The Movie: Sylvester Stallone stars as a trucker with a passion for the suddenly respectable world of arm wrestling while attempting to win the love of his son. Possibly the world's first and only movie about arm wrestling and the colorful characters it involves. Worth watching for the amazingly dramatic representation of two men holding hands and gurning at each other.
Previous Games: Amazingly, none.
Why It Needs A New Game: Publishers are still intensely promoting motion control as the next big thing, and what better way to truly demonstrate the power of Microsoft Kinect or PlayStation Move than with a videogame based on the most intense sport mankind has ever known? Players will step into the boots of Sylvester himself and tackle a variety of gaudily dressed hairy monstrosities. Work your way from gas station cafes to the big leagues in your bid to win a new truck. It's every boy's fantasy.
It would also make a perfect launch title for the Wii U. You remember that video they showed of the woman playing golf with the controller on the ground? It'll be like that, but with arm wrestling! So exciting.
The Movie: A man on the run from Nazis is able to make puppets come to life for no good reason. The puppets end up in a hotel and fall under the employ of several evil masters before the entire franchise devolves into prequels with no regard to continuity. People always remember the Gestapo puppet with the hook hand.
Previous Games: None.
Why It Needs A New Game: Puppet Master is one of many ridiculous Full Moon Studios franchises in production. To date it has had 10 major movie installments, all of them absurd. Nevertheless, the concept of an army of murderous puppets is a frightening one and, done right, could make for a really scary horror game.
Failing that, there is a potential TV series in the works called Puppet Wars, and in 2005, series writer Charles Band expressed interest in a videogame tie-in. The title would practically develop itself -- an online multiplayer game in which you get to customize your own deadly puppet, complete with his own costume, weapons and perks. Creativity and humanity's morbid fear of killer dolls come together in a game that would take Christmas by storm!
The Movie: Arnold Schwarzenegger is convicted of a crime he didn't commit in a future where bloodsports are considered family entertainment. He ends up on a game show where criminals fight for their freedom in an arena full of ludicrously dressed villains. Famous for that bit with the skeletons fighting in an X-ray machine, and the fat bloke covered in Christmas lights who sings opera. Also inspired the arcade classic Smash TV.
Previous Games: The Running Man (1987, home computers)
Why It Needs A New Game: First of all, you can't have a list of ‘80s films without including The Schwarzenegger, even if he is a big old game-hating hypocrite these days. This is one of those films that look made to be a game, with a paper-thin plot and a ludicrous premise that exists only to show people beat the tar out of each other with motorbikes, weaponized hockey sticks, and flamethrowers. The movie has it all. It's hardly surprising that Smash TV copied the premise almost to the letter and was a major success.
Put the player in some bright yellow lycra, toss him into a series of arenas against increasingly stupid opponents, and you have yourself a game. Also, Schwarzenegger will gladly provide voice acting because he needs the money, and we'll have another reason to bash him for profiting off an industry he claims to stand against. Everybody wins!
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