Impossible! But hear us out: his original purpose has been muddied by years of sequels that watered him down and repeatedly reinvented him, but before he was a computer program or a Maverick hunter, Mega Man was the original robotic assassin. Cute as he was, his entire purpose was to hunt down specific targets and kill them, acting on the orders of Dr. Light.
And were those orders really for the betterment of mankind? Mega Man certainly thought so - but then, he was programmed to. For all we know, Dr. Light is really some kooky Luddite with a beard and a terrorist agenda, and Dr. Wily is a famous industrialist who just happens to live in a skull-shaped castle. What's more, we never see any of Mega Man's pre-selected victims attack anything or anyone other than Mega Man himself - and that's after he barges into their lairs waving a gun around.
But we know they're evil, because Dr. Light said so. And Dr. Light wouldn't lie to a robot… would he?
Signature weapon: The Mega Buster, an arm-mounted cannon that shoots what look like ping-pong balls. For God's sake, he has a gun for an arm! What more proof do you need?
Highest-profile hit: While he's tried repeatedly to kill Dr. Wily, something always stops Mega Man at the last second. Maybe he figures that just destroying all of the man's possessions and crushing his dreams is enough. So instead, we're going to say Cut Man, because everyone remembers their first kill.
Why he's awesome: Yeah, OK, so more recent games have given the story a much less questionable moral context - especially Mega Man Powered Up, which enables you to play as Mega Man's "targets" after they're defeated. But good or bad, avenger or assassin, it really doesn't matter; Mega Man is Mega Man, and we love him no matter what. His huge eyes and plucky determination are part of that, but Mega Man's coolest feature has always been his ability to cannibalize his targets and take their power for his own. That's always been the best part of any of his games: earning a destructive new ability and then finding out what you can do with it. Who cares whether we got it by morally indefensible means?