The Top 7... Annoying nags that need to STFU

The champion ear-benders that should stop talking

This is a game that you can only get good at by playing over and over and over. And - as if the frustrating nature of the actual game isn't enough to put gristle up your chuffer - the Director's constant nagging will definitely push any man to breaking point. Instructions. Orders. Commands. It's fine for the first couple of goes. It's almost useful. But when you know what you have to do, but just can't do it, his incessant bossing quickly leads to extreme enragement.

U-Turn. Drift left. Drift right. Pass close to the cars. Through the gap. Scrape the vehicle. Hard left. Hard right. Smash the shack. Jump and hit the railing. Hit the boxes. Hit the ramp. Jump through the gap. Hit the action button. Follow the lead vehicle. Pass close to the explosion. Overtake left. Overtake right. Pop a wheelie. Break through the gate. Hit the jump. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. It's like actual mental torture.

And when you inevitably fail miserably by driving into a river, the Director offers some smarmy, condescending comment like "Where are you going?" Seriously, if he was an actual real person we'd definitely take him down to China Town. What a loud-mouthed cock rod.

March 30, 2009


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.
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