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The Top 7... Annoying nags that need to STFU

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Not only did we get the hero that no one wanted in this Metal Gear, but we also got his stupid whining girlfriend. Every time the Codec bleeps into life it seems that Rosemary's there, banging on and on about some inane dross that a man doesn't need to hear when he's running around an offshore facility killing men and hiding in lockers.

And Rosemary *must* be having her period because she's not just a nag, she's an unpredictable, emotional car wreck of a nag. She gets a huff on because Raiden can't remember the day they met. She starts crying because Raiden's room is sparsely decorated. She's lonely. She's not happy with her sex life. She wants Raiden to take more care with his appearance. And she insists on telling Raiden all of this - and more - throughout the duration of the game.

Thanks to Rosemary's persistent and emotionally-wobbly bleating, the Codec messages are like sitting through a therapy session between two highly dislikeable people. One of whom is a nag that needs to put a bung in her stupid pie hole.

He seems like such a sweet old dude. The helpful janitor. But, like most old people, he's a nag, a busy body and he gets right on your tits very, very quickly. "Have a transceiver" he says to Frank West when they first meet in the zombie overrun mall. It seems like the perfect team - Otis looking for survivors on the security monitors and Frank rescuing them. But the relationship curdles after, say, the second or third time that Otis buzzes the transceiver while Frank is up to his ear holes in hungry flesh eaters.

When speaking to Otis on the accursed transceiver, Frank is an easy meal for the dead people. He can't use weapons, so all he can do is run. Or he can cut the call from Otis short and get back to the business of making sure he's not eaten to death. But Otis doesn't like being cut off and he calls back two seconds later to have a moan. "Don't hang up on me. It's rude." What an idiot.

In the space of three days in the mall, Otis calls Frank around 40 times. And to think we get pissed when our mum calls us up more than twice a week.

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86 comments

  • gamefreakl1996 - July 22, 2010 8:55 p.m.

    ahem, KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA KAEPORA GAEBORA
  • iDeza - January 3, 2010 9:23 a.m.

    oh yeah michelle was soooooooo annoying i had to literally kill her to get her to shut the hell up
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 6:20 a.m.

    Lol, these are great.
  • Vader999 - November 22, 2009 2:44 a.m.

    Honorable mention to Juno Eclipse and Cortana. They were hot, but they were also sometimes annoying.
  • HackMaxx - November 7, 2009 11:14 p.m.

    The Aussie girl in Mercenaries 2 who clearly has no long term memory given the repetitive 'advice' I heard every 3 minutes or so should have been included, if she has to talk I'd much rather hear about ways to avoid the gamebreaking glitches *sigh* and I used to love the Australian accent.
  • nyuh - July 12, 2009 9:07 a.m.

    GLADOS ISN'T ON THERE?????
  • Remake - July 5, 2009 9:22 p.m.

    The Dead Rising one completely made my day. PS: 'moistest' showed up in my antispam message. Now I have to look that up in the dictionary. Thanx >.>
  • Murcielago - June 1, 2009 2:23 a.m.

    Aaaaahahaha totally agree on Stuntman the director shits me off sooooo effing much...Love the game though.
  • Danomeon - April 26, 2009 9:28 p.m.

    Navi? HEY! LISTEN!
  • Sinsational - April 15, 2009 2:27 p.m.

    Though I haven't played most of these games, I totally understand the MGS2 one.
  • Assassin4than - April 11, 2009 2:23 p.m.

    Every character in Animal Crossing but especially Resetti and insurance guy. an also when the animals run upto you all excited and want to talk but ur already talking to someone and they wont shut up and u want to see why the other ones so excited incase theyll give you theyre photograph. but by the time youre done they got sad and walked away.
  • bamit11 - April 6, 2009 8:47 p.m.

    how was ashley from RE4 not in this!! every five seconds it's LEON!! HELP!!! i sometimes killed her she was so annoying
  • sofaku - April 4, 2009 5:25 p.m.

    i cant belive navi isnt on there
  • Grand1nquisitor - April 4, 2009 3:48 p.m.

    I agree with Brett about RE 5 and 4 for that matter. The unlockables and level-up weapons make it irresistible to play through again and again.
  • EmmaXII - April 3, 2009 6:28 p.m.

    Wot the crap!!! Am. .. . Wot about Navi!!! She SUCKS!! "HEY LISTEN!" And wen u fite gannon shes all like, "Link!, i can't help u" wen she duznt seem 2 be tryin very very hard.
  • Phantasmagorical - April 3, 2009 3:55 p.m.

    Awesome, awesome article! XD God, I hated Kendra. >:[
  • izayuh - April 3, 2009 2:17 p.m.

    i agree about the michelle one because i swear she called me the most out of any the girls i dated
  • Spybreak8 - April 3, 2009 3:28 a.m.

    When someone told me I could answer the people's calls in GTAIV and then cancel the plans without them getting ticked off my world changed. GTAIV was not as bad as other people had to go with and they should have had that in the manual haha. As for dead rising, Zman I agree 100%.
  • wiisixty - April 2, 2009 10:57 p.m.

    hilarious feature
  • gmilf71 - April 1, 2009 6:02 a.m.

    yes! mgs2 was soooo anoying! but what about clank in Rachet: deadlocked? he'd say stuff like: Rachet, there's 5 robots in front of you shooting at you. can you see them?

Showing 1-20 of 86 comments

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